Jeremy Clarkson gets it right again.

Now this chemotherapy and all the pills I am taking has played havoc with my bowels and I just found out I have run out of koran paper. So in desperation I turned to the next best thing, the Daily Mirror. I was just about to finish the paper work when one of their "news stories" caught my eye. They were slagging off Jeremy Clarkson because he described gormless Gordon as a one eyed, Scottish idiot.

Now as gormless Gordon only has one eye, is Scottish and proves he is an idiot every time he opens his mouth then that description is far more accurate than the one the Daily Mirror used, "our PM" After all he can hardly be "our PM" when "we" didn't get to vote for him can he?

GMTV viewers get an early Christmas present!

Now personally I cannot for the life of me work out why anybody would get up early in the morning and turn the TV on unless there was motor racing or football on. But some people do.

One of the programs they watch is an inane bunch of crap called GMTV which is famous for having the most irritating, hypocritcal bitch ever to disgrace our screens presenting the show. I am talking about champagne socialist Fiona Phillips.

This stupid woman claims she is just an "ordinary housewife and mother", despite being having made millions for doing almost nothing. She is also a big New Labour fan and in her newspaper column keeps on about how good they have been for this country. Well yes if you happen to be rich then maybe they have but what about the millions of us who are not and have to live in the real world Fiona? Where do we fit in?

The funniest thing was the newspaper reports. The vast majority of them correctly stated she had been doing the show for twelve years. The Mirror was the exception, they said fifteen, which is a bit surprising because The Mirror is the paper she also works for! You would have thought that they would have got it right wouldn't you?

But anyway she finally has so much money tucked away that she can never spend it so has decided to leave in December giving her colleagues and all the viewers an early Christmas present.

Now if she would only give up the drivel that passes for a column in The Mirror then we could all join in the celebrations.

The truth about Tibet. Adults Only

All this week the daily papers have been falling over themselves to tell us how many people have been killed in the riots in Tibet. Well here we have the true figure. The number of people actually killed in the rioting is ten.

The rest have been killed by mercenaries hired by our newspapers so that they can win the fight to report the highest number killed. Everytime the Mirror reports a number a squad hired by the Sun kill a few more so they can report a higher number! And vice versa.

So stayed tuned to PMT for Men, the site that always tells the truth!

Here is a bird.