Before. Adults Only

Before all you redhead lovers start complaining I have found this one just for you. her name is Kendall and she is one fine babe. Take a close look here.

People have been complaining. Adults Only

Some people are never satisfied. I work my fingers to the bone trying to find fit birds for your entertainment and what do I get for my troubles? Complaints! People are moaning because I haven't been putting enough blondes on here!

So, for all you moaning gits out there, here are two for you to have a look at.

Take a look here.

Latest Global warming excuse.

By now we should all be used to the feeble reasons that the green wellie brigade keep coming up with in an effort to convince us all these new taxes are really to save the planet. But the latest one is unbelievable.

They are now saying that because we are killing too many sharks it is causing global warming! And if the floods, the famine, a meteor from out of space or an illegal immigrant with a machetee doesn't get us then this will!

"Sharks are apex predators and, as such, play a pivotal role in regulating ocean ecosystems. Oceans, which cover more than seven tenths of the Earth’s surface, harbour algae; via the process of photosynthesis, algae remove vast quantities of CO2 from the atmosphere and produce most of the oxygen we breathe.

Without sharks to prey on them, the creatures that feast on algae will increase exponentially in number, potentially wiping out what is perhaps, according to climate expert Sir James Lovelock, the single most important cooling element on Earth."

So stand by for a new tax on fishing, just in case you catch a shark by mistake!

Food for thought.

A comparison between chimpanzees and homo sapiens.
By the appropriately named Cheeta the chimp.


So who evolved first?

Men spend their whole lives trying not to grow up, but they always do in the end.
Us chimps don’t (as mans own research has shown).

Us chimps have a faster eye to hand response time, greater short term and probably long term memory than you humans (again as shown by mans own research)

We can pick our noses, wank, scratch our arses and shag any female that happens to walk past, all without anyone batting an eyelid.
Can a man do this?

We live at the tops of the trees, so nobody pisses on us from a great height.
How about you humans?
Do you think its always rain when you get wet walking thru the trees where we live?

Some of us live amongst you humans, and the difference on who’s smarter is very pronounced.
Humans work hard everyday to keep themselves fed, housed and healthy.
Us chimps don’t (we’ve got humans to do that for us).
We don’t have to go looking for entertainment either (humans supply that as well), we have a great laugh watching all you humans parading past our windows, we call it HV (Human vision).

Then of course there is mans so called greatest achievement, getting off the planet into outer space.
Well, I think you’ll find that one of us chimps beat you humans to that, and guess who got to do all the hard work for us?
Yep you’ve got it, Man.

Gordon Brown Responds.

After the Australian Prime ministers statement on immigrants Gordon Brown has decided to respond. Here is his statement in full.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown – Great Britian

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out and riot, as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off an indigenous plot to defend the country’s outdated laws.

Separately, Brown angered some British Christians on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's churches. Quote: 'NATIVES, NOT IMMIGRANTS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending our national culture. Since the terrorist attacks on London, we have experienced a surge in politically correctism brought about by the majority of Immigrants.'

'This culture has been developed over twenty centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought our freedom to change'.

'We speak mainly ENGLISH, but Spanish, Polish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Hindu, Russian, or any other language will do. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, you must be multi-cultured and bi-lingual'.

'Most Natives believe in a Christian God. This is some Christian, right wing, political push, and a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, supposedly founded this nation, and this clearly has to change. It is certainly not appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If you believe in a Christian God, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because we do not need a Christian God as part of our culture.'

'We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept our benefits, health and housing without the need to work or contribute and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.'

'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done changing, Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, and Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great British freedom,

'To invite the rest of your family.'

'If you are an indigenous person and aren't happy here then LEAVE. We don’t force you to stay here. You didn’t asked to born be here after all.
Costa del Sol in Spain will accept you.'

Lovely hair. Adults Only

When I am updating my sites I have to go through hundreds of galleries of naked and half naked women trying to find the ones that people will look at and pay money to see more of. It is not easy! Some of them are complete dogs and get dismissed straight away, others stand out for different reasons.

Nina here caught my eye because of her hair. And her body isn't too terrible either!

Take a look here.

I know not why

But for some reason Kate Moss is todays most searched for bird. Luckily this slapper is so stoned out of her head on coke most of the time that there are plenty of revealing pics of her about. So if you are looking to see kate Moss topless, Kate Moss knickerless or Kate Moss flashing her gash you have come to the right place. The only question is why would you want to see any of that? She is a minger!

We need a leader like this!

Prime Minister John Howard - Australia

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote: 'IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.'

'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom'

'We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society .. Learn the language!'

'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.'

'We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.'

'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom,

'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'.'

'If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.'

Now can you imagine one of our spineless politicians getting up and saying something like this? But it is exactly what they should be saying! So come on everybody, write to your MP and ask why they are not saying it. It is our country and we have rights as well!

I'm off again. Adults Only

I just can't help it. everytime i look at a bird in a bikini I start thinking about Corfu. I am hoping to go again the first week in June but it seems so far away! So i just keep looking at these pictures and dreaming! See the lovely Lia here.

Had a phone call. Adults Only

I had a phone call from a blonde friend of mine the other day (Hi Bright Blonde). She had bought a new jigsaw puzzle but couldn't get any of the pieces to fit. The puzzle, when finished was supposed to be a Tiger but she was almost in tears when she was telling me that she couldn't get started.

So, being the kind sort of guy I am, I went over to give her a hand. I took one look and felt so sorry for her! So while she made the coffee I started putting the frosties back in the box!

Here is a cute blonde.

A blonde and a car. Adults Only

Well it must be catch up time this morning because here is something else we haven't had in a long time, a blonde draped over a car. See all the pics here.

Strippers are like buses. Adults Only

It seems that strippers are just like buses. You don't get any for ages then two come along together! This one is the very lovely Denisa. See just how lovely here.

We haven't had a stripper for a while. Adults Only

It has been a long long time since we featured a stripper on here. Too long in fact. So here we have the lovely Emma getting her kit off just for us. How kind of her! See the rest of her here.

You may have wondered. Adults Only

You may have wondered what happened in our search for a new secretary. As you know we had plenty of applicants and everything was going perfectly until it came to the interviews. The silly bitches wanted paying! Can you believe it? The opportunity to work here at the worlds number one web site and they wanted paying as well!

But we have left the advert running anyway because they keep sending us such lovely photo's! Here is the latest.

Angelina Jolie

The next searched for bird after Jessica Alba is Paris Hilton but I didn't fancy looking for pictures of a dog so I have moved on to third place, Angelina Jolie. Now this is a bird I have heard of for four reasons. Her tits, her total lack of acting ability and her rather strange hobby of collecting children of all different nationalities for her own private collection. And she is also bisexual which will keep the sexualy challenged brigade happy for a while.

Once more I looked for Angelina Jolie topless, Angelina Jolie upskirt, Angelina Jolie naked and even Angelina Jolie and Jessica Alba in a lesbian sex session. but no luck so here is a normal pic.

Jessica Alba

For some reason Jessica Alba is currently the most searched for bird on the Internet. Once more I have never heard of her but she is easy on the eye so I figure why not post some pics and get a few more perverts, sorry visitors, here.

I tried to find pictures of Jessica Alba topless, Jessica Alba flashing her knickers, Jessica Alba nipple slips and Jessica Alba upskirt. But no luck. But I did find Jessica Alba in stockings and Jessica Alba in a bikini.

Continuing. Adults only

To continue with todays babe fest we have hot eighteen year old brunette Carmen showing us her fit body. See all of the pics here.

First candidate for the death penalty, Ken Livingstone. Adults Only

The headline on the front page of the Sun today is that 99% of people want the death penalty bought back. One of the things people want it intorduced for is serial killers, so I thought I would nominate some candidates.

Well firstly we have to start with Ken Livingstone, a mass murderer that has killed far more Londoners than Jack the Ripper ever did. This is the man who is responsible for the increase in London's traffic, the man who deliberately set out to cause as much traffic as possible so he could introduce a tax to try and reduce it and make some of his friends rich in the process.

Now just for a minute lets leave aside how many people died or became seriously ill from the extra pollution he caused. Because there is a far more serious side effect of his murderous policies to consider.

The biggest killer on our roads is tiredness. That is a proven fact. It's why there are signs up and down our motorways warning us about it. Yet this weasel of a man took it upon himself to have traffic lights re-phased and introduce ridiculously low speed limits with one purpose in mind. To increase journey times for car drivers and try to drive them out of their cars.

How many people has this killed? How many people have fallen asllep on their way home from work and had an accident purely because this idiot has increased their jouney times?

And given how well publicised it has been that tiredness while driving kills he must have been aware that people would die because of his policies. Which makes it premeditated murder, pure and simple.

So lets start by hanging Barmy Ken, and doing London and the world a favour.

Here is a bird.

The usual. Adults Only

Here we have the usual bit for the fairies. A couple of dykes getting at it. I hate to put these pics on because of how much it offends all you straights out there but the law is the law.

See all the pics here.

Apologies. Adults Only

i am going to apologise in advance because i think this update is going to turn into a bit of a babe fest. And I know how much you all hate it when we feature all these gorgeous half naked women.

But it is Monday morning, I didn't sleep well and I can't be bothered to get serious. So you will just have to put up with the crumpet. Or go somewhere else, your choice.

This is Klunia.

Alex Curren flashes her panties.

Alex Curren? No I have never heard of her either. But she is supposed to be famous and we all know what famous people flashing their knickers means don't we? Yes, more visitors! So here we have Alex Curren flashing her black see through panties.

Heather Mills McCartney Naked.

Once upon a time the old slapper that the worlds tightest man, Paul McCartney, married had two legs. She also used to be a porn model and wasn't averse to flashing her gash for the cash.

So, just so you can all see what a slapper this bird is, here are a couple of pictures of Heather Mills McCartney, naked, with no clothes, flashing her bits.

Flag this site

Thats what it says on a little button at the top of this screen. Basically what it means is report this site for objectional material. And if google agree then you have to delete it or else. But who decideds what is objectional and what isn't? I find fat birds in mini skirts objectional. Does that mean we should delete them all?

And what about Gordon Brown and Tony Blair? I would have had them deleted years ago if I had known I could just delete anything I found objectional! Now flagging something and reporting it because it is illegal I can agree with to a certain extent. Nobody in their right mind wants to see child porn for instance. But reporting it because you don't agree with it? What happened to free speach?

And more importantly, why are Google encouraging this? Are they being paid to like they were in China?

I succumbed

Unfortunately I succumbed to the lovely smelling food in Harringay, and now have what my mum would call the back door trots, what the uncouth would call the shits and what I prefer to call the islams. I am so glad I didn't have the chilli sauce! To make things worse we have ran out of koran's and they didn't deliver the Daily Mirror today. So I am running round the flat searching for the last Labour party manifesto that I know I have here somewhere.

Have you ever been to Harringey?

You know, that dodgy place in North London? Well, despite every instinct telling me not to I have visited it a couple of times lately. What a place! The main High Street, known as Green Lanes, has a food shop every ten yards. You can get food poisening from every country in the world except England for less than three quid!

But I really do have difficulty making myself understood there. I couldn't work it out at first but then it came to me. It is my accent! Most of them have never heard anybody with an English accent before!

I have just been reading the comments

Underneath every post on the site is a link for you to make any comments on what we have had to say. Some people actually bother to use it! Take a look at some of the comments. We have some strange readers! Davy C who has his very own money making machine, sorry, political party, a couple of clowns educated under new labour that write in a language I have never come across before, a self confessed terrorist (welcome Mr Mandela)and some character called Mr Ezy who I can only assume has spent his life smoking too many drugs!

What a country we live in! Adults Only

Today I should be at the Royal Marsden hospital in Chelsea to see a specialist about my lung cancer. But I have had to cancel it and be transferred to yet another different hospital. Why? Because getting there by pubic transport means lots of walking that neither I nor my mum are fit enough to do and because it is impossible to park.

You see the Borough of Kensington and Chelsea do not recognise the European wide blue badge disabled parking scheme. Which means while residents bays sit empty while people are at work disabled people cannot park in them without their car being towed away. Or on yellow lines.

So I can drive to Amsterdam and legally park outside a brothel. I can drive to Athens and park outside a Taverna. But I cannot drive to a specialist cancer hospital four miles from my home and park while I get the treatment I need to save my life.

What a country!

Here is a bird.

Another week, another load of crap from Labour

Yes, it is only Monday and already our government is making itself look stupid.

Firstly kids learning languages will no longer actually have to be able to read or write in that language to pass an exam! Apparantly it is too stressful for the poor loves. So if a company needs somebody who can speak Spanish for a position in Spain they face the prospect of employing somebody who has both O and A levels in Spanish but doesn't actually understand a word of it!

Then comes the latest idea for terror suspects. Asbo's! Yes Gordon Brown wants to fight terrorism with the same system that allows uncontrolable youths to terrorise our streets. All I can assume is that this is a desperate attemp to try and win muslim votes. Because if he was trying to win English votes instead of Asbo's he would be using internment camps.

I have a business idea

I have decided to start my own business. Firstly I will ask people to give me their money and charge them for the priviledge. If they give me enough I will pay them a tiny sum in interest to make them feel they are getting something out of it. I will then take their money and lend it to other people and charge them a high amount of interest. The difference between the two sums I will put into my pocket.

Should the people giving me their money make the slightest mistake I will charge them a fortune for it and should the people I have leant the money to delay the repayments in any way I will charge them a fortune as well. If I make a mistake I will blame it on a computer error and will not be held responsible under any circumstances.

Once I have their money I will issue people with little plastic cards so they can have access to it. Rather than use a unigue form of identification like a signature I will use something like a four digit pin number instead. Yes this will make things far easeier for criminals but it will be cheaper for me and increase my profits. Plus, despite me being in possesion of their money, I will make the safety of it their own responsibility so why should I care?

If, even with everything weighted in my favour, I completely mess it up I will get the government to return everybodys money and walk away with a few million pounds in my own pocket.

I am going to call this business banking and name my company Northern Rock. Do you think this will be legal or will people recognise it for the scam it is?

I told you I would get it!

Yes, finally I have found it. The uncensored Jemima Khan upskirt pic! Yes Jemima Khan flashing her beaver, Jemima Khan knickerless upskirt pic uncensored. Aren't I good to you?

Keeley Hawes

There was a new program started on TV the other night, Ashes to Ashes or something like that. A follow up to Life on Mars and a total load of crap. But the bird in it isn't too hard to look at.

So here are some pics of her. We have Keeley Hawes naked except for her stockings and suspenders. Keeley Hawes in lesbian action and Keeley Hawes showing her stocking tops.

Jemima Khan goes commando.

Jemima Khan has been at it again, flashing her gash as she climbs out of a limo. And, as usual when a so called celebrity exposes herself we have the pics. Or pic in this case. I would love to say I have an uncensored pic of Jemime Khan flashing her pussy but I don't. Just this censored one. But I am working on it. Watch this space.

Something for the Homosexuals, again! Adults Only

Before Peter went off into his own little world he left me a note telling me not to forget to do something for the homosexual community. Homosexual Community? What on Earth is that all about? I remember when they used to be queers, queens, poofs, sausage jockies, faggots etc!

But of course they then became an official minority and all the rules changed! They now have more rights then the rest of us who are vainly shagging our brains out trying to make sure the human race survives. Because if they have their way and we all turn homosexual then where are the kids going to come from?

And now, because they are an official minority they are having the rules changed to suit them, as minorities always do. One of the first things Tony Blair did was make it legal to bugger sixteen year old boys in a public toilet. That was a law we all wanted introduced wasn't it? And strangely enough I didn't hear them boasting about it in their election campaign at the time.

But how does this affect us? I can hear you asking. Well what it means is that every now and again, just to keep the thought police off our backs, we have to do something for the homosexuals.

So here are a couple of dykes.

A failed experiment. Adults Only

I was reading somewhere, or one of us was, that England is rapidly becoming mixed race. All the different nationalities are breeding together and creating a new race, innit.

Now I am not so sure this is a good idea. It was experimented with and failed hundreds of years ago when we let the Welsh and the Irish mate.

We ended up with a whole tribe of people with ginger hair who cant speak a word of English and have a habbit of removing the wheels from anything capable of moving. We called them scousers and we even set up their own city for them and called it Liverpool. This came from the old Celtic word Liver that meant dodgy gene.

And do you think the ungrateful bastards will stay there? This is a whole breed of people that in any normal society would be segregated from the rest of us but letting them have their own space instead isn't enough for them! They want to inflict themselves on the rest of us!

If the Beatles weren't bad enough they also gave us Cilla Black and Ken Dodd! What did we do to deserve that? And their accent! Give them their due they do try to speak English but they are not very good at it and what ends up coming out of their mouths is an insult to the English language and extremely bad for your ears.

So when we get elected I am going to get Peter to take away their education budget. What is the point of trying to teach them anything when after all these years they haven't yet mastered the English language? It's a total waste of money.

Here is a bird.

That Peter makes me die! Adults Only

I am pretty sure that Peter should see a shrink. He honestly thinks that people come here to listen to him spout on about the government and what he will do when he runs the country! Poor man is deluded!

People come here for three reasons. To read what I have to say, to look at the crumpet and by mistake. But now I have the problem of trying to keep him safely locked away somewhere. How on Earth will I manage that?

Here is a bird to exercise with while I think about it.

Sunday was a record day! Adults Only

Yes, today, Sunday the something of February 2008 was a record day for this site. We had over 500 visitors! In one day! Amazing! That is 500 potential voters.

So what I have to do now is keep them coming back somehow. Which means keeping Castonya safely locked away somewhere. How on earth will I manage that?

Here is a bird to look at while I think about it.

My advert on Plenty of Fish

WHO SANG THIS?

I ain't exactly what you'd call a lady's man,
Sometimes I have to give myself a helping hand or two,
But understand me baby do, that don't mean I don't love you,
I'm just sitting here watching all the pretty girls go by.

The first lady to get it right, and small enough to fit into the front of a Ford Scorpio wins herself a day out in the country and a meal at a pub in one of the most picturesqe villages in England!

Firstlt let me say how nice it is to be on a dating site run by a man. With a name like Plenty of Fish I am guessing it has to be!

I am a slim single guy, 47, grammer school education living in West London, ex biker who enjoys a drink now and again. Looking for an intelligent fun lady for days out, weekends away and holidays abroad. I love driving and love music, mainly rock. A lady who is happy singing at the top of her voice to Meatloaf and rock classics in the car would be ideal! I also like to write and I am in the middle of a course in journalism and have a regular column in a magazine.

I also have lung cancer, have just finished my treatment and have no idea yet if it worked. So if you are looking for something long term I might not be the ideal choice!

I think Paleokastritsa in Corfu is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. I was there in May and it rained and within minutes the flowers all came into bloom. Amazing! It's a bit like Cornwall but with decent weather and locals who speak English!

Age and looks are really not that important as long as you are friendly, have a good sense of humour, can hold a conversation and enjoy a good laugh. To be honest once i take my glasses off i am going my memory anyway. So as long as all your bits are in the right places then all is well. Apart from Motor racing, bike racing, West Ham and England, I don't watch TV and much prefer to listen to music.

Because of the cancer, and the fact that I'm an ugly git, I am ideally looking for friends. Unless there is somone out there whose eyesite isn't too clever and is willing to take a chance that one good shag wont kill me! And if we meet and you intend taking advanatge of me let me know so I remember to bring my inhalers!

But I have to warn you. I have absolutely no sense of humour at all!

LATEST NEWS: Have just renewed my passport so people north of Watford now welcome to get in touch.

It is also now politically correct to call you women birds. I just saw an advert on TV that says that once a month you get wings!

The dating site I joined

The dating site I joined is definately run by a man. You just have to look at the name. It's called Plenty of Fish!

Bashing the Bishop. Adults Only

Got an e-mail from cousin Ian this morning, aka Mr Ezy. He said it was Bash the Bishop day! Said The Sun had started a campaign! Now because it was his birthday and he has been stockpiling the baby oil again I figured it was wishful thinking on his part. I thought it was just a birthday wish, his favourite hobby legitamised!

But no! It was true! I couldn't believe it! There on the front page of The Sun it said, in huge letters, Bash the Bishop!

So I had to go straight back to bed. I mean who I am I to argue with Rupert Murdoch? This is a man who was born in the worlds first open prison and ended up the biggest criminal of the lot.

Two coughing fits later I made a cup of coffee and read the article. Mr Ezy had got it wrong! It wasn't anything to do with our sex lives, it was all about that god botherer in charge of one of the richest businesses in the land trying to justify his job by coming out with crap about sharia law, just to remind us all he is there.

The last thing the muslims want in this country is sharia law! They would be in big trouble! Fiddle their benefits and it would be theft. Bang, off comes their hand. Rip off a punter in their cab. Off comes the other hand. Short change you in a shop. Same result. Half the muslim population would be disabled!

The muslim population are quite happy with English law. The law that lets them come here, not learn our language, not bother intergrating, allows them to build mosques where they can slag our country and our values off to their hearts content. The law that stops us deporting the illegals amongst them and not only allows them to commit bigamy but also pays for the keep of their wives!

It's the English who want sharia law bought in. Because the English version is clearly not working.

Here is a bird.

The difference between Peter and I. Adults Only

Been thinking about the difference between Peter and myself. He wants to run the country because he wants to sort it out and all that. Which is cool but a bit boring. Me, I want to run the country because I want access to that red button!

I have always wanted to see a mushroom cloud! Could you imagine what one must look like nowdays, on digital HD TV, with surround sound so you can hear all the screaming! Wicked! And imagine the money that could be made! If you had your finger on the button and knew you were going to do it then you could get all the copyright sewn up in advance. Kill enough people and they will be showing it for years to come. The profit would be enormous!

The first thing I would do is sort out the middle east. Just nuke the lot of them. Then split what is left of it up between all the major oil companies. Okay it would cause some pollution and there would be a shortage of oranges, camels and mini cab drivers for a while but be honest what else is there in the middle east to worry about? As long as we have the oil what else matters?

So that is my first policy. Hope you all agree with it.

Now here is a bird.

Is anymore proof needed?

Today four back bench Labour MP's are being disciplined and face maybe being kicked out of the Labour Party. What was there crime? They sided with the Conservatives in demanding that Labour honour their manifesto pledge to give us a referendum on the EU constitution.

In other words they didn't do what they were told by Gordon Brown and put the wants and needs of their constituents before the wants and needs of the Labour Party. Correct me if I am wrong but is that not their job? Were they not elected for precisely that purpose?

Is anymore proof needed that we no longer live in a democracy?

Nicole has applied. Adults Only

Well it is Monday morning and we have just had another applicant for the post of secretary. Her name is Nicole and she has been immediately put on the short list.

See why here.

In the interests of science

In the interests of science and so that we are in tune with my electorate when we get voted in I have been looking at a dating website. God you get some mingers on there! And they all tell lies!

One I just looked at for instance. Her advert said, a few extra pounds. So what does that mean? To me it means just a bit bigger then the birds I feature on here. It makes sense. A most a few extra pounds can mean is a stone! And a stone ain't a few extra pounds! A stone overweight puts them in the BBW class. Bloody Big Women.

So she says a few extra pounds, I believe her and go to have a look at her pic. She was enormous! Bigger than Dawn French! She should be nicked under the trades descriptions act!

It was a shock I can tell you but I will persevere with the site and let you know my findings.

The this arrived. Adults Only

Then this babe turned up as well so once again I thought of you lot.

See her particulars here.

Another applicant. Adults Only

I was going to wait and intorduce all the other applicants on the short list for the post of secretary at one go. But then this babe turned up and I figured that you all might enjoy her as much as i did.

Study her CV here.