I have decided to start my own business. Firstly I will ask people to give me their money and charge them for the priviledge. If they give me enough I will pay them a tiny sum in interest to make them feel they are getting something out of it. I will then take their money and lend it to other people and charge them a high amount of interest. The difference between the two sums I will put into my pocket.
Should the people giving me their money make the slightest mistake I will charge them a fortune for it and should the people I have leant the money to delay the repayments in any way I will charge them a fortune as well. If I make a mistake I will blame it on a computer error and will not be held responsible under any circumstances.
Once I have their money I will issue people with little plastic cards so they can have access to it. Rather than use a unigue form of identification like a signature I will use something like a four digit pin number instead. Yes this will make things far easeier for criminals but it will be cheaper for me and increase my profits. Plus, despite me being in possesion of their money, I will make the safety of it their own responsibility so why should I care?
If, even with everything weighted in my favour, I completely mess it up I will get the government to return everybodys money and walk away with a few million pounds in my own pocket.
I am going to call this business banking and name my company Northern Rock. Do you think this will be legal or will people recognise it for the scam it is?
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2 comments:
Hey Castonya, I got a nice crisp, new twenty pound note here and I want to offer you a wager.
I say that the taxpayers will never get their money back. Labour will lose even more money trying to float this dead duck.
And then, to make it worse, when they lose the next election the conservatives will sell it off to Branson for a £1.
What do you say?
Well, the jocks have already got all they wanted. The northerners are now starting to get a big helping hand.
I suppose us southerners will have to wait for the conservatives....HA
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