Yet another new site! Simply Strippers!

The latest site in our portfolio is now available to you. Introducing Simply Strippers! Stripping is the ancient art of removing clothes in an erotic manner and at Simply Strippers we have some of the finest babes in the world removing their clothes just for you!

The Thai Bride. Adults Only

An Englishman marries his Thai girlfriend and they go straight to a hotel to consumate the marriage. When he has finished he is lying there but she just wont leave him alone. She spends her whole time fondling his willy!

"Do you really like it that much?" he asks her, feelling very pleased with himself.

"Not really" she replies. "I just miss the one I used to have."

Here is a bird.

Erzat Englishman wins at Monaco.

For a change the Monace Grand Prix wasn't just the usual borefest. Because it rained we actually got a race today. Unfortunately it was won by erzat Englishman Lewis Hamilton.

This piece of dirt is typical of everything that is wrong with this country. He has already earnt more money than he can ever hope to spend in his entire life time yet now lives in Switzerland so he doesn't have to pay tax in this country.

The poor in England are taxed more heavily than just about anywhere else in the world yet the people who could ease that tax burden, the super rich like scum Hamilton, refuse to pay their way. They are quite happy to get rich on the backs of the poor who pay their wages by supporting them yet when it comes to giving something back they don't want to know.

There should be a law that states that anyone living outside the country for a year and who doesn't pay their taxes in this country has their British Passport taken away and are forced to take citizenship in whichever tax haven they have fled to.

Lewis Hamilton gave up any right he had to call himself English when he spat in the faces of the poor by moving to Switzerland just to save himself money that he could never hope to spend anyway.

All I wanted was a form stamped. Adults Only

As Mitsubishi were finding it difficult to do the only thing they exist for, provide a new car, I cancelled my order for a Colt and went to Vauxhall instead. Everything was fine. The Vauxhall Dealer, Now Motors in Kew, were brilliant. Motability were really helpful and all was going well. But then I had to get a form stamped by Twickenham Job Centre which was where it all went wrong.

When you first sign up to the Motability scheme you have to get a form stamped authorising the DLA to pay part of your disability living allowance to Motability. You are then given a "safe date" a date from when you are allowed to take delivery of the car. Because I had already signed up my safe date was May 7th but because I had a new agreement my customer reference number had changed so the paperwork was changed to reflect this and my local Job Centre, Twickenham, had to stamp the form. Something that should take seconds to do.

Firstly you can't just walk in and have the form stamped, you have to make an appointment. I believe the reason for this is that if they fill their days with ten minute appointment slots to do something that takes thirty seconds they don't actually have to do very much work.

So Friday morning I went down to have my form stamped. The rudest woman I have ever had to deal with in my life, and remember I worked for British Rail at Wimbledon Station and drove a cab for years, was assigned to stamp my form. You took one look at it and refused to sign it saying I have to have a new safe date.

So I explained that Motability were already being paid my DLA, that a new safe date wasn't needed and that all she need do is stamp the form.

"Don't tell me how to do my job" she snapped. "If I decide not to deal with you then nobody here will deal with you"

So then she rings the DLA and, because I already have a safe date they quite obviously won't issue another one.

"Well I can't stamp the form without a safe date" she tells me as she puts down the phone.

I explain that the safe date is already printed on the form, all she has to do is stamp it! But she insists that it can't be done so I ask her what happens now only for her to tell me she doesn't know and it is not her job to find out.

By now I have the serious hump and leave before I end up telling this rude arrogant stuck up bitch exactly what I think of her. I went back to the Vauxhall dealer, they got onto Motability and the DLA and the answer is the same. All that the Job Centre need to do is stamp the form. So the DLA tell me to go back to Twickenham.

So off I go back to Twickenham Job Centre. I explain to the man at the reception desk that I need my form stamped and he tells me I have to make another appointment. I tell him that is not good enough, that it was one of their staff who had got it wrong and I need my form stamped now. He tells me I have to make another appointment. I tell him I want to see a manager. He says I can't. So I demand to see a manager. Eventually he agrees but not until the security guard has threatened to throw me out! After I laughed in this security guards face and explained to him that I was having a private conversation with the receptionist and if he butted in again I would break him in half they finally agreed to let me see a manager, when one eventually became available.

Now the soppy little idiot of a security guard was now crapping himself because a nine stone man with lung cancer had just threatened him so while I sat down to wait he ran away with his tail between his legs and a grown up version turned up to replace him. While this full size man kept an eye on me I sat and waited. And waited. And waited.

Then I had an idea. I went up to the security guard and told him that I would need my medication soon and I wasn't prepared to leave until somebody had stamped my form. I suggested he contact a doctor immediately and get some oxygen on stand by for when I eventually collapsed because I hadn't had my meds.

The result was amazing! A manager appeared almost immediately, looked at my form, picked up a rubber stamp and stamped my form! Just like the ignorant bitch I was saddled with in the first place should have done!

Thanks to this arrogant bitch's attitude problem it nearly three hours to get a form stamped. I was threatened by the wimpiest security guard I have ever seen and generally treated like a piece of dirt.

But they are not going to get away with it. I have already complained to the DLA, the DWP and my MP and even if it takes me the rest of my life I will make sure that the scum who work in Job Centres learn that they are supposed to be there to help people not intimidate them.

Here is a bird.

A little bird

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of crap is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep crap, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Psalm 129

A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand
slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember
Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, 'Go forth and seek , further up , you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.

Travel Guide 1. Wales

Well I have decided to start with Wales simply because Peter has just been having a rant about the Welsh. It is also pretty close which is a big bonus because it makes it easy to get out of when you can't take any more. Because believe me, if you do go to Wales you won't want to stay long.

Well where do we start? The Welsh will tell you the scenery is spectacular and that it is a beautiful place. Maybe it is but it never stops raining long enough to find out. I would describe the scenery as bleak and depressing. even the sheep, which seem to be everywhere, are a dirty off white colour, as if they are covered in coal dust or something. Of course it isn't coal dust because the coal mining industry virtually dissapeared years ago when the miners tried to hold the rest of us to ransom and eventually priced themselves out of work.

As for the weather. Well there is a reason they have so many sheep in Wales. Sheep eat grass and there is plenty of grass. And there is plenty of grass because it never stops raining. The weather in Wales can be summed up in one word. Awful.

The Welsh also have some odd customs. Worrying sheep, for example, is almost their national sport. If you go out in your wellies and aproach a sheep be prepared for it to turn and run, especially if you are a man. They also think they can sing but, as anybody who has ever heard their attempts at singing will testify, they can't. Their singing is quite possibly the only thing worse than their awful accent.

They also have their own nonsensical language that doesn't have any vowels but because 1% of them can actually understand it they use huge amounts of English tax payers money to have all their roadsigns and stuff in Welsh as well as their official language, English.

The North of Wales is probably the worst part. Especially in the summer when it seems to be full of scousers, bought up next to the Mersey, all staring in amazement at rivers that are not dark brown and don't have turds floating along the surface.

The food is bland. The weather is crap, the natives rude, ignorant and unsociable, the scenery is bleak and their idea of a fit bird is that fat bint Charlotte Church. In short this suburb of England has absolutely nothing going for it as a holiday destination and is somewhere best avoided.

I have booked my holiday. Adults Only

Now I know I will definitely have my new car I have booked my holiday. Castonya and I are off to France with our mate Piotr on 16th June. We are going camping in the Loire Valley.

It is an absolute bargain. Seven nights in a tent with proper beds, fridge, cooker etc, our own barbeque outside, free canoe hire and three swimming pools is £231 all in, including the ferry crossing! Including the fuel it will cost us less than £150 each for the week!

Here is a fit bird.

Mitsubishi are useless! Adults Only

After waiting patiently for four weeks, the time I was told it would take to deliver my new car, I rang the dealer today. Apparantly Mitsubishi have some problems and the car wouldn't be available until the end of July. That would be three months since I ordered it!

So I cancelled it. After all if it takes three months build the the thing and ship it from Holland how long would it take to get spare parts for it should it ever need any?

So I went straight down my local Vauxhall dealer and ordered a new Corsa. This will be delivered in about ten to twelve days. It is not as economical but a lot quieter, more comfortable and far better looking. And I can actually get one which is a big improvement on the Mitsubishi!

Here is a fit bird.

Thank you Peter

Well Peter has just put me in charge of our new Travel Guides! Cool, I have never been in charge before. Hope it doesn't go to my head like that gormless Gordon bloke. Or that chancer before him, Billy Liar was it? You know the bloke anyway. The socialist with the six houses and the gobby wife.

I will obviously do my best to make these guides as unbiased and truthful as possible but I will of course be open to bribes, just like the government. Unfortunately, unlike our government, I don't have access to unlimited amounts of tax payers money so I won't be able to visit all these places so will really be basing my observations on what other people have said but then that is exactly how the government makes decisions anyway. After all none of our MP's have ever done a days work in their lives but they tell us what we should be doing.

So I am looking forward to this. Thanks Peter. You can count on me!

Travel Guides.

Apparantly, according to the papers last week, us Brits are pretty poor at geography and most of us can't even point out our foreign holiday destinations on a map let alone know anything about where we are going.

Well the map part is simple. Just go to Multimap or another site like it. But if you want to know more about your destination then just come here. We have decided we will help out and over time Castonya will tell you everything you need to know about foreign countries and their cultures. So watch for this tag; Travel Guides.

They will only be occasional but I am sure you will find them very useful.

The Welsh need a lesson in respect.

On Saturday we had the FA cup final and Cardiff were playing. Which was cool. They deserved to be there. Now the FA cup is an English competition and Cardiff, although a Welsh team, choose to play in it. Every year before the game the British National Anthen is played, God Save the Queen. Now as this is the British National Anthem and not the English anthem this should have sufficed.

But somebody somewhere decided it would be polite or something to play the Welsh anthem as well. So some English supporters booed while it was being played. Mainly because of the god awful noise the so called singer was making. She proved once and for all that the Welsh cannot sing and their attempts are on par with their previous attempts to run a coal mining industry! So when the British anthem was played the Welsh section of the crowd decided to boo! Yes they booed the British National Anthem!

Now last time I looked at the amount of English taxpayers money the Welsh are quite happily pocketing Wales was part of Great Britain. A minor part I admit but a part just the same. But it seems that they are not happy with that. They want to use their ancient language, they want their own government and they want to be independant.

Fine. get on with it. Start by not taking any more of our taxes. Give up your free prescriptions, payed for by the English even though we don't get them. Set up your own health system, education system etc. Police your own borders and set up your own anti terrorist forces. Be independant but do it without our money. While you are getting started we can use some of the billions of pounds we would save by not having you lot poncing off of us to set up our own customs patrols along the Welsh border to stop the hundreds of thousands of starving refugees pouring out of the valleys.

But until that happens you are part of Great Britain, like it or not and when the British National Anthem is played don't disrespect it. Because it is your anthem as well.

Minorities trying to cash in again!

Hopefully something like this can only happen in America, the land of the lawyer, but it seems some black Africans are trying to fill their pockets because of the slave trade and are sueing Lloyds!

The suit, filed in Manhattan’s federal court, seeks just over £1 billion in punitive damages from Lloyd’s, tobacco firm RJ Reynolds and banking group FleetBoston. The suit also seeks unspecified actual damages.

Apparantly they are going to use DNA to prove where they come from but why it should matter is beyond me. Everyone throughout the world knows that the slave trade was wrong. But taking into acount all the following generations there are now millions of descendants of slaves scattered all over the world. Are they all entitled to compensation?

And who is sueing the black Africans who participated in the slave trade? Who is sueing the Arabs who made huge profits from it? What about the Egyptians? Is anybody sueing them for keeping the Israelites as slaves?

Lets face some facts here. Slavery was already well established as a very profitable trade before the white man ever set foot in Africa. We just provided another lucrative market. The leaders of the stronger African tribes could now sell their slaves to the European traders as well as the Arab traders they were already selling to.

If some of the descendants of slaves are not prepared to look to the future rather than the past then why not concentrate on bringing the founders of this barbaric trade to count rather than the next link in the chain? Is it because there is no money to be made in sueing poor black Africans who just happen to be descended from these powerful tribes that started the trade?

Until that happens then any attempt to extract money form any company or corporation who profited from this trade is just an excuse to line the plaintives pockets.

Sometimes. Adults Only

Sometimes when there is a photo of a tasty bit of stuff there is a reason for it. But not very often. Usually they are there just to give us something to look at. Be honest, it's what fit birds are for. To look at.

This is one of those times. This very nice eastern European babe is here just because she looks good.

See how good here.

Meet the staff. Adults Only

Well I am hoping that we are going to be having some new faces looking in on us so I figured it might be a good idea to explain what the site is all about. Which is easier said than done!

Okay firstly lets us introduce ourselves. I am Peter and the guy who was writing earlier is Castonya. We both live in the same head and it's not really powerful enough to let us both out at the same time. So you get one or the other of us. You can usually tell which one of us it is by reading the posts but if you are not sure then look at the labels. We both label our own posts as does our other occasional contributer, Mr Slezy.

Castonya and I have lung cancer, in remission at the moment we think/hope. We also have COPD and Emphazema. We don't do things by halves! Mr Slezy also has COPD but is usually out of breath because he spends half his life looking at porn and using vast quantities of baby oil. We also have a site photographer but the only time he ever had to go out and take any pics he forget his camera so you wont hear much of him.

We have been described as sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, disrespectful to islam, capitalistic, chauvanistic and a whole load of other things that also make us feel very proud. About the only description of our site that we don't agree with is that the search engines say it is adult content. Just because we put pics of fit birds next to the posts doesn't make us an adult site. The Sun does it and that isn't considered adult so why should we be? The only thing you will find here that you won't find in The Sun is the truth.

We are not allowed by law to ban women from coming here. But if we were they would be banned. The same goes for the sexually challenged and the Welsh. But if you belong to one of these groups and insist on coming here then don't blame me if you get offended. But luckily our main hate is socialism, socialists and the god awful mess the socialist scum in charge have made of our country.

So socialists and anybody who ever voted Labour are definitely not welcome. So go somewhere else, preferably a shrink to get help.

Here is a bird.

Lilly Allen Topless.

Lilly who? I hear you ask. Don't worry, I don't know who she is either. But apparantly she sings or something and is supposed to be a celebrity. And we all know what topless celebrities mean don't we? yes, perverts looking for topless pictures of them!

So, in a blatant attempt to get more people coming to the site here we have Lilly Allen topless. That is Lilly Allen flashing her boobs in some sunbathing pics.

I'd do anything.

Google was just watching Andrew LLoyd Webbers's latest free advert on the BBC, I'd do anything. It was down to five and even though the punters, sorry, viewers vote somebody out every week it doesn't actually matter because Andrew LLoyd Webber decides anyway!

Now this isn't as bad as it sounds because if anyone is going to decide which one of two fit birds is going to get kicked out Andrew Lloyd Webber is certainly qualified. He even looks like a dirty old man!

But tonight he told the bird, some foreign bint who can't even spell her own name, Irish I think she was, that she had been kicked out because she was too young. Now I thought ageism was illegal nowdays and that you can't turn someone down for a job, any job, because of their age.

So love, do yourself a favour, find yourself a lawyer and sue him! Apparantly Cherie Blair is skint and could do with a new client and some publicity.

Welcoming Wordpress Viewers.

PMT for men has spread it's wings! As well as being published on Blogger we are now available on Wordpress. So you have a choice of which version you view!

PMT for Men on Blogger.

or

PMT for Men on Wordpress.

So to all you new Wordpress viewers, welcome, I hope you enjoy the site. A little later I will explain what it is all about!

A women in distress.

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them were hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling.... about women drivers; the woman says, 'So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days'. Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.’

The woman continues, 'and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'

The woman replies, 'No, I think I'll just wait for the police....'

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Never Trust A Women in distress!

Are women are slacking in their chores?

I read recently in a newspaper that a new survey out reveals women push an iron 215 miles in their lifetime, and men cover a total of 73. Apparently, the average woman only spends 1 hour and 14 minutes pressing clothes and only covers about 120 yards per week.

Come on girls your slacking! What do you think lads? They should be doing at least 2 hours and 200 yards. After all, us men spend more time giving our right arms some exercise with a pint in the local pub and have to walk further to get to it than that.

It also says that half of the men have ruined garments and a quarter still get their mums to do it for them (which I think is the preferred method, as it frees up the girlfriend/wife for an extra couple of hours in the bedroom). So, I’m sure everyone is in agreement when I say that women should stick to the ironing (they are better at it) and leave things like the driving to the men (they are better at it).

Bob the next door neighbour

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob ,the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says ,

'I'll give you £800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks ,
'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour, ' she replies.

'Great ,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?'

WARNING To All TESCOS Shoppers (please read very carefully)

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get groceries has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works.

Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start wiping your windscreen with a rag and Windowlene , with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Tescos.

You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen April 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th & 24th. Also May 1st, 4th, twice on the 6th, three times just yesterday, and very likely this coming weekend. So tell your friends to be careful.

Come on Slezy

I’m sorry there have been no posts from me lately. (Yes, I’ve had Castonya on my back, moaning as usual) It’s because I’ve been ill. Does anyone notice a pattern here? For those that haven’t noticed, we are all sick on this site.

You see, I am addicted to sex and couldn’t get any. But, I’m on the mend after a vigorous course in Self help. Anyway, I was thinking that I’m one of them
‘Sexually challenged’ that Peter and Castonya keep on about.
I mean having sexual intercourse in my life is Certainly a challenge!

An example; The last female that had the pleasure of my company told me of a secret that she like all other women looked for eight qualities in a man. Brave,Intelligent, Gentle, Polite, Energetic, Non-alcoholic, Industrious, and Self-organised. In short, B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S.

Well, I’ve got all them qualities, but she like all the others was
only around for a week or two. I know I’m doing something wrong. So, any ideas?
Am I missing something?

What do you two think? Do I qualify as ‘sexual challenged’ and if so, How much benefit will I get and does it stack with other benefits? I’m sure there’s something in the human rights act somewhere that
will cover it.

Right, I better get and find some humourous stuff before Peter carries out his threat and stops adding more sites full of gorgeous girls for us to ogle at.

Just for Wolf. Adults Only

Here we have a lovely brunette cutie just for Wolf. I wont tell you why I think he will like her but I am pretty sure he will. Her name is Nicky and she is an Eastern European babe.

Lust over her great body here.

If you work at customs at Heathrow

If you work at customs at Heathrow then take some advice and take the 4th and 25th of September off. Because believe me body searching my mum and Mary will not be a lot of fun!

Booking flights!

This week I had to book flights for google to go to Canada with her sister Mary in September. To get the best deal I went to a flight search engine and then looked up the cheapest and went direct to their websites. See, if you actually book through one of these search sites you are paying them commision usually.

For example, the cheapest I found Air Canada flights were £880. But when I went to Air Canada's site it was £840. So use the flight search sites to find who is the cheapest then book direct! Just a tip there, nothing to do with the story!

Anyway she wanted to fly with Air Canada or BA and as Air Canada were cheaper we tried to book it. So I went to their website and got the prices but because my mum has had a couple of illnesses and may need oxygen on standby on the flight I couldn't book online so rang them instead. Big mistake!

After being passed around five differnt people, where I had to explain everything each time, we got the oxygen sorted. An extra £150, even if she didn't use it. So then I hand the phone over to my mum and she tries to pay. Firstly they want to charge an extra £20 because we are booking by phone and not online. So I go back on the phone and point out that it says quite clearly on their website that if you cannot complete your booking online for any reason then you wont get charged the extra.

"But that means if there is a technical problem" she tells me.

"Well I don't know about you but I consider there not even being a box to tick to add the charge for oxygen a pretty big technical problem" I told her.

And eventually the charge was dropped.

"Your Joking!" is the next thing I hear my mum say.

Over half an hour we had been on the phone to these idiots and when she went to pay they don't take Maestro! This is Nat Wests only debit card, held by around nine million people and they don't take it!

So off we went to British Airways. Who were brilliant! It was all sorted withen ten minutes including arranging a wheel chair each end for my mum. It was £50 dearer but she got her insurance cheaper through them and the flight times were better as well.

The only thing I didn't like with BA was that next to how much luggage can you take it said whatever you like but remember that you are never going to see it again!

Did you hear?

Did you hear about the bloke whose wife left him?

Everytime she asked him to take her somewhere expensive he took her to a petrol station!

Well there I was!

I was sitting here thinking shall I go and annoy people on the site for an hour or not when I got e-mail from Ivan The Terrible. He sent this and sick as it might be I just had to laugh. Cheers Ivan.

Why is the West sending aid to China?

Okay the earthquake in China is a disaster and everything should be done to help the people there. But why are Western Countries donating money?

We keep being told that China is the fastest growing economy in the World. They are now up amongst the richest countries. In order to acheive this they are completely ruining the economies of many countries in the West.

They are flooding the USA and Europe with fake goods, an industry their government turns a blind eye to. Because of the slave labour they employ in their sweat shops they are also able to manufacture goods far cheaper than we can in the West and our undermining our own manufacturing industries.

Why can't they use this wealth to fund the aid effort? Why should taxpayers in the West fund it?

I spoke to Sleazy last week.

I spoke to Mr Sleazy last week, Friday I think it was. he said he was about to post some stuff on the site. But as yet it hasn't arrived!

Now come on Sleazy, I know that the old Telewest Broadband has been slow and generally crap since Virgin Media got hold of it and ruined it but a week to upload a post! That is ridiculous!

A brunette and a corvette. Adults Only

This knickerless brunette babe spreading herself over the red Corvette is Adri.

Power up your grease gun here.

Two babes and some great cars. Adults Only

Here is something we haven't had for a while. A couple of fit birds getting their kit off and posing on some hot cars.

Take a look here.

2000 Free galleries in one place!

Yes, we have extended our portfolio once more and have now put every gallery ever featured on any of our partner sites all on one great site Simply Babes UK.

The other sites will continue to run for the people who just want to browse that particular catergory. But they will also all be added to Simply Babes UK as well so that they can all be found in one place. That is 2000 free galleries already and more added every week. It even has RSS feeds so when your favourite sites update their galleries the links will immediately be in place.

Take a look then tell your friends. Simply Babes UK is simply the best place to find babes on the Internet.

Kaydin in Corfu. Adults Only

Just had news from Corfu. It seems Kaydin has settled in well at Angels Pool and is proving popular with both the residents and tourists in Paleokastritsa. She has sent us the pics to show us just how nice the weather is.

See the full gallery here.

Lindsey Marshal Topless. Adults Only

Well, as promised yesterday, here is another bird out enjoying the sun. This time it is Lindsey Marshal getting her bits out for us. See this full topless teen gallery here.

Like watching paint dry. Adults Only

Did you see the Formula 1 yesterday? Did you stay awake? Yesterday it was from Istanbul and proved once and for all that the only thing good to ever have come out of Turkey was the kebab.

The highlight of yesterdays bore fest was Lewis Hamiltons brilliant strategy! After getting to second by the first corner he went on a three stop strategy that worked so well that after almost two hundred miles of racing he ended up second! Brilliant!

Meanwhile, at Monza in Italy, the World Superbike boys showed what motor racing should be about. There was action on every lap of both races with neither race being decided until the last corner.

Maybe the people in charge of F1 should take note?

Here is a bird.

It's not just the birds. Adults Only

It is not just the birds that this weather brings out. You also get the fair weather bikers out as well and during the next few months you will get to see all manor of weird and wonderful machinery tearing up and down our roads.

Just like this one! See the full babe and a bike gallery here.

Hasn't the weather been great? Adults Only

Hasn't the weather been great lately? Blue skies, nice and sunny and warm as well. And as usual it brought the birds out. To celebrate summer finally being on it's way here is the first of some birds getting their kit off outdoors.

See this cutie stripping for you here.

The minger is back. Adults Only

Once upon a time we used to do a regular feature on this site called minger of the month. Then Cherie Blair won it and we had to end the competition because she didn't have any competition! She really was the ultimate minger!

And now she is back, promoting a book to help pay for the latest addition to her and her husbands socialist property portfolio. And it turns out she didn't like gormless Gordon either!

She didn't have a problem with him taxing the poor to help the rich. That fitted in perfectly with her socialist principles. She didn't have a problem with him raiding pension funds and stealing peoples old age. Again, as a socialist, this was perfectly acceptable.

No, what offended her socialist principles was gormless Gordon freezing MP's pay meaning that her and Billy Liar had to struggle on her £250,000 a year pay packet, her husbands meagre £125,000 and the bottomless expenses fund known as tax payers money.

As a true socialist she struggled to survive on this and has never forgiven gormless Gordon for the hardship he caused her and her family. And I thought all those earning under £16,000 a year who now have to pay more tax had it hard!

Here is a bird.

Anna Friel. Adults Only

Anna Friel has just been voted English TV's most sexiest woman! Are they having a laugh? Have they ever seen this poison dwarf in the flesh? Admittedly it was only viewers of Hallmark, Virgin Media's equivalant of watching paint dry, that voted for her but still!

I once had the misfortune of having Anna Friel as a passenger in my cab and she is definately a minimum ten pinter!

All this poll proves to me is that these new HD TV's are not all they cracked up to be and Spec savers are not doing their job properly.

So forget Anna Friel and look at some pics of a shagable bird instead.

Madonna is in trouble. Adults Only

Just read in the paper that ancient female singer/has been Madonna has got in trouble for swearing live on stage at a concert televised by the BBC. Apparantly one of her boobs nearly popped out as well!

Now I did think of finding some pics of Madonna topless or Madonna naked or even Madonna upskirt. But then I thought why? Apart from a few sick individuals who are into old women why on Earth would any of my readers want to see pictures of an old bird like Madonna?

So I didn't bother. I know what you all come her for. Hot gorgeous babes not old wrinkly celebrities. So here is a much tastier bird than Madonna. Enjoy her here.

Eighteen year old stripper. Adults Only

Well Peter is busy sulking this morning because we still haven't heard about our new car so I am here to entertain you today.

I can see Peter's point. How can it take this long to get a new car, even if they do have to build it. Mitsubishi, like most other car manufacturers, boast about their high tech plants and how quickly a car can be built. So why the delay?

Could it be that the car has to come from Holland so is stuck at the docks waiting for a lorry whose owner can actually afford the diesel needed to deliver it?

Anyway here is a stripper. Enjoy.

At last, a real Mayor of London

As I am sure you are all aware we now have a new Mayor. Despite the advantage barmy Ken had by having the block votes from the muslim temples common sense prevailed and Boris Johnson was elected.

The reaction from the left wing press has been hilarious! They are absolutely crapping themselves and promising doom and gloom. Their main criticism of Boris Johnson seems to be that he is educated!

There is nothing that socialists hate more than educated people. Educated people frighten them because they know that somebody educated usually has some intelligence and common sense and is able to see socialism for what it is. An evil form of dictatorship that makes the rich richer and the poor poorer. A warped ideal that amounts to nothing more than attempting to control people by keeping them in ignorance and poverty.

Unfortunately Boris Johnson is going to have to spend a large part of his time sorting out the problems caused by barmy Ken. But I for one wish him well. Maybe he can help restore London to the great city it once was rather than the violence infested hovel that Ken Livingstone turned it into.

So now the truth is out!

Gormless Gordon went completely against the advice of everybody and yesterday announced that Marijuana will be re-classified form a class C drug to a class B drug. I, like most other intelligent people, could not see any logic in this whatsover. But now the truth is out.

When it was a class C drug people caught in possesion of it could only be cautioned. But as a class B drug they can be given an on the spot tax, sorry fine. And that is exactly what they propose to do. Issue £80 on the spot fines to anyone caught in possesion.

So now we have yet another law that only the poor have to obey and that can be completely ignored by the rich!

If you even thought of voting for Labour sod off somewhere else because you a moron and not welcome here.

Great news from Gormless Gordon!

At last our unelected leader has got something right! He has made cannabis a class B drug again. Thank you Gordon!

All the time it was class C it meant the police could concentrate on nicking the dealers rather than the people smoking it and it was starting to get very difficult to get hold of.

Now the police will be back to filling in countless forms and wasting their time hassling the smokers again, before the courts give them a £50 fine. So the dealers will be left alone and we will all be able to get it again.

So well done Gormless, and thank you again.

Naked brunette and a car. Adults Only

This naked brunette posing with this black car is Lenka. Haven't a clue what the car is and dont realy care!

See the full nude gallery here.

How to fix the Economy. An article by John Stepek.

Last week I talked about what the likely outcome of the housing crash was going to be. And let's make no mistake about it - there will be a housing crash. There's not much that can be done to prevent that now. But what can we do to make a better, more functional economy when we actually start to recover?

Well, let's look at how we ended up here in the first place. Globalisation in the form of ever-cheaper consumer goods from the east has allowed interest rates around the world to stay low, apparently without stoking inflation.

But although inflation didn't show up in consumer prices, it did in the price of assets, such as shares and property.

Asset bubbles
Low interest rates inspired over-confidence and huge risk-taking in the financial sector. Hedge fund managers, investment banks and other financial players borrowed piles of money to bet on markets, and it seemed they could never lose. On the occasions when they did - such as when the dot com bubble burst - the world's central banks stepped in to save them from their own folly.

But now the credit bubble itself has popped. This affects everything in the financial sector, not just house prices. So this is a global problem - it's not limited to the UK or the US. Carelessly invested money has created distortions across the world. But unfortunately for Britain, we are arguably one of the single most vulnerable countries to the credit bubble popping.

The City of London has been our flagship wealth generator. But now the party's over for the City, and all the hedge funds and non-doms are getting itchy feet.

The government is worried that they'll leave and take their taxes and "trickle-down" wealth with them, but the truth is, it doesn't matter as much as you might think. Their earning power has peaked with the credit bubble, so whatever happens, we won't be able to rely on them as a prop for the rest of the economy.

The wider economy
So outside of finance, what have we been doing for the past 10 years?

Well, the Centre for Economics and Business Research compiled some interesting data recently. It showed that between June 1996 and June 2006, 2.9 million extra jobs had been created.

Of these, 1.5 million were in the public sector, while around 300,000 came from hotels and restaurants, 350,000 from construction and nearly 500,000 in retail and distribution.

In other words, more than half of the extra employees in the workforce in the past 10 years are directly employed by the government. The lion's share of the new jobs in the private sector involve building houses and selling things to one another, all of which is directly dependent on the property boom.

So we have a vast swathe of state employees, all being paid for by a private sector dependent mainly on creative financing, and the resale of cheap goods from China - not to mention a great deal of government borrowing.

That equals an extremely unbalanced economy. The only way to get the UK as it stands back on its feet would be to re-inflate the credit bubble. But for one thing, that seems almost impossible - the banks are now licking their wounds and won't be ready to lend as manically for many years. And for another, it would only postpone the final reckoning, and make it even worse.

How to fix it
What we need to do is get our economy back into some sort of balance.

Roger Bootle of Capital Economics argues that manufacturing needs to come back to the fore. "We needed the borrowing binge because we were not earning enough from abroad to pay our way. Exports have been well below imports."

And there's a good reason for that - over the same 10 years, we've lost roughly one million jobs in manufacturing.

So how do we sort this out? Bootle argues for lower interest rates, as a way to devalue sterling, and thus make our exports more attractive.

It's not a bad argument, but it risks stoking inflation. There's also the problem that with demand for goods likely to slow across the world, we're also trying to sell into a weakening market, at a time when we're not exactly known for our manufacturing prowess.

As James Dyson, inventor of the eponymous vacuum cleaner, has pointed out: "If Britain wants to be more than a mere trading partner, we need to create exciting and useful products and technology." But unfortunately, the country is "facing a chronic shortage of engineers."

This is something we could address over time, but our education system has been hamstrung by a government so desperate to rig attainment statistics that subjects like media studies are regarded as important as fundamental, difficult subjects like maths and science.

So to my mind, if we really want to rebalance our economy, there's one crucial thing we really need to do. We need to put the government back in its box.

What needs to change in Westminster?
Typically, the more input a government has into an economy, the less productive it becomes. And that makes the economy less adaptable and responsive to change. Which is a problem when you come to a massive turning point, as is happening now.

Over the past 10 years, government spending as a proportion of gross domestic product has risen from below 40% to 44%, at a time when it has been falling in most European countries.

Effectively, the government has said that it knows how to spend our money better than we do.

Meanwhile, our tax system changes every five minutes, creating loopholes, which lead to more laws to close them down, which in turn create even more loopholes, to the point where Tolley's Yellow Tax Handbook has almost doubled in size in the past seven years. And the latest U-turn on the 10p tax band will make the arcane system of tax credits even more complicated and prone to fraud.

But as long as house prices have been rising, and jobs have been abundant, we've been happy to ignore the government's increasing role in our lives, and the amount of money that it's spent in the past decade.

Change coming
The good news is that with recession looming and public sector workers across the UK on strike or planning strikes, we'll relearn the folly of trusting the government with our money.

What needs to happen is a retreat from central planning in favour of locally-made decisions - letting head teachers run their own schools and set their own agendas and giving parents a genuine choice as to which school they send their kids, for example.

There should also be a mass cull of all the pointless bureaucratic middle-management jobs, and unskilled pseudo-jobs (like community support officers, instead of proper police) that have sprung up throughout the public sector.

Is tax the answer?
If the banks won't lend, then there is another way to get money into hard-pressed consumers' pockets - tax cuts. Remember them?

Now that people are getting poorer and paying more attention to their wage slips, they might just realise how much money the government is getting from them every month. When times are hard, the idea of paying high taxes for low-quality public services will become a lot less acceptable.

The bad news is that finding a group of politicians ready and willing to genuinely reduce the role of government - effectively relinquishing some of their power - won't be as easy.

But as voters we still have some power left. If enough of us demand smaller government, they'll listen. I'd suggest that a good start is to write to your local MP, and to his or her opponents. There's no silver bullet for the mess we're in - but it's a start.

Read more from John Stepek here.

One reason only. Adults Only

This drop dead gorgeous babe is on here for one reason only. To show you what you are missing if you don't visit our partner sites. We now get content from over twenty different suppliers including world famous sites like Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler.

Take a good look at this cutie here.

Brunette and a BMW. Adults Only

Here is something I know you all enjoy, a bird and a car. Just too bad that the car is a BMW. But I suppose we could consider it our latest effort for the sexually challened community.

The bird is Cassia Riley, a Penthouse Pet.

Take a good look at her chassis here.

This should be illegal.

Worshippers at a Muslim shrine in Western India have been dropping babies from a tower for good luck. The "good luck babies" are thrown from a height of 50ft on to a cloth sheet in a bizarre ritual that is thought to bring them good health.

Baby dropping has taken place at the shrine in Solapur, in the state of Maharastra, for over 500 years. It also takes place on special days in other parts of the country.

The ritual is practised by couples who are blessed with a child after taking a vow at the Baba Sheikh Umar Saheb Dargah or temple. Locals claim there have been no accidents and children thrown from the tower do not suffer from any physical disability.

The ritual is observed by both Muslims and Hindus every year.

Personally I think it should be illegal. They should ban the cloth sheet!

Come on you blues.

No, I am not talking about Chelsea, although seeing Liverpool get their just desserts last night was very satisfying. I am talking about the Conservatives. If this country is to have any future at all we need Boris Johnson to win the Mayoral election and the Conservatives to give Labour a good pasting in all the local elections.

Labour have proved that they cannot be trusted with anything at all. Immigration, education, taxes, crime, you name it and it has got worse under Labour. The rich have got richer, the poor have got poorer. Labour have been responsible for slaughtering thousands of people in filthy hospitals while Ken Livingstone's traffic policies have been killing off motorists.

The English are now discriminated against as a matter of course and Labour's open door policy on immigration is responsible for bringing back diseases such as TB to this country that we eradicated year ago. Immigrants, especially the economic variety from Eastern Europe are bringing their families here and using resources that even a life time of paying income tax could never pay for.

While private companies increase their profits by using cheap workers from abroad British people are forced out of work and onto benefits meaning even higher taxes for everyone. Labour have single handedly managed to change one of the best countries in the world into a dirty, violent, crime ridden land that a large number of Englishman are ashamed to call home.

If you vote Labour today I hope you get mugged on the way home.