After the ark

After the Great Flood when Mr and Ms Noah (we don't know for sure if they were married or merely co-habiting) had been adrift in the Ark for a week or two Mr Noah approached his wife in some trepidation:

"Darling", he said with a perplexed frown, "There's a problem I simply can't keep from you any longer and it's getting worse."
"Oh my..." replied Ms/Mrs Noah. "What ever is it?"
Mr Noah blushed and cleared his throat:
"It's the animals, dearest."
"Are they sick?"
"No, they're all well"
"Are they hungry?"
"No, they all have plenty of food."
"Are the dogs fighting with the cats again?"
"No, my dearest one, peace reigns supreme in the sanctuary of the Lord."
"Then what's the matter?"
"Haven't you noticed that the ark is listing a bit lately?"
"Well, now you mention it, I had noticed a slight lean to port, but I thought it was just the wind."
"No, it's not wind, dear, although the problem IS connected with wind..."
"Whatever do you mean? Don't talk in riddles, Noah!"
"Sorry, my sweet. It's the - ahem, er -um, waste products."
"Waste products?"
"Yes, you know, waste. Animals produce waste."
"If you mean shit why not say shit, Noah!"
Noah nodded. "Yes, it's the - the, er, shit, dear. I'm afraid that's what's making the ark list to port..."
"Well why don't you distribute it equally between port and starboard?"
"What a brilliant idea!" So Noah did as his wife suggested, but a week later he came to her again looking even more worried than before.

"What is it now, dear?"
"I'm afraid there's no more room on either side of the Ark for the er..um...shit.
"Well pile it in the front and back then!" said Mrs/Ms Noah brusquely. "Really, I have no idea why the Lord chose you. Your brain is like the four-headed man-eating Elephant Fish of Mount Ararat."
"In what way, dear?"
"It doesn't exist."

"Noah did as his wife told him but within another week he was back again
"I suppose you're going to tell me you've run out of places to store the shit?"
"I'm afraid so", Said Mr Noah.

Mrs Noah's face turned purple and she slapped her husband.
"Well -THROW THE FUCKING SHIT OVER THE SIDE WHY DON'T YOU!!!"
Noah did as she asked and 1,764 years later Christopher Columbus discovered it and called it AMERICA.