Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Dear Deirdre
Going through some old newspapers I found in the attic the other day I came across this in an agony common. I thought I would share it with you.
Dear Deirdre
I am becoming increasingly worried about my son. Despite having a good education, something of a rarity these days, the only things he seems to be any good at are lying, cheating and distorting facts and he seems to have no sense of decency and very few morals. My husband tells me not to worry, that there are many jobs open to people like this nowadays. I am not so sure and would value your opinion.
Dear Mrs Blair
Your husband is quite right, you need not worry at all. The ability to lie through your teeth is now considered a positive asset in many careers. The trick is to work out just which fields in the art of lying and cheating that your son excels in.
Is he sporting minded at all? Some sports, professional football for example, pay very good money for someone athletic who also has the ability to con a referee. Some clubs, Manchester United in particular, base their entire teams around someone with this ability and over the past years have won many trophies purely on their players ability to dive in the penalty area and convince the officials they have been fouled.
Does he have a good imagination as well? If so the advertising industry is another good career choice for a compulsive liar. This self serving industry exists for the sole purpose of parting honest hard working people from their money in order to line their own pockets. If your son has the gift of presenting something in a false light and inventing false claims about it this could be the career for him. If he also has no morals at all and considers it acceptable to take a huge salary for promoting a product while the people who actually make it live in poverty then I suggest he gets in touch with a company such as Nike.
Combining a sporting career with a career in advertising is especially lucrative. Not only can you earn a huge salary, up to £75,000 a week, it is also possible to earn several million pounds a year you could never possibly spend promoting products you would never use yourself. Providing you don't have any morals at all this is a great career choice.
Can young Tony keep a straight face when he is lying? If so the legal profession could be a good choice. The Human Rights industry in particular is always on the look out for people with very few morals who can lie convincingly enough to fleece the public and obtain obscene amounts of compensation for criminals. As this industry is funded by legal aid, provided from a bottomless pit known as Tax Payers Money, the rewards are huge.
Then there is the Road Safety industry. With new technologies evolving everyday the opportunities for a good liar are almost unlimited. Take speed cameras for example. The potential for making money from these safety devices has still to be fully tapped. Some people estimate that by the year 2004 these cameras will be raking in millions of pounds a year. This industry is desperately seeking people who can convince the public that because one person is killed by a speeding motorist for roughly every 12,000 million miles driven in the UK that we need cameras every 100 yards.
Of course, if young Tony has an exceptional talent for deception then the ultimate career choice must be Politics. Politicians are people who have mastered the art of lying and deception and have no use for morals whatsoever. They also name their own wages, set their own expenses and if they fall foul of the law simply change it to suit their own needs.
It can also be a very demanding job. Thinking up excuses for taking peoples hard earned money from them in taxes is not as easy as it sounds. Thinking up a reasonable sounding excuse for the majority of people having to retire into poverty while you yourself have used their money to make sure your future is secure can also be a bit tricky. A politician however does have a whole army of people employed by tax payers to think up reasons for them which does make the job a bit easier.
All in all though being a politician, especially an MP, is the ideal choice for someone morally corrupt with a talent for deception. The wages are good, the expense account even better and best of all if you get caught out lying it doesn't matter. You also get given countless freebies, especially useful if you have an ambitious wife who is a bit frugal with money. If Tony can convince people he is lying just because his lips are moving then this is the career for him. I would suggest he contacts the labour party. I have it on good authority they will be looking for a new leader soon.
Deirdre.
Dear Deirdre
I am becoming increasingly worried about my son. Despite having a good education, something of a rarity these days, the only things he seems to be any good at are lying, cheating and distorting facts and he seems to have no sense of decency and very few morals. My husband tells me not to worry, that there are many jobs open to people like this nowadays. I am not so sure and would value your opinion.
Dear Mrs Blair
Your husband is quite right, you need not worry at all. The ability to lie through your teeth is now considered a positive asset in many careers. The trick is to work out just which fields in the art of lying and cheating that your son excels in.
Is he sporting minded at all? Some sports, professional football for example, pay very good money for someone athletic who also has the ability to con a referee. Some clubs, Manchester United in particular, base their entire teams around someone with this ability and over the past years have won many trophies purely on their players ability to dive in the penalty area and convince the officials they have been fouled.
Does he have a good imagination as well? If so the advertising industry is another good career choice for a compulsive liar. This self serving industry exists for the sole purpose of parting honest hard working people from their money in order to line their own pockets. If your son has the gift of presenting something in a false light and inventing false claims about it this could be the career for him. If he also has no morals at all and considers it acceptable to take a huge salary for promoting a product while the people who actually make it live in poverty then I suggest he gets in touch with a company such as Nike.
Combining a sporting career with a career in advertising is especially lucrative. Not only can you earn a huge salary, up to £75,000 a week, it is also possible to earn several million pounds a year you could never possibly spend promoting products you would never use yourself. Providing you don't have any morals at all this is a great career choice.
Can young Tony keep a straight face when he is lying? If so the legal profession could be a good choice. The Human Rights industry in particular is always on the look out for people with very few morals who can lie convincingly enough to fleece the public and obtain obscene amounts of compensation for criminals. As this industry is funded by legal aid, provided from a bottomless pit known as Tax Payers Money, the rewards are huge.
Then there is the Road Safety industry. With new technologies evolving everyday the opportunities for a good liar are almost unlimited. Take speed cameras for example. The potential for making money from these safety devices has still to be fully tapped. Some people estimate that by the year 2004 these cameras will be raking in millions of pounds a year. This industry is desperately seeking people who can convince the public that because one person is killed by a speeding motorist for roughly every 12,000 million miles driven in the UK that we need cameras every 100 yards.
Of course, if young Tony has an exceptional talent for deception then the ultimate career choice must be Politics. Politicians are people who have mastered the art of lying and deception and have no use for morals whatsoever. They also name their own wages, set their own expenses and if they fall foul of the law simply change it to suit their own needs.
It can also be a very demanding job. Thinking up excuses for taking peoples hard earned money from them in taxes is not as easy as it sounds. Thinking up a reasonable sounding excuse for the majority of people having to retire into poverty while you yourself have used their money to make sure your future is secure can also be a bit tricky. A politician however does have a whole army of people employed by tax payers to think up reasons for them which does make the job a bit easier.
All in all though being a politician, especially an MP, is the ideal choice for someone morally corrupt with a talent for deception. The wages are good, the expense account even better and best of all if you get caught out lying it doesn't matter. You also get given countless freebies, especially useful if you have an ambitious wife who is a bit frugal with money. If Tony can convince people he is lying just because his lips are moving then this is the career for him. I would suggest he contacts the labour party. I have it on good authority they will be looking for a new leader soon.
Deirdre.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Amber on a Harley. Adults only
Well after all those pics of naked woman I thought I'd better put a couple of pics of nice bikes in as well. So here they are, a lovely looking Harley straddled by a lovely looking blonde. What more could you want. Click here to see the full set.
Charlotte church topless again
This is the topless pic of Charlotte church that supposedly came from her boyfriends mobile phone. Personally I think it's a fake. Firstly her tits are not that big and definately look a lot firmer in the topless bikini pics below. Secondly the neck doesn't look right. It looks like somebody has just put Charlottes head on a pic of somebody else's body. Either way it's another pair of puppies to look at.
Charlotte Church Topless
Well apparantly these pics are one of the hottest things on the Internet at the moment. A set of pics that show Charlotte Church topless. If you want to see the full size pics for free just follow the link.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Babes in the wood.Adult only
Just take a look at these two gorgeous creatures. Then when you have finished drawling go take a look at the gallery. You will not believe the quality of the photo's!
Natural Beauty
Do you like to look at pics of naked women? I thought you might! Well take a look at this babe, she is gorgeous.
English Amateur Elle. Adults Only
This gorgeous babe is Elle, a genuine English Amateur model with a real hot body. Just follow the link to see her reveal every inch of her smooth bare flesh.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Post Your Girls. Adults Only
Ever wanted to see your friend or bosses wife naked and showing it all for the camera? Well if it's ever going to happen the chances are the pics will be here. This site shows only reader submitted pics of wives and girlfriends and it is all free! Go take a look but only if you are over 18.
Andrea:Adults Only
Well this weeks Topless Tottie is the lovely Andrea. What a pair of puppies she has! To see more of this lovely babe just follow the link but be warned, its for adults only!
After the honeymoon
A couple has returned from their honeymoon and it was obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom's best man takes him aside and asks what's wrong.
"Well," replied the man "when we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom, I put a £50 note on the pillow without thinking."
"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!"
The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over this though: She gave me £20 change!''
"Well," replied the man "when we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom, I put a £50 note on the pillow without thinking."
"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!"
The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over this though: She gave me £20 change!''
The Blind Man
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit.
He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts.
Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts.
Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
Kate Moss shows a nipple
For some reason Kate Moss is one of the most searched for models on the Internet at the moment. So who am I to argue? Here is a photo of Kate Moss showing one of her nipples. For more pics just follow the link!
Tuning Linx
Tuning Linx is a site with hundreds of links to cat tuning sites. They have verything you could ever need for your car. Plus hundreds of photos of some of the hottest cars on the road, with some hot babes thrown in for good measure! Take a look at their site and enjoy!
Superbikes and Babes
Well this is another must see site for all you bikers out there. Some fantastic looking bikes and some real horny babes. If you are into either girls or bikes then go and take a look. If you are not into either then what are you doing here?
Car Babes
The lovely Amy, pictured below, is just one of the gorgeous girls featured on this fantastic site. Called Car Babes it features, would you believe, cars and babes. It has some fantastic pics so if you fancy seeing much more of the lovely Amy, or any of the other gorgeous girls, go and take a look at this great site.
I am back
Sorry the site hasn't been updated lately but I have been a bit pushed for time and have been concentrating on my other site Simply Babes.
But now I am back and will be updating whenever I get the chance, once more giving you the best jokes, the hottest babes and some great cars and bikes.
But now I am back and will be updating whenever I get the chance, once more giving you the best jokes, the hottest babes and some great cars and bikes.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Tara Reid and Paris Hilton
Tara Reid and Paris Hilton were out partying this week, and Tara Reid got seriously drunk, flashing her knickers and falling over. Here are the pics to prove it, plus a couple of Tara in a bikini to show that she can sometimes be demure!
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
The Daily Mirror
A few weeks ago I published a post saying it was the first time I had ever agreed with the Daily Mirror. Since then I have had a couple of e-mails asking why I do not usually agree with them. So I thought I would try and explain.
You see you have to understand how the Daily Mirror came into existence in the first place. Back in the old days the poor in this country used to have a job for life, cheap rented accommodation, were taxed fairly, enjoyed a smoke and a drink and in general were a happy bunch. Crime was quite low and it was mainly the rich, or banks, post offices etc who suffered the consequences of crime.
Well one day, a bunch of socialists were sitting in their mansion drinking champagne and one of them remarked on what a disgrace it was.
“Poor people shouldn’t enjoy themselves!” he remarked. “If they get used to having a good life, they will start wanting an education and so forth. They will start getting ideas above their station. They will start to think they can be like us! I am all for everyone being equal and all that but surely this doesn’t apply to the poor?”
And so the Labour party was born. Using their association with the Trade Union movement these work shy layabouts quickly planned a strategy for putting the situation right. They decided to get the unions to demand unrealistic pay and conditions and set about getting themselves elected into government so they could introduce high taxes. They figured that if half the poor were out of work and the other half were taxed unmercifully then the poor would soon be just where they wanted them. Destitute.
However their main priority was getting their message across. They needed people to vote for them so their plan would work Of course nobody with any sort of education was going to vote for them and the poor were still badly educated so they needed the poor to vote for them. But how do you convince the people you are going to suppress that it’s a good idea? Well, in true socialist style they decided to tell them lies.
In order to do this they needed to communicate with the poor and they thought long and hard and consumed several cases of champagne before one of them had a brain wave.
“The poor spend so much money enjoying themselves that they cannot afford toilet paper” he told his friends. “They use newspaper. So why don’t we publish our own newspaper, then when they are sitting on the toilet they can read what we have to say”
And so the Daily Mirror was born. A piece of socialist propaganda, full of blatant lies and half truths and only just about fit to wipe your arse with.
You see you have to understand how the Daily Mirror came into existence in the first place. Back in the old days the poor in this country used to have a job for life, cheap rented accommodation, were taxed fairly, enjoyed a smoke and a drink and in general were a happy bunch. Crime was quite low and it was mainly the rich, or banks, post offices etc who suffered the consequences of crime.
Well one day, a bunch of socialists were sitting in their mansion drinking champagne and one of them remarked on what a disgrace it was.
“Poor people shouldn’t enjoy themselves!” he remarked. “If they get used to having a good life, they will start wanting an education and so forth. They will start getting ideas above their station. They will start to think they can be like us! I am all for everyone being equal and all that but surely this doesn’t apply to the poor?”
And so the Labour party was born. Using their association with the Trade Union movement these work shy layabouts quickly planned a strategy for putting the situation right. They decided to get the unions to demand unrealistic pay and conditions and set about getting themselves elected into government so they could introduce high taxes. They figured that if half the poor were out of work and the other half were taxed unmercifully then the poor would soon be just where they wanted them. Destitute.
However their main priority was getting their message across. They needed people to vote for them so their plan would work Of course nobody with any sort of education was going to vote for them and the poor were still badly educated so they needed the poor to vote for them. But how do you convince the people you are going to suppress that it’s a good idea? Well, in true socialist style they decided to tell them lies.
In order to do this they needed to communicate with the poor and they thought long and hard and consumed several cases of champagne before one of them had a brain wave.
“The poor spend so much money enjoying themselves that they cannot afford toilet paper” he told his friends. “They use newspaper. So why don’t we publish our own newspaper, then when they are sitting on the toilet they can read what we have to say”
And so the Daily Mirror was born. A piece of socialist propaganda, full of blatant lies and half truths and only just about fit to wipe your arse with.
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