An Indian walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
"Where did you get that?" the barman asks.
"Southall" Says the parrot, "There are fu*king hundreds of them"
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Well off to bed now
Yes the chemo has got to me. Only had it yesterday and it does make me tired sometimes.
But the next one is Wednesday 3rd October! Yes I have a rest week next week so any of you who fancy meeting up for a drink get in touch. I am also going to Bar Isha in Kingston for Salsa on Sunday so if any of you fancy it get in touch.
There is a great band on with a real fit bird! That is her in the pic. See their site here.
Anyway hopefully I will be back tomorrow. If not then Saturday. The one and only Castonya is back! And here to stay!
And another one who should be on Simply Upskirt. Adults Only
yes another one flashing her knickers before giving us a look at her kebab. This time a blonde.
Take a good look here.
This bird should really be on Simply Upskirt
But I am easing myself back into things at the moment so can't be bothered with going back and fore between sites. So you get to take a look up her skirt instead.
See what she had for breakfast here.
Keeping fit
Here we have a blonde bird doing what she should be doing. Keeping herself fit for the apreciation of us men. All women should do it. In fact there should be a law making them do it.
Take a look at her here.
Something for the Homosexuals.
Before I get nicked for discrimination here is the usual bit for the homosexual community. This time, by way of a change, I am going to feature some lesbians.
So here they are. A couple of dykes.
A bird and a Merc
Well it's that time of night. Google is off to bed and we can feature what you have all come here for. Crumpet!
Now I am not acusing any of you of being sexist or anything, god forbid. But I seem to get so many more hits if I fill the site with half naked women than I do when I waffle on!
So you sexist bastards here is a bird with a Merc.
Did you see in the Sun today?
There is a town in Romania that in January had a population of 12,000 people. Then the EU opened it's doors and 1000 of them left.
The result? Their crime rate is at an all time low! People can walk the streets safely, dont get their car stolen, are sage from credit card fraud and generally live without a fear of crime.
Over here crime is a an all time high!
Do you think the idoiots who run this country will ever work it out?
The result? Their crime rate is at an all time low! People can walk the streets safely, dont get their car stolen, are sage from credit card fraud and generally live without a fear of crime.
Over here crime is a an all time high!
Do you think the idoiots who run this country will ever work it out?
Until
Until she got into her present line of work, Rich Bitch, Bright Blonde had a variety of jobs. She even worked as a customs officer. Until she arrested a muslim thalidomide for bringing small arms into the country.
She also collapsed having phone sex!
They took her to hospital and extracted a nokia, two motorolas and an NEC. Despite a prolonged search they couldn't find any Seimans.
Bright Blonde got thrown off of millionaire!
Yes, our recently departed Bright Blonde got thrown off of who wants to be a millionaire for masturbating!
She got confused when Tarrant said fastest finger first!
She got confused when Tarrant said fastest finger first!
I once picked up a blonde
in my cab.
When we got to ther place she lifted her skirt and asked me if she could pay in kind.
I had to ask her if she had anything smaller!
When we got to ther place she lifted her skirt and asked me if she could pay in kind.
I had to ask her if she had anything smaller!
Just spent £60 on a computer game..
But the bloody thing keeps crashing the computer!
This new Colin Mcrae Helicopter simulator is shit!
This new Colin Mcrae Helicopter simulator is shit!
Now thats the peanut gallery dealt with
We can get on with the real business of the site. Don't worry there will be some crumpet later, it's just a bit difficult with google sitting here. Have to wait until she goes to bed.
Now as you all know I am not one to complain. But why on earth has the government agreed to use tax payers money to make sure the greedy bastards who banked with Northern rock get paid?
These people, middle and upper class tossers who work in non jobs like advertising, poncing off of the rest of us, put there money in there because they could earn more interest! No other reason. And they got caught out. So why the hell should the rest of us pay to bail them out!
They deserved everything they got!
Now as you all know I am not one to complain. But why on earth has the government agreed to use tax payers money to make sure the greedy bastards who banked with Northern rock get paid?
These people, middle and upper class tossers who work in non jobs like advertising, poncing off of the rest of us, put there money in there because they could earn more interest! No other reason. And they got caught out. So why the hell should the rest of us pay to bail them out!
They deserved everything they got!
Goodbye Bright Blonde
As I touched on earlier Bright Blonde has left us. Despite all the playing we used to do, non stop day and night, she no longer wants to play with me. I think she got bored then somebody else came along for her to play with. Shame because she was a real fun playmate. Anyway I no longer have permission to fill her inbox, nor that of her friend Miss Tecra. But I still slip one in now and again!
She is too busy for things like this now. She has reached that age where she is desperate to find a man before her juices dry up and when she is not talking about working, out on the piss, watching football or out dancing she is romancing. Or trying to find a meal ticket, sorry husband.
She is currently working her way through her ex boyfriends, trying to find if any of them have got any richer and become better prospects. She was up to D last time I heard but she doesn't hang about so if you used to "know her" be ready for a call soon!
Now I know thats stupid, working your way through people you have already rejected. Why not try something new? Why stick with the same type of bloke who has let you down everytime? Why not try a different type, somebody who might actually make you happy? But that is the way supposedly intelligent women work!
"Oh, every man I have ever met has treated me like shit and ended up hurting me! I know! I will go for the same type again! What a good idea! Us blondes are well smart!"
But apart from her blonde moments she is a nice old bird, one of the kindest nicest people I have ever met. and with a great sense of humour too. So lets wish her well in her search. And have a sweepstake on how long each one lasts!
Goodbye from us all Bright Blonde. We will miss you. You are welcome back anytime.
She is too busy for things like this now. She has reached that age where she is desperate to find a man before her juices dry up and when she is not talking about working, out on the piss, watching football or out dancing she is romancing. Or trying to find a meal ticket, sorry husband.
She is currently working her way through her ex boyfriends, trying to find if any of them have got any richer and become better prospects. She was up to D last time I heard but she doesn't hang about so if you used to "know her" be ready for a call soon!
Now I know thats stupid, working your way through people you have already rejected. Why not try something new? Why stick with the same type of bloke who has let you down everytime? Why not try a different type, somebody who might actually make you happy? But that is the way supposedly intelligent women work!
"Oh, every man I have ever met has treated me like shit and ended up hurting me! I know! I will go for the same type again! What a good idea! Us blondes are well smart!"
But apart from her blonde moments she is a nice old bird, one of the kindest nicest people I have ever met. and with a great sense of humour too. So lets wish her well in her search. And have a sweepstake on how long each one lasts!
Goodbye from us all Bright Blonde. We will miss you. You are welcome back anytime.
Worse bit of having cancer
The very worse bit isn't the pain or the dieing or anything like that. It's getting kissed by relatives! My mum had a birthday party and all the aunts and cousins were there. Do you think they would leave me alone! Every single one of the woman gave me a kiss when they left. I wouldn't mind but have you seen my relatives? They never used to do it before so why now?
Is it cos I's dying?
Is it cos I's dying?
Firstly my Cancer
We might as well get it out of the way right at the start. First of all I had 6 months to a year. Then two to three years. Now maybe five. I don't think they actually have a clue so I have decided not to worry about it and let shit happen when it's ready.
Anyway it's not all bad. Okay I was really ill and I will be again sometime in the future. Yes it's going to kill me. But not too painfully which is cool. yes I have to go to the hospital all the time. But it has it's advantages as well.
I get free road tax, a blue badge and free sandwiches and an orange at chemo! Thats worth all the hassle!
Anyway it's not all bad. Okay I was really ill and I will be again sometime in the future. Yes it's going to kill me. But not too painfully which is cool. yes I have to go to the hospital all the time. But it has it's advantages as well.
I get free road tax, a blue badge and free sandwiches and an orange at chemo! Thats worth all the hassle!
I am early!
Crashed in my race! Anyway welcome back all. Unless of course you are one of the birds who got the e-mail. It says NO WOMEN ALLOWED! Can't you read?
You are supposed to pass it on to a man! Just like all those diseases you pass on to men.
Mind you, being women you have probably started reading at the top instead of the bottom and won't read this until you have already been offended.
Well tough. It serves you right for being thick. Now go somewhere else and leave us to it.
You are supposed to pass it on to a man! Just like all those diseases you pass on to men.
Mind you, being women you have probably started reading at the top instead of the bottom and won't read this until you have already been offended.
Well tough. It serves you right for being thick. Now go somewhere else and leave us to it.
Okay. It's going to be tonight!
Yes, just have an online race to do then will be back here. For those of you who like to tune in whilst I work this weeks Thursday show starts at about ten PM. See you all then.
I am back!
Sorry for the delay in updates but as many of you know I have been very ill and haven't been up to doing this. I will tell you all about it later. i did leave Bright Blonde in charge but the poor old girl hasn't had the time. New boyfriend and all that, or two by now I think! Should have known better than to leave a menopausal women in charge!
In fact I think it's goodbye from Bright Blonde. She is far too busy with hair dressers, getting nails done, socialising, having meetings to talk about work etc to bother with us! Just a typical female businesman I am afraid. And they let these people vote as well! But she is a very lovely lady so I am going to forgive her.
That was probably the worse thing that ever happened to this country, giving women the vote. Everything was fine until then. Now look at it! How on earth can you let a sub species with a lower mental capacity than us and who can only think with their hormones have a say in anything important let alone a say in how to run the country is totally beyond me!
Anyway will update later today or tomorrow then try to be regular after that. So come back soon for the usual helping of crumpet, my view on bailing out the greedy bastards who banked with Northern Rock and all the usual stuff. See you all soon!
In fact I think it's goodbye from Bright Blonde. She is far too busy with hair dressers, getting nails done, socialising, having meetings to talk about work etc to bother with us! Just a typical female businesman I am afraid. And they let these people vote as well! But she is a very lovely lady so I am going to forgive her.
That was probably the worse thing that ever happened to this country, giving women the vote. Everything was fine until then. Now look at it! How on earth can you let a sub species with a lower mental capacity than us and who can only think with their hormones have a say in anything important let alone a say in how to run the country is totally beyond me!
Anyway will update later today or tomorrow then try to be regular after that. So come back soon for the usual helping of crumpet, my view on bailing out the greedy bastards who banked with Northern Rock and all the usual stuff. See you all soon!
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