The Benefit Boys are off on holiday.

Yes, Friday morning, Peter and I plus Sleazy and his new bitch Gerald are off on holiday. Sleazy calls him Jerry for short because he keeps him under his bed but that's a different story. He is actually our cousin but we try to keep it quiet.

We are off to sunny Devon on a cheap Sun Scum holiday, three nights in Paignton then four nights in Brixham. There is a rock and roll weekend at the first site which Mr Sleazy is all exited about. He was going to wear a quiff but couldn't find a wig big enough. He also has the hump because I just had to explain to him that with four of us in the car there is only room for one case of baby oil.

We have lots of stuff planned. We are going on a steam train, going to play crazy golf and going to play real golf. And when I say real golf thats what I mean, the proper stuff on a Playstation, none of that walking round for hours in the rain carrying a big bag of clubs like the amateurs do!

This of course means that the site wont get updated next week.

Meet the staff. Adults Only

Well I am hoping that we are going to be having some new faces looking in on us so I figured it might be a good idea to explain what the site is all about. Which is easier said than done!

Okay firstly lets us introduce ourselves. I am Peter and the guy who was writing earlier is Castonya. We both live in the same head and it's not really powerful enough to let us both out at the same time. So you get one or the other of us. You can usually tell which one of us it is by reading the posts but if you are not sure then look at the labels. We both label our own posts as does our other occasional contributer, Mr Slezy.

Castonya and I have lung cancer, in remission at the moment we think/hope. We also have COPD and Emphazema. We don't do things by halves! Mr Slezy also has COPD but is usually out of breath because he spends half his life looking at porn and using vast quantities of baby oil. We also have a site photographer but the only time he ever had to go out and take any pics he forget his camera so you wont hear much of him.

We have been described as sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, disrespectful to islam, capitalistic, chauvanistic and a whole load of other things that also make us feel very proud. About the only description of our site that we don't agree with is that the search engines say it is adult content. Just because we put pics of fit birds next to the posts doesn't make us an adult site. The Sun does it and that isn't considered adult so why should we be? The only thing you will find here that you won't find in The Sun is the truth.

We are not allowed by law to ban women from coming here. But if we were they would be banned. The same goes for the sexually challenged and the Welsh. But if you belong to one of these groups and insist on coming here then don't blame me if you get offended. But luckily our main hate is socialism, socialists and the god awful mess the socialist scum in charge have made of our country.

So socialists and anybody who ever voted Labour are definitely not welcome. So go somewhere else, preferably a shrink to get help.

Here is a bird.

The truth about Tibet. Adults Only

All this week the daily papers have been falling over themselves to tell us how many people have been killed in the riots in Tibet. Well here we have the true figure. The number of people actually killed in the rioting is ten.

The rest have been killed by mercenaries hired by our newspapers so that they can win the fight to report the highest number killed. Everytime the Mirror reports a number a squad hired by the Sun kill a few more so they can report a higher number! And vice versa.

So stayed tuned to PMT for Men, the site that always tells the truth!

Here is a bird.