Here is yet another bikini babe to get you in the mood for summer. This time it's nineteen year old Lucia spilling out of that tiny bini top. See all the pics here.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Bikini Babe Lucia. Adults Only
Here is yet another bikini babe to get you in the mood for summer. This time it's nineteen year old Lucia spilling out of that tiny bini top. See all the pics here.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
The things they do. Adults Only
Here are a few pics of American college girls getting drunk and having fun. See the full gallery here.
Wendy Cutie. Adults Only
Here is another cute eighteen year old featured here for no other reason than I like her. See her strip and play with a toy in this full hardcore gallery.
One last time. Adults Only
And, for the last time this morning, we have another gallery of the lovely Sarah Sexton. See all of this gallery here.
Here she is again. Adults Only
This is the second Sarah sexton gallery, this weeks babe of the week. See all the pics from this gallery here.
Babe of the week. Adults Only
This cute babe is the gorgeous Sarah Sexton and she is this weeks babe of the week. I couldn't decide which of her galleries I liked the most so this is the first of a few I am putting on. See all the pics in this gallery here.
Not a beach in sight.
Well you might have known it couldn't last. All those posts and no pics of women! It must be at least an hour since I last pit a babe on here! Anyway, you might see a few more over the next couple of hours as I've been on the customised Rothmans again. Plus two of the light bulbs have gone above the computer and I'm too wrecked to change them. Also I have just about worn out most of the letters on my keyboard and now I'm getting old my eyes are pretty much shagged as well.
Which all means I can't see me doing much typing tonight. So you will have to put up with naked and half naked women. Sorry. I will try to put some cars and bikes in as well but don't hold your breath.
Anyway, without a beach in sight here is a babe in a bikini. See all the pics here.
Drunk and a blonde
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, ''You wanna hear a blonde joke?'' The person replies, ''I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?''
The man thinks for a while and replies, ''Not if I have to explain it three times.''
The man thinks for a while and replies, ''Not if I have to explain it three times.''
Perfume
One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi."
The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."
So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."
The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."
So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."
Prisonor of War
About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic."
"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."'
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Guilders for every week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."'
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Guilders for every week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
Friday, March 17, 2006
The Wonder Bra
Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. Because when you take it off, you wonder where her tits went!
A. Because when you take it off, you wonder where her tits went!
The Model Lodger
Doris and Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a lodger in their terrace house.
After a few days, a young attractive woman applied for the room and explained that she was a model working in a near-by city center studio for a few weeks and that she would like the room from Mondays to Thursdays, but would pay for the whole week.
Doris showed her the house and they agreed to start straight away.
"There's just one problem," explained the model. "Because of my job, I have to have a bath every night, and I notice you don't have a bath."
"That's not a problem," replied Doris. "We have a tin bath out in the yard and we bring it into the living room in front of the fire and fill it with hot water."
"What about your husband? asked the model.
"Oh, he plays darts most weekdays, so he will be out in the evenings," replied Doris.
"Good," said the model. "Now that that's been settled, I'll go to the studio and see you tonight."
That evening, Fred dutifully went to his darts match while Doris prepared the bath for the model. After stripping off, the model stepped into the bath. Doris was amazed to see that she had no pubic hair.
The model noticed Doris' staring eyes, so she smiled and explained that it is part of her job to shave herself, especially when modeling swimmer or underclothes.
Later when Fred returned, Doris related this oddity and he does not believe her.
"It's true, I tell you!" said Doris. "Look, if you don't believe me, tomorrow night I'll leave the curtains slightly open and you can peek in and see for yourself."
The next night, Fred left as usual and Doris prepared the bath for the model. As the model stepped naked into the bath, Doris stood behind her.
Doris looked towards the curtains and pointed towards the model's naked pubic area. Then she lifted up her skirt and wearing no panties, pointed to her own hairy mass.
Later Fred returned and they retired to bed.
"Well, do you believe me now?" she asked Fred. "Yes, he replied. "I've never seen anything like it in my life. But why did you lift up your skirt and show yourself?"
"Just to show you the difference," answered Doris. "But I guess you've seen me millions of times."
"Yes, said Fred, I have - but the rest of the dart team hadn't."
After a few days, a young attractive woman applied for the room and explained that she was a model working in a near-by city center studio for a few weeks and that she would like the room from Mondays to Thursdays, but would pay for the whole week.
Doris showed her the house and they agreed to start straight away.
"There's just one problem," explained the model. "Because of my job, I have to have a bath every night, and I notice you don't have a bath."
"That's not a problem," replied Doris. "We have a tin bath out in the yard and we bring it into the living room in front of the fire and fill it with hot water."
"What about your husband? asked the model.
"Oh, he plays darts most weekdays, so he will be out in the evenings," replied Doris.
"Good," said the model. "Now that that's been settled, I'll go to the studio and see you tonight."
That evening, Fred dutifully went to his darts match while Doris prepared the bath for the model. After stripping off, the model stepped into the bath. Doris was amazed to see that she had no pubic hair.
The model noticed Doris' staring eyes, so she smiled and explained that it is part of her job to shave herself, especially when modeling swimmer or underclothes.
Later when Fred returned, Doris related this oddity and he does not believe her.
"It's true, I tell you!" said Doris. "Look, if you don't believe me, tomorrow night I'll leave the curtains slightly open and you can peek in and see for yourself."
The next night, Fred left as usual and Doris prepared the bath for the model. As the model stepped naked into the bath, Doris stood behind her.
Doris looked towards the curtains and pointed towards the model's naked pubic area. Then she lifted up her skirt and wearing no panties, pointed to her own hairy mass.
Later Fred returned and they retired to bed.
"Well, do you believe me now?" she asked Fred. "Yes, he replied. "I've never seen anything like it in my life. But why did you lift up your skirt and show yourself?"
"Just to show you the difference," answered Doris. "But I guess you've seen me millions of times."
"Yes, said Fred, I have - but the rest of the dart team hadn't."
50 Dollar bet
This guy who works at a pickle factory comes home and hands his wife 50 dollars. She asked him what it was from and he told her that he won it in a bet -- the guys at the factory bet him 50 dollars that he wouldn't stick his dick in the pickle slicer.
The wife was surprised and said she wanted to make sure he was still intact. He pulled down his pants and, indeed, it was all there, unharmed.
“But what about the pickle slicer,” asked the wife, perplexed. “Oh, she liked it too,” answered the husband.
The wife was surprised and said she wanted to make sure he was still intact. He pulled down his pants and, indeed, it was all there, unharmed.
“But what about the pickle slicer,” asked the wife, perplexed. “Oh, she liked it too,” answered the husband.
Wednesdays Budget: My Predictions
Well its that time of year again, the day when a scotsman stands up in parliament and tell the English how much more money he is going to take from them. Yes it's budget day. So I have decided to make some predictions.
If you are single it will cost you more money. If you drive it will cost you more money. If you are drink it will cost you more money. If you smoke it will cost you more money. If you are employed it will cost you more money. If you live in the South of England it will cost you more money.
If you are an illegal immigrant you will be better off. If you are a benefits scrounger with lots of kids you will be better off. If you are an unmarried mother you will be better off. If you are a career woman whose husband already earns a good wage you will be better off. If you are Scottish, Welsh, Irish or live in Northern England you will be better off. If you are a criminal you will be better off.
If you are a New Labour voter you should be ashamed of yourself. But you won't be, because you will also be an unmarried mother, long term unemployed, Scotish, Welsh, Irish, live in the North of England, be a career woman whose husband already earns a good wage or a criminal.
If you are single it will cost you more money. If you drive it will cost you more money. If you are drink it will cost you more money. If you smoke it will cost you more money. If you are employed it will cost you more money. If you live in the South of England it will cost you more money.
If you are an illegal immigrant you will be better off. If you are a benefits scrounger with lots of kids you will be better off. If you are an unmarried mother you will be better off. If you are a career woman whose husband already earns a good wage you will be better off. If you are Scottish, Welsh, Irish or live in Northern England you will be better off. If you are a criminal you will be better off.
If you are a New Labour voter you should be ashamed of yourself. But you won't be, because you will also be an unmarried mother, long term unemployed, Scotish, Welsh, Irish, live in the North of England, be a career woman whose husband already earns a good wage or a criminal.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Beach Babe. Adults Only
This blonde babe posing on the beach is Sonya, from Russia would you believe. She is wearing half a bikini so as far as I'm concerned thats good enough to feature her. See all the pics here.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Who?
Last month the minger of the month was worlds worse TV presenter Davina Macall. Now, thanks to her awful new chat show, the BBC has had it's worst ever week night viewing figures. Just who is she shagging to keep being given huge amounts of tax payers money to host complete and utter and crap?
Babe of the week. Adults Only
This weeks babe is hot brunette Linde Lush. See more of this long legged, big boobed babe here in the full gallery.
Great British Pussy. Adults Only
Well we had a couple of French slappers earlier so just to even things up a bit here is a fine looking English bird. See all the pics here.
Babe in a black bikini. Adults Only
Well here is another one of those babes in a bikini I promised you. This is Lucia. Take a much closer look here.
More from France. Adults Only
Now I don't know about you but there are a few things that immediately spring to mind when I think of France, the Eiffel Tower, smelly cheese, sweaty armpits, women with moustaches and the ability to surrender at the drop of a hat are a few that spring to mind. But they do produce the odd shagable piece of crumpet like this one. Probably a half breed. Take a look at the full gallery here.
Sorry. Adults Only
Sorry, haven't had much time to update this week and don't have a lot now so I guess you will just have to put up with a couple of pics of babes for now. Here is the first, Mia from France, proving that the only good thing to come out of France isn't just the tunnel.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Nikki it is. Adults Only
Well, nothing better came up so this weeks babe of the week is Nikki. It's hard work trying to pick the babe of the week and do all my other stuff as well so I've had an idea. Why doesn't one of you check out the pics on here and on my other sites each week then mail me on a Friday telling me which one is your favourite? A little bit of audience participation. Anyway see all of Nikki here.
Nextdoor Nikki. Adults Only
Well she don't live next door to me I can assure you. I'd have been arrested by now if she did. This is Nextdoor Nikki. She may be babe of the week yet but I still have half hour to go yet so maybe someone else will take my fancy. Anyway take a look, great full screen shots and the body is quite tempting. See more of Nikki here.
Blonde Luba in a bikini
Well we just had a brunette and that is as good a reason as any to now have a blonde. So here we have Luba in a bikini. See her both in and out of it here in the full gallery.
Bikini Babe Eloise. Adults Only
Here we have Eloise in a bikini. So why have I put her on here? If you had been paying attention you would know. See all of the gallery here.
Friday, March 03, 2006
By popular request.
I have had a request from a couple of regular visitors for another look at the lovely Tiffany. So here she is again. Take a look at the full gallery of high quality pictures here.
Dear Mr Ellis
The complaint I was talking about earlier was basically that Black Cabs are allowed to pick up and drop off passengers on Red Routes but mini cabs can't. As mini cab drivers are now licensed by the same people who license the black cabs I don't see why this is or why mini-cab drivers should be prosecuted just for doing their job. My MP agreed with me and asked for an explanation and the letter I got back didn't give one. So this is what I have written to him.
Mr Ellis
My MP, Susan Kramer, just wrote to you on my behalf regarding the legality of Private Hire Drivers picking up and setting down on Red Routes. I have just received a copy of your reply for which I thank you. However I do have a question, which as head of the authority who issued my license I believe you should be able to answer.
One of our regular customers broke her foot in a fall and had to have a steel pin inserted. At the moment she can only walk with the aid of crutches and is using the company I work for to attend all of her usual appointments. She usually has two heavy bags with her that she is unable to carry. This lady lives on a red route with no authorised stopping bay close by and two of the places we take her to are on red routes where the bays are usually already in use.
If I were to refuse to take her and tell her she must travel in a black cab I would be denying her the right of choice that the Human Rights act affords her so my question is How do I, as a Licensed Private Hire Driver in a Licensed Private Hire Vehicle pick this lady and her luggage up and drop her at her destination without risking prosecution?
I would appreciate your guidance on this as soon as possible as I am picking the lady in question up twice on Tuesday and I need to be sure I am complying fully with the law when I take her as the terms and conditions of the license you issued me insist I do.
I already know the answer. I cannot legally pick her up or drop her off. However I want him to admit in writing that I am not legally allowed to do the job his office licensed me to do. Lets see what happens.
Mr Ellis
My MP, Susan Kramer, just wrote to you on my behalf regarding the legality of Private Hire Drivers picking up and setting down on Red Routes. I have just received a copy of your reply for which I thank you. However I do have a question, which as head of the authority who issued my license I believe you should be able to answer.
One of our regular customers broke her foot in a fall and had to have a steel pin inserted. At the moment she can only walk with the aid of crutches and is using the company I work for to attend all of her usual appointments. She usually has two heavy bags with her that she is unable to carry. This lady lives on a red route with no authorised stopping bay close by and two of the places we take her to are on red routes where the bays are usually already in use.
If I were to refuse to take her and tell her she must travel in a black cab I would be denying her the right of choice that the Human Rights act affords her so my question is How do I, as a Licensed Private Hire Driver in a Licensed Private Hire Vehicle pick this lady and her luggage up and drop her at her destination without risking prosecution?
I would appreciate your guidance on this as soon as possible as I am picking the lady in question up twice on Tuesday and I need to be sure I am complying fully with the law when I take her as the terms and conditions of the license you issued me insist I do.
I already know the answer. I cannot legally pick her up or drop her off. However I want him to admit in writing that I am not legally allowed to do the job his office licensed me to do. Lets see what happens.
Slight Delay while I have some fun!
I was going to update this afternoon but I just got a letter back from my MP about a complaint I made. She has inadvertently also supplied me with the direct e-mail address and telephone number of Roy Ellis, the man who runs the Public Carriage office! God is he going to wish she hadn't!
So there is going to be a delay and I will have to update either later tonight or tomorrow morning as there are a number of issues I have been trying to bring to this mans attention that need dealing with. And when I say a number I mean a high number. A very high number!
So I'm going to have some fun this afternoon and by the end of next week Mr Ellis is going to wish he'd never heard of me.
So there is going to be a delay and I will have to update either later tonight or tomorrow morning as there are a number of issues I have been trying to bring to this mans attention that need dealing with. And when I say a number I mean a high number. A very high number!
So I'm going to have some fun this afternoon and by the end of next week Mr Ellis is going to wish he'd never heard of me.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Google Earth
Been meaning to put this on for a couple of weeks. If you haven't found your house on here and zoomed in to see your car parked outside then you haven't lived. You can Zoom into just about anywhere in the world, it's amazing stuff. Thanks to the Wolf Man for this one. Take a look here.
First Child
Dear Tech Support,
Recently I purchased and installed Child 1.0. I soon noticed that this program appears to have numerous glitches. For instance, every time my computer boots up, I have to run Feed 5.3 and Burp 7.1. Many times I've been in the middle of writing an important document, and a window will flash telling me to run CleanItUp 2.0. This program also contained applications I did not wish to install, such as Potty 8.5, however they auto-installed with Child 1.0. Applications such as Holidays 2.7 and Pub.exe 10.1 can no longer run, crashing whenever selected. Possibly the worst is that Child 1.0 has attached itself to programs like Finance Manager and MS Money, with folders added such as "Nappies" and "ChildMedicines". Periodically, I'll get a reminder telling me to send a check to the manufacturer of Child 1.0 for the aforementioned items. I have tried to uninstall Child 1.0 numerous times, but when I try to run the uninstall program, I get warning messages telling me that a deadly virus known as "Guilt" will infect my system. Please Help!!!!!
THE REPLY:
Dear User,
Your complaint is not unusual. A common misconception among users is that Child 1.0 is a mere "utilities and entertainment program." It is not - it is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its' creator to run everything! A warning will soon be imprinted on the box. Since you have already installed Child 1.0, here are a few tips on how to make it run better. If you are annoyed by the applications Feed 5.3 and Burp 7.1, you may run C: \HIRENANNY.EXE, however this will cause another folder to be added to financial applications, labeled "Staff". Failure to send payment to "Staff" will result in Feed 5.3 and Burp 7.1 being run again on startup. A note of caution: NOT booting up your computer for several days isn't the solution to avoiding Feed 5.3 and Burp 7.1. You will find that, when you boot up your computer again, a nasty virus called "SocialWork 4.2" will have attached itself to important documents and the only way to rid your computer of SocialWork 4.2 is by purchasing and installing "Lawyer 10.1". Otherwise, SocialWork 4.2 will cause further and irreversible damage to the operating system. Finally, it is important that you run C:\NightNurse and C:\GoogGooTalk on a fairly regular basis to keep the application running smoothly. If you have any more questions, please call our toll free number.
Sincerely, Tech Support
Recently I purchased and installed Child 1.0. I soon noticed that this program appears to have numerous glitches. For instance, every time my computer boots up, I have to run Feed 5.3 and Burp 7.1. Many times I've been in the middle of writing an important document, and a window will flash telling me to run CleanItUp 2.0. This program also contained applications I did not wish to install, such as Potty 8.5, however they auto-installed with Child 1.0. Applications such as Holidays 2.7 and Pub.exe 10.1 can no longer run, crashing whenever selected. Possibly the worst is that Child 1.0 has attached itself to programs like Finance Manager and MS Money, with folders added such as "Nappies" and "ChildMedicines". Periodically, I'll get a reminder telling me to send a check to the manufacturer of Child 1.0 for the aforementioned items. I have tried to uninstall Child 1.0 numerous times, but when I try to run the uninstall program, I get warning messages telling me that a deadly virus known as "Guilt" will infect my system. Please Help!!!!!
THE REPLY:
Dear User,
Your complaint is not unusual. A common misconception among users is that Child 1.0 is a mere "utilities and entertainment program." It is not - it is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its' creator to run everything! A warning will soon be imprinted on the box. Since you have already installed Child 1.0, here are a few tips on how to make it run better. If you are annoyed by the applications Feed 5.3 and Burp 7.1, you may run C: \HIRENANNY.EXE, however this will cause another folder to be added to financial applications, labeled "Staff". Failure to send payment to "Staff" will result in Feed 5.3 and Burp 7.1 being run again on startup. A note of caution: NOT booting up your computer for several days isn't the solution to avoiding Feed 5.3 and Burp 7.1. You will find that, when you boot up your computer again, a nasty virus called "SocialWork 4.2" will have attached itself to important documents and the only way to rid your computer of SocialWork 4.2 is by purchasing and installing "Lawyer 10.1". Otherwise, SocialWork 4.2 will cause further and irreversible damage to the operating system. Finally, it is important that you run C:\NightNurse and C:\GoogGooTalk on a fairly regular basis to keep the application running smoothly. If you have any more questions, please call our toll free number.
Sincerely, Tech Support
Two Drunk Women
Two women go out on a girlie night out and get terribly drunk.
As they wander, or rather stagger, homewards they both suddenly feel the call of nature. They are next to the graveyard at this point so they each duck behind a headstone to relieve themselves.
None have any tissue paper so the first one uses her knickers and throws them away.
The other one has a particularly expensive pair and doesn't want to do this - she sees a fresh grave that has a huge wreath and it is bound by a big soft ribbon, she uses that.
Next morning their two husbands meet up, the first one says:
"Hey, we need to keep an eye on our wives, mine came in last night without any knickers.
"You think that's bad?" says the other, "mine had her knickers on - it's just that inside them was a card that said "We'll Never Forget You - From All The Lads At The Fire Station"!
As they wander, or rather stagger, homewards they both suddenly feel the call of nature. They are next to the graveyard at this point so they each duck behind a headstone to relieve themselves.
None have any tissue paper so the first one uses her knickers and throws them away.
The other one has a particularly expensive pair and doesn't want to do this - she sees a fresh grave that has a huge wreath and it is bound by a big soft ribbon, she uses that.
Next morning their two husbands meet up, the first one says:
"Hey, we need to keep an eye on our wives, mine came in last night without any knickers.
"You think that's bad?" says the other, "mine had her knickers on - it's just that inside them was a card that said "We'll Never Forget You - From All The Lads At The Fire Station"!
Newspapers announce the end of the world.
The Mirror - WE'RE DEAD!
The Sun - GOTCHA ALL!
The Sunday Times: Special Keepsake Magazine FREE Inside!
The News of the World - CHARLES AND CAMILLA SEX ROMP SHOCK!
The Guardian - NOBODY TO BLAME BUT OURSELVES
The Telegraph: Blair Responsible for Worst Ever End of the World
The Star: FORGET IT! WE'VE FILLED OUR PAGES WITH TITS
The Morning Star: CAPITALISM IS OVER!
The BBC: BILLIONS TO DIE - MANY BELIEVED TO BE BRITONS
ITV: Special Report Tonight By Trevor McDonald (Circumstances Permitting)
The Daily Mail: YOBS PART OF ARMAGGEDON PROBLEM
TV-AM: And later on Lorraine Kelly will be discussing with our fashion experts just what to wear when a world comes to an end.
QUESTION TIME: Join our panel who as usual will not not know in advance any of the questions. Well, (to applause and laughter) maybe just one of them!
The Sun - GOTCHA ALL!
The Sunday Times: Special Keepsake Magazine FREE Inside!
The News of the World - CHARLES AND CAMILLA SEX ROMP SHOCK!
The Guardian - NOBODY TO BLAME BUT OURSELVES
The Telegraph: Blair Responsible for Worst Ever End of the World
The Star: FORGET IT! WE'VE FILLED OUR PAGES WITH TITS
The Morning Star: CAPITALISM IS OVER!
The BBC: BILLIONS TO DIE - MANY BELIEVED TO BE BRITONS
ITV: Special Report Tonight By Trevor McDonald (Circumstances Permitting)
The Daily Mail: YOBS PART OF ARMAGGEDON PROBLEM
TV-AM: And later on Lorraine Kelly will be discussing with our fashion experts just what to wear when a world comes to an end.
QUESTION TIME: Join our panel who as usual will not not know in advance any of the questions. Well, (to applause and laughter) maybe just one of them!
No room at the Inn
Two hikers are on a tour of the Pennines when they get a little lost and don't make it to a village until after midnight. The see an inn called George and the Dragon and rap on the door. A window flies open and the landlady says, "Be off with you, I need my sleep if I am to be fit for tomorrow." and slams the window shut again.
Undeterred they rap the door again, the window flies open and the landlady yells, "I told you two to be off - did you not understand me?"
"Perfectly," says one, "we just wanted to know if we could talk to George this time."
Undeterred they rap the door again, the window flies open and the landlady yells, "I told you two to be off - did you not understand me?"
"Perfectly," says one, "we just wanted to know if we could talk to George this time."
Tight Sweaties
Two Scotsman are touring Yorkshire and they decide they would like a pint and something to eat.
Being of the thrifty sort from Aberdeen, they don't want to get stung paying fancy prices for pub grub, so they stop off at a cornershop and buy a round of sandwiches each.
The go into a nice wee pub and order their beers and sit down. Just as they produce their sandwiches and start to eat them, the landlord bangs his fist on the counter.
"Oi, oi! You two! You are not allowed to eat your own sandwiches in here."
The Scotsman look at each other, shrug their shoulders...
...and swap their sandwiches!
Being of the thrifty sort from Aberdeen, they don't want to get stung paying fancy prices for pub grub, so they stop off at a cornershop and buy a round of sandwiches each.
The go into a nice wee pub and order their beers and sit down. Just as they produce their sandwiches and start to eat them, the landlord bangs his fist on the counter.
"Oi, oi! You two! You are not allowed to eat your own sandwiches in here."
The Scotsman look at each other, shrug their shoulders...
...and swap their sandwiches!
For the Race Drivers
One of our regular visitors has a mate coming round tonight to spend a couple of hours racing on the playstation. He wants to show him this bird before we start. So I've put her on again to save him scrolling down the page to find her. The racing gets so intense he has to preserve his energy! Anyway here she is, the blonde with the bumb!
Great site
Just found this great site. Just loads of galleries of birds with cars. The three pics above are all from there. Have a look, it's pretty good.
Waste of time
Well it would have been a waste of time starting at the bottom and working up today. There is no theme today, just ramblings really. Sorry if you haven't got a clue what I'm talking about but you're not the only one. Just had a Suped up Rothman so everything has become a bit hazy. But if you didn't understand the first line you need to go to the bottom of yesterdays posts and catch up. There will be a test on it tomorrow!
Accused again
Once more I have received an e-mail accusing me of being a racist, so lets get this straight once and for all.
I have no objection to anybody being in ths country because of their race. I don't believe we should be allowing any more imigrants in until we have sorted out the mess we are in but I have nothing against the ones that are here.
Anybody, whatever their race or colour, who works for a living, obeys our laws, tries to fit in, abides by our customs and generally contributes to our society is fine by me.
It's the ones who deal drugs, smuggle people, refuse to learn our language, milk the benefit system or try to turn our country into a replica of the shithole they came from that I object to. The ones who expect us to bend over backwards to accomodate them rather than adapt to our way of life. The very ones the government does it's utmost to appease and whose welfare and rights it puts above the rights of the rest of us.
I'm not the only one. I'm a cab driver. I get to talk to a far wider selection of people than any MP does. I meet people from all ethic groups, of all ages and from all different backgrounds, from dustmen to managing directors of banks. The vast majority of them feel the same way I do.
All this government are doing is making people angrier and angrier and driving some of them to vote BNP. The government need to realise it and do something about it Because if they don't, and they keep allowing these people their own way, then the one's who suffer will be the hard working honest immigrants who just want the chance of a good life.
I have no objection to anybody being in ths country because of their race. I don't believe we should be allowing any more imigrants in until we have sorted out the mess we are in but I have nothing against the ones that are here.
Anybody, whatever their race or colour, who works for a living, obeys our laws, tries to fit in, abides by our customs and generally contributes to our society is fine by me.
It's the ones who deal drugs, smuggle people, refuse to learn our language, milk the benefit system or try to turn our country into a replica of the shithole they came from that I object to. The ones who expect us to bend over backwards to accomodate them rather than adapt to our way of life. The very ones the government does it's utmost to appease and whose welfare and rights it puts above the rights of the rest of us.
I'm not the only one. I'm a cab driver. I get to talk to a far wider selection of people than any MP does. I meet people from all ethic groups, of all ages and from all different backgrounds, from dustmen to managing directors of banks. The vast majority of them feel the same way I do.
All this government are doing is making people angrier and angrier and driving some of them to vote BNP. The government need to realise it and do something about it Because if they don't, and they keep allowing these people their own way, then the one's who suffer will be the hard working honest immigrants who just want the chance of a good life.
Bikini Babe. Adults Only
As I said at the beginning of the week, just to get us all in the mood for summer, I will be featuring a few babes in bikini's. So here we have Chloe. See all the pics here.
Which would you choose?
You have to admire Rod Stewart really. He's a pensioner now and he still gets the fittest birds. Here we have the latest, Penny Lancaster, and the previous, Rachel Hunter. Which one would you choose if you had his money?
You have to hand it to them
You can say what you like about the musmims and the sheer hypocracy of most of them, but they have got it right with their women.
You never see an ugly one do you? Of course not, all the ugly ones have to cover themselves from head to foot so the blokes don't get tempted after a few beers. They also have to know their place and are expected to walk three paces behing their men to show respect.
Except In Iraq that is. There they now walk three paces in front. Just in case of landmines!
You never see an ugly one do you? Of course not, all the ugly ones have to cover themselves from head to foot so the blokes don't get tempted after a few beers. They also have to know their place and are expected to walk three paces behing their men to show respect.
Except In Iraq that is. There they now walk three paces in front. Just in case of landmines!
Blair's Vision of the future.
Urging his nation to "see the big picture" and not focus on one issue, British Prime Minister Tony Blair today explained that unflinching support for President George W. Bush is particularly necessary now if Great Britain is ever to become the 51st U.S. state.
"As America's easternmost state, Britannia would claim 'first baby born in the U.S.' each New Year's," Blair explained to the House of Commons.
Speaking before the House of Commons, Blair conceded British involvement in a Middle East war was unpopular, but insisted "what you must concede is that in order to be granted U.S. statehood, we must be willing to defer our opinions and support our President on issues like this. For the greater good," he went on, "you must all swallow your pride, like I have, and someday, like I have, you too will be able to say, 'I am an American.'"
"But what if we don't want to?" shouted one north London MP.
"Oh, don't be silly," Blair replied.
Blair's emotional speech, the first time his government has officially declared its statehood intentions, came as a surprise to most Americans, who thought the U.K. already was the 51st state. But it caused an uproar in Commons, particularly among liberal members of the Labour Party, who feared that under the American political system, they would have to join the Democratic Party.
Blair, however, insisted the advantages of becoming another star on the U.S. flag are too great to ignore. "As Americans, we will finally be able to lift the yoke of cross-Atlantic condescension," he said. "We will finally be able to say we won the Colonial Rebellion. We will be able to once again look in the mirror and say, 'We are a superpower.' And we will be able to declare that we 'saved our own butts' during World War II."
With 60 million people, Great Britain, which would be renamed Britannia to blend in with other U.S. states that end in "a," would immediately become the most populous state. Eventually, plans call for Scotland and Wales be spun off as the 52nd and 53rd states, but Northern Ireland's status remains uncertain.
"Northern Ireland is a place of deep-seated hatreds and senseless violence, so I don't know if it would qualify as a state," said one source. "It might qualify as an American high school, though."
U.S. diplomatic sources, meanwhile, said inclusion was not a certainty, and explained that the British must make concessions before being granted statehood. Among them:
a) Drop the phony accents.
b) Rename all airports after Ronald Reagan.
c) Disband the Royal Family, "not because America doesn't recognize nobility, but because they're a bunch of nutters."
The future governor of Britannia, however, insisted any cultural compromises would be worth it if the new state gained long-sought representation in Washington, D.C. "For too long we have been governed by America without having a vote in America," said Blair. "As citizens of the United States, we will finally make our voices heard."
"Unless they disagree with the President's voice," he quickly added.
"As America's easternmost state, Britannia would claim 'first baby born in the U.S.' each New Year's," Blair explained to the House of Commons.
Speaking before the House of Commons, Blair conceded British involvement in a Middle East war was unpopular, but insisted "what you must concede is that in order to be granted U.S. statehood, we must be willing to defer our opinions and support our President on issues like this. For the greater good," he went on, "you must all swallow your pride, like I have, and someday, like I have, you too will be able to say, 'I am an American.'"
"But what if we don't want to?" shouted one north London MP.
"Oh, don't be silly," Blair replied.
Blair's emotional speech, the first time his government has officially declared its statehood intentions, came as a surprise to most Americans, who thought the U.K. already was the 51st state. But it caused an uproar in Commons, particularly among liberal members of the Labour Party, who feared that under the American political system, they would have to join the Democratic Party.
Blair, however, insisted the advantages of becoming another star on the U.S. flag are too great to ignore. "As Americans, we will finally be able to lift the yoke of cross-Atlantic condescension," he said. "We will finally be able to say we won the Colonial Rebellion. We will be able to once again look in the mirror and say, 'We are a superpower.' And we will be able to declare that we 'saved our own butts' during World War II."
With 60 million people, Great Britain, which would be renamed Britannia to blend in with other U.S. states that end in "a," would immediately become the most populous state. Eventually, plans call for Scotland and Wales be spun off as the 52nd and 53rd states, but Northern Ireland's status remains uncertain.
"Northern Ireland is a place of deep-seated hatreds and senseless violence, so I don't know if it would qualify as a state," said one source. "It might qualify as an American high school, though."
U.S. diplomatic sources, meanwhile, said inclusion was not a certainty, and explained that the British must make concessions before being granted statehood. Among them:
a) Drop the phony accents.
b) Rename all airports after Ronald Reagan.
c) Disband the Royal Family, "not because America doesn't recognize nobility, but because they're a bunch of nutters."
The future governor of Britannia, however, insisted any cultural compromises would be worth it if the new state gained long-sought representation in Washington, D.C. "For too long we have been governed by America without having a vote in America," said Blair. "As citizens of the United States, we will finally make our voices heard."
"Unless they disagree with the President's voice," he quickly added.
How many has he killed?
Just how many people have died because of Barmy Ken Livingstones war on motorists? Unfortunately there are no figures for this but I would guess it to be in the hundreds, maybe even thousands.
The biggest cause of accidents on our roads is tiredness, around 20% of all accidents are caused by people falling asleep at the wheel.
Because of BK's hatred of motorists and his obsession with herding people onto the cattle trucks he calls buses journeys in and out of London take far longer than before he came to power. There are numerous 20mph speed limits and miles of bus lanes lay empty while motorists sit in traffic. This means that after a hard days work people who are already tired are being forced to sit in their cars far longer than they should and are amongst those falling asleep at the wheel.
Then there is his ridiculous congestion tax. Because of this people are leaving home far earlier in the morning just to avoid paying it and staying at work longer to avoid it in the evening. How many of these people are falling asleep at the wheel?
The answer is that we don't know, and BK doesn't care. Because by the time they fall asleep and kill themselves or another road user they are outside London and the accident isn't recorded in the London statistics. And thats all that matters to him, that he looks good.
Stress is also a big killer and I can tell you from experience that one of the most stressful things you can do is try and drive in and out of London in the rush hour.
What about the extra pollution his policy of bringing traffic to a standstil causes? Last I heard pollution was a killer as well.
It really is time somebody done some serious research into this. Then, when we can prove just how many deaths he has caused he should be charged with manslaughter.
The biggest cause of accidents on our roads is tiredness, around 20% of all accidents are caused by people falling asleep at the wheel.
Because of BK's hatred of motorists and his obsession with herding people onto the cattle trucks he calls buses journeys in and out of London take far longer than before he came to power. There are numerous 20mph speed limits and miles of bus lanes lay empty while motorists sit in traffic. This means that after a hard days work people who are already tired are being forced to sit in their cars far longer than they should and are amongst those falling asleep at the wheel.
Then there is his ridiculous congestion tax. Because of this people are leaving home far earlier in the morning just to avoid paying it and staying at work longer to avoid it in the evening. How many of these people are falling asleep at the wheel?
The answer is that we don't know, and BK doesn't care. Because by the time they fall asleep and kill themselves or another road user they are outside London and the accident isn't recorded in the London statistics. And thats all that matters to him, that he looks good.
Stress is also a big killer and I can tell you from experience that one of the most stressful things you can do is try and drive in and out of London in the rush hour.
What about the extra pollution his policy of bringing traffic to a standstil causes? Last I heard pollution was a killer as well.
It really is time somebody done some serious research into this. Then, when we can prove just how many deaths he has caused he should be charged with manslaughter.
Minger of the month
It's March already, spring has arrived, which probably explains why it was minus 4 this morning and snowing a couple of hours ago. But a new month means a new minger, and this month it is a man!
Actually no, thats not quite correct. It's a sad sorry excuse for a man. Yes folks, this months minger is that odius little worm, Barmy Ken, the terrorists friend.
This man was elected by ethnic minorities and Gays purely so he could represent their interests at the expense of the rest of us. He is a racist anti semetic moron who was kicked out once, when he ran the GLC, because of the complete and utter mess he made of things.
His idea of effective governing is to use tax payers money to bring islamic terrorist leaders to London to promote their warped hate filled policies. He has imposed a congestion tax on motorists entering London that has done nothing except make millions for the company running it, closed down hundreds of small busineses and caused traffic jams at quarter past six in the morning.
Sorry, thats not quite true. It also bought a fleet of bendy buses that can't use half the roads in London, catch fire for no reason at all, were partly responsible for London being fined for too much pollution because their huge diesel engines pump out so many fumes and are now being scrapped anyway after just three years!
He has just been suspended for a month for bringing the mayors office into disripute for comparing a jewish journalist to a Nazi concentration camp guard and refuses to apologise because he finds nothing wrong with that! This mans arrogance and contempt for the people who pay his wages are almost as bad as that of Billy Liar and his wife.
This man is beyond contempt and in any civilised society would not get a job as a road sweeper let alone mayor of what used to be one of the finest cities in the world. Unfortunately under Billy Liar and The New Taxes Party, Britain can no longer be classed as civilised.
The Wednesday Show
Well this is a treat, updating two days in a row. I'm a little bit more compos mentos that I was yesterday, but not for long hopefully! It might be a bit difficult this afternoon though. I've only been at the keyboard two minutes and I've already had two interuptions. But I will give it a go. So, here comes the Wednesday show.
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