Teen Little Black Dress. Bronze Medal. Adults Only

In the teen catergory of the little black dress competition third place and the bronze medal goes to Judy in a dress so short that you can see everything when she sits down. See her full entry here.

Lilly Allen lets her boobs fall out.

This is so called celebrity Lilly Allen letting it all hang out. Yes thats right Lilly Allen showing her nipples in public, Lilly Allen flashing her boobs, Lilly Allen nipple slip, Liily Allen topless or Lilly Allen showing her tits, whatever you want to call it.

The season has started!

No I am not talking about the football season or anything as trivial as that. This is something far more important, the North American Racing Leagues Saturday season where 31 blokes from around the world meet up online on a Saturday night and race extremely fast cars.

This season we are racing Australian V8's on the same tracks they race in the real thing. Huge heavy overpowered saloons with no traction control and no anti lock brakes thundering around a variety of circuits.

Qualifying was at nine thirty, half an hour to get a fast lap in and get a good place on the grid. Or that is the idea anyway. Within ten minutes I gave up! The slowest of the others was over a second quicker than my personal best! So 750 practice laps, over 2000 miles of Adelaide street circuit and where was I on the grid? Last!

So while the others all jostled to get the best starting position I concentrated on the essentials. Pain killers because two hours without a break hurts! A revved up Rothman to relax me, nicotine chewing gum and water at the ready for the pit stops.

Happily I managed to do a bit better in the race than I did in qualifying and dripping with sweat and completely knackered I managed to finish 20th which I am quite happy with.

And thanks to Mr Wolf I had a gorgeous bird to hold my helmet for me!

Best baby oil competiton cancelled!

We are sorry to say that the best looking bird covered with baby oil event has had to be cancelled because of the world wide shortage caused when Mr Slezy found out about this alternative olympics and went out and stocked up.

But I suppose he needs something to do because he hasn't exactly done a lot on here lately has he?

Unmodified Denim Mini Skirt. Gold Medal. Adults Only

And the winner of the Unmodified Denim Mini Skirt gold medal is the very lovely Candice. Rumours that she won the medal because she "forgot" to wear any knickers are completely true!

See what earned her the gold medal here in this full free photo gallery.

Unmodified Denim Mini Skirt. Silver Medal. Adults Only

Here in the silver medal position we have eighteen year old Kandie in a classic style denim mini skirt. See her full entry here.

Unmodified Denim Mini Skirt. Bronze Medal. Adults Only

The first of the mini skirt finals has been decided and in bronze position in the Unmodified Denim Mini Skirt competition is Symbia. See her full entry here.

Freestyle Denim Shorts. Gold Medal. Adults Only

And the winner of the freestyle denim shorts gold medal was the very lovely Krissi.

Check out the superb performance that earned her the gold medal here.

Freestyle Denim Shorts. Silver Medal. Adults Only

Here, in a heavily modified pair of denim shorts, we have silver medal winner Rachel.

Check out her top ass performance here.

Freestyle Denim Shorts. Bronze Medal. Adults Only

The freestyle denim shorts competition allows the contestants a free reign to customise their denim shorts as they see fit.

The winner of the bronze medal in this competition was Cassandra. See her performance here.

Worlds Biggest Minger. Gold, Silver and Bronze.

In the alternative olympics it really doesn't matter what country the contestants represent. With the New Taxes Party's open imigration policy they will all end up here living on benefits anyway. But there was one competition that the Chinese thought they were guaranteed to win.

Having founded the Ming Dynasty, from which the word minger came, they fully expected to win all the medals. But us Brits had an ace up our sleeves. yes, we entered Cherie Blair, wife of Billy Liar, and she cleaned up, winning Gold, Silver and Bronze!

In fact Cherie Blair is just so ugly, big mouthed, obnoxious, hypocritical, selfish and downright awful that as soon as they knew she was entered all the others pulled out knowing that they had no chance.

So Gold, Silver and Bronze medals in the biggest Minger competition all go to professional money grabber Cherie Blair!

Best naked buttocks.Gold medal. Adults Only

And the winner of the gold medal in the best naked buttocks competition is the gorgeous Selene. This babe really does have a great bum. See her full free competition entry here.

Best naked buttocks. Silver medal. Adults Only

And here is the silver medal winner of the best naked buttocks competition, the very lovely Darina. See her full competition entry here.

Best naked buttocks. Bronze medal. Adults Only

While the athletes at the real olympics have been enjoying a pre games love in and walking around in their olympic uniforms here at the alternative olympics we have got straight into the action.

Here is Victoria, bronze medal winner in the best naked buttocks competition.

Warming up. Adults Only

To get our alnerative olympics coverage under way here we have Russian contestant Ksusha limbering up. I dont actually know what events she is entered for and to be honest I dont care. Any babe who can get her legs that far apart is fine by me.

Take a look at this hot contestent limbering up here in this full naked olympic gallery.

Welcome to the alternative Olympics.

Good evening. I am Castonya, reporting live from Mortlake where the worlds first alternative Olympics is being held. I am the sole judge and all the descisions are made by me, the results decided by me and the bribes spent by me. Anyone who doesn't like that can complain to somebody who gives a damn.

We have a whole host of events lined up and will be awarding bronze, silver and imitation gold medals. The gold medals have to be imiatation because gormless Gordon sold off our gold reserves at a cut price years ago when he first took charge of ruining our economy.

The events list hasn't yet been finalised because Peter just sprung this on me at the last minute. But I am sure you will enjoy the entertainment we have lined up for you.

The Alternative Olympics.

Anybody who has switched onto BBC1 today can hardly be unaware that the Olympic games has now started. After what seemed like a life time of an extremely boring opening ceremony we now have four weeks of sport to look forward to. There will also, as usual, be plenty of non sports featured as well.

You see to me sport is when peo[ple compete against each other and one of them ends up the winner. But in the modern Olympics there are loads of non sports where the winner is determined by a panel of judges, diving, sycronised swimming, gymkana, gymnastics etc etc.

So these events are not won by the best participant. they are won by the best participant in the judges opinion, which makes them light entertainment and not sports. And of course these judges are wide open to political persuassion and bribary, just like our government are.

But it gave me an idea. If the Olympics is going to include light entertainment rather than real sport then why don't we at PMT do our own alternative Olympics?

So we are going to and Castonya is going to be the judge and award all the medals. I hope you all enjoy it.

Last one for now. Adults Only

One of the good things about New Labours anti education policy is that as there are more students there are also more fit birds desperate for money and willing to get them out for the boys to fund the five years of poncing they intend doing at university.

Which means we get to see hot babes like Milli here flashing their bits for us.

More students than ever. Adults Only

This year there will be more students than ever before. Why? Simple really, eleven years of a Labour government. A third of kids reach school leaving age unable to read and write so have no choice but to stay on because they are unemployable. This is a deliberate policy by Labour because after eleven years of them ruining the economy and wasting billions of pounds of tax payers money there would be no work for them anyway.

Not only that but any work that is available is all going to Eastern Europeans prepared to do it cash in hand and for very little wages. So it is hardly suprising that the student polulation is on the increase.

Here is blonde babe Gabriella modelling her new uniform.

Michelle in Uniform. Adults Only

This college girl modelling next years uniform is Michelle. See what she will be wearing underneath it here in this full free topless college girl in uniform photo gallery.

Back to sixth form college. Adults Only

Here we have another bird too thick to have got her education at school and far too lazy to work posing in her new sixth form college uniform. See the full free blonde college babe gallery here.

Back to college. Adults Only

All those lazy gits too lazy to work are now half way through their summer holidays and are starting to think about what to wear when they go back to college or University. Yes I am talking about students.

This year, as we do every year, we are featuring some of the tastiest of these leaches wearing the latest in college uniforms, just so you can spot them in the street and avoid them like the plague.

Our first model in a uniform is Corina. Take a good look at this free college girl gallery here.

A classic Mustang. Adults Only

Well it seems like Playboy is the place to go to see photo's of classic cars. here we have a Mustang. Once more it has a fit bird draped all over it, this time Chelse Medley.

Take a look at them both here.

A classic Thunderbird. Adults Only

Here we have a beautiful car. A white Ford Thunderbird to be exact, more usually known as a T-Bird. It also happens to have Playboy's Jaimie Lee draped all over it which I can assure you is nothing more than a convenient coincidence.

To see more of this lovely car and hot brunette in stockings take a look here.

What planet is Gormless Gordon on?

As you are probably aware Britain is in the middle of what the newspapers call a cretit crunch and what I call a greed crunch. Whatever you decide to call it the reason for it is very simple. For the past few years house prices have been rising and people have been buying up houses purely to let them out at extortionate rates to those not able to buy their own houses.

They have used the money they have extorted from their tenants, and money they have borrowed on the strength of the future values of their properties, to live beyond their means, take fancy holidays and buy expensive cars. This created a false economic boom that has now collapsed and these people are now crying because they can't afford to pay back the money they have borrowed.

While these greedy bastards have been living the high life their unfortunate tenants have got poorer by the year, along with anybody else who doesn't own their own property.

But instead of leaving them to it, letting them sell their houses at a loss, letting the price of houses drop down to a sensible level, the unelected dick head in charge, gormless Gordon, has decided to help them out and temporarily suspended stamp duty. Why? These people are getting what they deserve for their greed and selfishness. How about helping the victims of their greed instead?

If house prices fall through the floor then more people will be able to afford to buy them, genuine people who want to actually live in them rather than condemn others to a life of poverty. Rents will fall, the tenants will have more money to spend and we will have a genuine economic recovery rather than another false one.

But that is far too simple for somebody as stupid as Brown to grasp. he would rather bail out the rich and then tax the poor at a later date to get the money back. This man is scum pure and simple and the sooner he goes the better.

Some girls. Adults Only

We go through hundreds of galleries of woman trying to find the right ones to grace our sites. It takes time and is a real pain. Can you imagine just sitting for hours at a time doing nothing but looking at half naked birds?

Now and again we find one that doesn't fit any of the catergories but is just so gorgeous that we have to put her somewhere. If she is an old bird, over twenty, then she goes on Simply Babes. However if she is eighteen or nineteen then she goes on the very aptly named Simply Cute.

To see more of nineteen year old Loora then click here.

To see the very best eighteen and nineteen year old tottie on the Internet then visit Simply Cute.

To see the best of the birds over twenty then visit Simply Babes.

The perfect computer set up.

Are drugs now legal?

Are drugs now legal? I am only asking because for what seems like months the papers have been reporting on "The Worlds fastest Junkie conpetition" I am refering of course to the Tour de France, the only race in the world where evry year without fail the winner gets disqualified for taking drugs!

And coming up soon is the Olympics, where the only winners who dont get disqualified for taking banned drugs are the ones who dont get tested.

And all the while these junkies are making a good living out of taking illegal substances the police are going round handing out on the spot tax summonses to people in possesion of marijuana.

Then every week you will find at least one so called celebrity pictured in the newspapers snorting or shooting up their drug of choice knowing they wont get prosecuted because despite a grainy photo of your car number plate being enough to prove you guilty of a motoring offence a full length high quality video with sound isn't enough to prosecute these celebrities.

The easiest places to buy heroine and crack cocaine are government run institutions like prisons and detention centres and every posh bar and restaurant in London allows coke to be snorted in the toilets.

So are drugs illegal or not?

Peaches Geldorf Upskirt. Slapper of the week!

Not content with taking an overdose to try and get some publicity celebrity junkie Peaches Geldorf has now been flashing her knickers at the photographers to try and get in the papers.

Well I dont know if she actually made it to the papers with her upskirt antics but she has made this weeks slapper of the week. Congratulations Peaches.

So, for all of you who like that sort of thing, here is an upskirt pic of Peaches Geldorf flashing her bum and panties.

Getting them out for the boys. Adults Only

Of course now that it is warmer you get all the birds going straight out for a drink, getting pissed and then indulging in a hobby a lot of them seem to have called "Getting them out for the boys"

And to cater for all of you who likes to see a bird get them out we have our very own breast site called Perfect Puppies. Here you will find boobs of all shapes and sizes all proudly displayed for you to have a good ogle at.

To take a better look at Leannes puppies click here.

To see lots more galleries of birds with their tits out then visit Perfect Puppies.

Leaving a little to the imagination. Adults Only

Now while it is all very well catching a flash of a gash or looking at a naked woman sometimes it's best when the ladies leave a little bit to the imagination. Our imagination that is, we all know women don't have any imagination. It's one of the genes they don't posses, along with common sense, a sense of humour and the ability to drive.

So for those of you who like that sort of thing we have yet another site especially for you. Perfect Panties features nothing but birds in panties and lingerie, just like Madison here.

To see more of Maddison flashing her knickers then take a look here. It is worth it believe me!

To see lots more babes in panties and lingerie then visit Perfect Panties.

The best summer sport. Adults Only

There are many sports that are really only popular, or playable, in the summer and most of them, tennis, cricket etc are the nearest thing you will find to watching paint dry.

But there is one sport, playable all year round but far more interesting in the summer, that everyone can take part in and enjoy. It's called blimping. Spotting women flashing their knickers, accidently or otherwise, sometimes if you are lucky their snatches and of course their boobs. A flash of any sort will always put a smile on your face but to me the best are the upskirt ones.

Which is why we have a site dedicated to just that, women flashing their knickers and snatches, Simply Upskirt. To see an endless supply of upskirt photo galleries visit Simply Upskirt.

To see what blonde babe Desiree is wearing under her skirt then take a look here.

I see summer has finally arrived. Adults Only

Well it looks like summer is finally here judging by the amount of half naked women I have been seeing on the streets lately. Obviously it wont last long so while it is here make the most of it.

We have been neglecting you lot a bit lately because we have been concentrating on the other sites, the ones that make money. If we had to rely on you lot we would never get a holiday!

For those of you who havent seen the other sites, and in a blatant attempt to make more money, I am going to give you a little taster of what they have to offer.

To start with we have Simply Babes. This site features nothing but fine babes with their kit off flashing their bits. Just like Lisa here.

To see more of Lisa just click here.

To see lots more birds like her then click here.

Quasimodo and Esmerelda. Adults Only

Quasimodo is lying on the floor outside Notre Dame. His arms and legs are broken and he is bleeding everywhere, obviously very near death. He looks up to see Esmerelda standing at the top of the tower.

"You bitch" he shouts with his last breath. "Thats not what I meant when I said toss me off!"

Here is a fit bird.

A Tax on turning left.

I live in what used to be called the Royal Borough of Richmond Upon Thames that is now more commonly known as the NIMBY borough. This area is full of women driving their four by fours two hundred yards to take their kids to school before using another gallon of petrol to stop off at the recycling bins on their way to a save the planet coffee morning. From there they use another gallon of fuel to get to the anti aircraft noise meeting before driving to pick their kids up from school and then jumping on a jet for a weekend away because it is just sooo convenient living so close to the airport.

Most of these brainless bimbo's have never done a days work in their lives, have no idea of what happens in the real world and the only decision they ever have to make is what colour knickers to wear with their new dress. They have now idea about politics so rather than strain their limited supply of brain cells when it comes to voting they opt for the easy option and vote for a party with no policies. The Liberals.

This means that I live in a borough with a Liberal controlled council who waste tax payers money at such a rapid rate that they are always looking for new ways to get more.

Their latest tax scam is unbelievable and I am sure it won't be long before other boroughs catch on and start using it as well.

Outside Twickenham Station there is a bus lane on London Road. You can't turn left at the main junction anymore, haven't been able to for years, so you have to turn left at the end of the bus lane. At the top of the bridge is sign telling you this and a huge white arrow painted in the road directing you into the bus lane. Behind the sign telling you which lane to be in to turn left and after the arrow directing you into the bus lane they have now put a camera so when you follow the road markings and do as they say you now get nicked for driving in the bus lane!

When you appeal against what is quite obviously a completely ridiculous situation they automatically reject it and you have no choice but to pay up or go to a tribunal. Of course most people just pay the fine and the council end up quids in.

They know that you haven't commited any offence. They know that their signage is illegal and they know that all they are basically doing is blackmailing people. But they also know that people will just pay up so they do it anyway.

It is a complete scandal and nothing more than legalised theft and a perfect example of what you can all expect if the Loony Liberals ever get into power in your area.

Saving money at the cost of lives. Adults Only

Another major problem that the NHS has is that to save money, so there is plenty left to fund ridiculous stuff like IVF treatment for people too selfish to adopt, the NHS stopped employing cleaners and handed it all over to private contractors.

These contractors pay minimum wages, often use illegal immigrants and the result is that our hospitals are now so dirty that over four thousand people a year day from infections they caught in hospital.

It could easily be resolved of course. All they would need to do is get rid of all the admin staff who spend most of their time doing nothing and use the money saved to employ their own cleaners and pay them a decent wage. When I was in Hammersmith hospital somebody came round twice a day to inspect the ward and see if it was clean. That was twice a day more than any cleaners came. If they swapped these penpushers clipboards for a bucket and mop then maybe a lot of these deaths could be prevented.

Here is another nurse.

A perfect example. Adults Only

A perfect example of the main problem with the NHS was a few yaers back when world famous minger and millionaire Cherie Blair went into hospital and had her baby on the NHS.

Now this money grabbing piece of scum could quite easily of paid for her treatment but good socialist that she is she would rather deprive poor people of urgently needed treatment than put her hand in her pocket and pay for something she could easily afford.

Here is another underpaid nurse.

Sixty years of the NHS. Adults Only

As you may have realised the NHS, the system that is funded by poor peoples taxes so that the rich can recieve free health care, is sixty years old. We have decided to join in the celebrations and feature some of the sexiest nurses.

Luckily for us our unelected leader thinks that admin staff and other pen pushers deserve more money than the nurses who actually do most of the work and pays them a pittance meaning that more and more of them are getting their kit off to make ends meet.

So here is a nurse.

Cheryl Burke Upskirt.

Here is yet another so called celebrity I have never heard of showing off her panties in some upskirt pics. So if you want to see Cherly Burke flashing her black panties then you have come to the right place.

Cute brunette in leather. Adults Only

Here we have a nice looking brunette babe in leather stripping and revealing all just for us. See all of the pics here.

To see more hot babes stripping visit our sister site Simply Strippers.

Yet another complaint. Adults Only

Just had yet another complaint. Apparantly I am sexist, racist, homophobic and the sites are demeaning to women. Well done love, you finally got the point! How long did it take you?

Here is a nice set of demeaning pics just for you!

Meeting our obligations. Adults Only

Just realised it has been ages since we did anything for the sexually challenged community. I am surprised the thought police have not been round to remind me. I wonder how long it will be before not catering for homosexuals carries an on the spot fine?

Anyway, just for all you homosexuals out there here are a couple of fit birds getting at it.

Watch them here.

Kaydin has a friend. Adults Only

Apparantly Kaydin has made a good friend in Corfu, a babe named Carmen. She sent these pictures of her just in case we wanted to have a look. And as she has gone to all that trouble just for us I guess we should take a look.

So here is the very lovely Carmen getting naked. Enjoy her here.

Kaydin in Corfu. Adults Only

Kaydin has just got in touch from Corfu. She is having a great time working there and has sent these pics just so we don't forget her. How kind!

Take a look here.

To see more of her and stunning babes just like her take a look at Simply Cute.

Solving knife crime. Adults Only

While the newspapers, polticians and do gooders waffle on about educating the animals carrying knives I have the perfect solution to knife crime.

Get two Hells Angels and put them in a room with a baseball bat each. Then send these animals in one at a time. I guarantee that afterwards they will never carry a knife again. Then send in the social workers and do gooders and I guarantee they will never try to inflict their warped left wing views upon the rest of us again.

Preventing a recurrence of the problem is also very easy. Ninety percent of these animals carrying knives are immigrants. So seal our borders and ban immigration and the problem can't come back.

Problem solved.

Here is a bird.

Victoria Silvstedt.

Well I still don't know who Victoria Silvstedt is or what she does but she is famous for something and enjoys flashing her knickers in public. So here we have Victoria Silvstedt in a pair of see through panties flashing her gash and her pubes. Thats right all you celebrity lovers, Victoria Silvstedt in upskirt photos showing her pussy. Come and get it.

For all you older women.

Some advice for Gormless Gordon

Hope the weather improves. Adults Only

Well as I think I mentioned we are off on holiday again on Saturday, to Penzance in Cornwall. Mr Slezy is coming with us so there will be nobody to mind the site. Not that it matters because the lazy sod hasn't done anything for ages anyway.

At the moment the weather down there is terrible and shows little sign of improving. But I am sure we will have fun anyway.

In the meantime here is something to take your minds off of the lousy weather. See more of this hot babe here.

My letter to the parking office in Clacton

Penalty Charge number TG50403735

Dear Sir/Madam

It seems that I am guilty of the heinous crime of being disabled 24 hours a day seven days week instead of at the convenience of Tendering council and I did indeed park in a disabled bay 15 minutes before the permitted time.

Could you please extend my apologies to any of the hundreds of lorry drivers who were trying to deliver at 15.45 on Good Friday and whom I may have delayed by parking in the deserted road. Please assure them I have asked my doctors if they have a magic pill to make my cancer disappear at will and they are working on it so I won’t hold them up again in future.

The fine of £60, which strangely enough is exactly the same as somebody in full time employment, able bodied and parking in a disabled bay without a badge would get, is almost two thirds of my total weekly income and I quite obviously cannot afford to pay it all in one go. So please find enclosed six post dated cheques for £10 each.

Of course my illness is terminal so I may actually die before the last couple are honoured but that is a chance you will just have to take. Think of it as a free entry into a lottery!

When I get depressed about dying I think of people like you whose only purpose in life is to make as many people as miserable as possible and suddenly a terminal illness doesn’t seem such a bad thing anymore.

Thanks for your understanding.

Peter McClarnon