You have to read the words!

It has been bought (or brought) to my attention that some people come to this site and just look at the pictures! They think that because there is a picture of a bird there that all this typing I am doing is just to describe the bird. So they don't read it! Sodding idiots!

Do they really think I would sit here typing this stuff just to describe a bird? What are they? Complete sodding morons? There is porn for free all over the Internet. I have three other sites just for those of you who have been educated under New Labour or have just gratuated up from the comics, The Beano, The Dandy, The Mirror etc.

This isn't about the pictures! The fanny is just there to provide some eye candy. To break up the text. This is about the words! The real world, the reality of living life in a country controlled by the state. By a state that thinks if you are poor you should stay poor and by a state that thinks that if you are proud to be English that they will soon knock it out of you.

A state that legislates on who you should like and who you shouldn't. A state that imposes it's own set of values on you and ignores yours. A state that introduces laws that makes it illegal to speak against the islamic religion yet makes Christians accept homosexuality even though it is condemened by their religion.

This is about the words, my beliefs, my gut instincts and very probably my prejudices as well. It's my warped sense of humour, my rant at society. It's what I want to say to the people who run this country. It's what I would like them to know.

But they are never going to listen. So I write it on here. And it is good to know that some people agree with me. So read the words, thats what they are there for.

Just waiting. Adults Only

I'm just in a bit of a lull at the moment, waiting for the second fully customised Rothmans with turbo boost to kick in. So while I am waiting I thought I would stick a pic of Dee on.

Not that she is anything special mind you but she is only nineteen and she does have a fair pair of lungs on here. In fact Dee is surely a misprint. They must have meant double Dee!

They also call her Pure Dee! Pure? I don't think so! Unlike you mere mortals I have access to all her promotional content and I have seen the videos! If she is pure then New Labour is for the working classes!

Anyway my keyboard has just gone blurry and my mind has gone into overdrive. I now have a million things I want to say and fingers that have gone from twenty words a minute down to five words a minute. I also really badly need to eat something! God I wish that revved up Rothmans would hurry up and kick in.

Anyway, as I was saying, this is the not so pure double Dee. See her here.

The Understudy. Adults Only

Just in case the star of this years pantomime has an accident we have an understudy. So for the alternative version of Pussy in Boots click here.

Another complaint about the site. Adults Only

Yes I have had another e-mail complaining about the content on this site. A guy calling himself Terrance complained. After telling me he was a hairdresser living alone in Brighton with his pink poodle and telling me all about his BMW sports car and it's soft leather seats he complained that none of the women I feature on here turn him on!

Now sorry Terrance, I think I may have some bad news for you! If pictures like this, and totty like the bird below don't turn you on then it can only be one of two things. You are either a New Labour voter or a raving poufta!

Actually I am not allowed to say poufta anymore. Apparantly it's homophobic. Just like I am forced by law to like blacks, asians, muslims, eastern europeans and even sodding welshman I also have to like and respect homosexuals.

Which means I am no longer allowed to use the old familiar terms like, shirt lifter, shit stabber, queer, queen, iron hoof, sausage jockey, hairdresser, bum bandit, faggot etc.

I have to use the new politically correct term of address. But I can't for the life of me remember what it is!

So anyway Terrance, I think you might be what is now known as sexually challenged. I think that's the right term. If not I am sure somebody will tell me!

For the rest of us here is some more pussy!

A quick question. Adults Only

Just a quick question. Would you?

If the answer is no then are you sure you are looking at the right site?

If the answer is yes then take a closer look here.

This years pantomime. Adults Only

Another great British tradition at this time of year is the pantomime. And here for you today is our very own version. Take a close look at the photo and see if you can guess what it is.

Easy wasn't it? Okay lets get on with the action. To see the lovely Wicky star in our own production of Pussy in Boots, click here!

January Sales. Adults Only

Yes it's that time of year again. After we have all spent our money at Christmas the shops take the piss out of us and reduce all the prices down to what they originally should have been.

And I am not going to be left out. So here we have my January offer. Two brain cells for the price of one! Click here to take a look at them both.

Gratuitous Sex. Adults Only

Now as you all know I am not in any way a chauvanist and don't believe in featuring babes on this site just because they look good. I belive women should be treated seriously and with respect and in some ways are almost the equal of men.

Come on be fair! They can wash and iron better than men, they look a hell of a lot better than men, they talk a lot more than men and given a choice of shagging this bird here or another man I know which I would choose.

Okay they haven't mastered all the basics yet. They still can't drive, they can't get it through their heads that once their tits droop and their legs get flabby that we don't want to see them in skimpy clothes any more. They can't get the hang of leaving the toilet seat up and after all these years they still can't do two things at once.

But just for this once I am putting a bird on here purely because of what she looks like and because I would love to shag her brain cell out. See what I mean by clicking here.

Coming soon to an airport near you. Adults Only

Yes it's nearly the first of January, which means that Romania and Bulgaria will ne joining the EU and criminals all over Eastern Europe are clapping their hands with joy.

From Monday morning Romanian and Bulgarian criminals will be flooding into our country to join the thousands of others already here.

They say that about two and a half million people are preparing to leave their countries to find work in other EU countries and a huge chunk of them will end up here.

So if you are working in an unskilled job be prepared for another cut in wages as the Bulgarians and Romanians join the Poles in doing your job for half price.

And if you are single and on the council's housing list then give up now. By the time this lot have joined the Poles in jumping the queue because they have kids it is going to be another fifty years before you have a chance of getting housed.

These people might be poor, and might be entitled to a better standard of living but shouldn't their own country be sorting that out? Why should their lives improving be at the expense of the poor in this country?

Why should they get access to health care they haven't paid for? Why should they get schooling for their children that they haven't paid for? Why should they get priority in housing etc?

What right has this government got to destroy the British way of life and keep raising taxes to pay for these people coming here? Why should we have to put up with even more crowded roads, lower wages, longer hospital waiting lists, rising crime, overcrowded schools and all the other problems that are being forced upon us by this mass imigration?

If you are in eastern Europe, reading this and thinking of coming to England then I have one message for you. Don't. You are not wanted. Yes Tony Blair might want you, and a few businesses looking for cheap labour might want you. But the vast majority of us don't.

Do us all a favour, stay where you are. Try turning the shit holes you live in into proper countries. Rather than coming here and turning our country into a shit hole.

Here is a bird with her clothes off.

Courtney Love Knickerless

Now this is a bird I have heard of. Apparantly her husband was in a band or something and she murdered him and made it look like suicide. Thats what I was told a couple of weeks ago at a party anyway. Or I think it was what I was told. I'd had so many suped up superkings that I really can't remember all the details. Only that the bird who was telling me all this was only seventeen and had a real fine pair of tits.

Anyway, this is Courtney Love knickerless, Courtney Love without her panties, Courtney Love flashing her gash, Courtny Love without an E for those of you who can't spell.

Marey Carey flashes her bum

Don't worry, I have never heard of her either! However she is supposed to be famous so a pic of Marey Carey flashing her bum might get me a few more visitors.

Anyway, Happy Christmas everbody, even though it's a bit late and Happy New Year, even though it's a bit early.

Enjoy the pic of Marey Carey flashing her bum!

This proved popular. Adults Only

This gallery of eighteen year old blonde babe Tiffany proved very popular last time I posted it although I can't for the life of me think why? Surely you don't all like looking at pictures of gorgeous babes do you?

Well just in case you do you can see this red hot gallery here.

Just to make up. Adults Only

Just to make up for you regular readers having to scroll through stuff you have already seen before here is a photo set you haven't. This eighteen year old is Britney and this gallery is exclusive to this site, you wont find it anywhere else.

See Britney spread her legs for you here.

New Ballot Papers

I have it on good authority that the ballot papers at the next election will be colour coded. This is because the first victims of New Labours education policy are now eligible to vote.

Thanks to Tony Blairs computer in every school policy these people can download illegal music files, make illegal copies of cd's and dvd's and can access a hard core porn site within seconds. But they cannot read or write. The colour coding is needed so they know who they are voting for.

Presumably the boxes will be blue for conservative, yellow for liberal, green for the green party and red with a scull and crossbones for the labour party. These new ballot papers are already being printed and will be ready by May 5th. Remember you read it here first.

Dear Deirdre

Going through some old newspapers I found in the attic the other day I came across this in an agony common. I thought I would share it with you.

Dear Deirdre

I am becoming increasingly worried about my son. Despite having a good education, something of a rarity these days, the only things he seems to be any good at are lying, cheating and distorting facts and he seems to have no sense of decency and very few morals. My husband tells me not to worry, that there are many jobs open to people like this nowadays. I am not so sure and would value your opinion.

Dear Mrs Blair

Your husband is quite right, you need not worry at all. The ability to lie through your teeth is now considered a positive asset in many careers. The trick is to work out just which fields in the art of lying and cheating that your son excels in.

Is he sporting minded at all? Some sports, professional football for example, pay very good money for someone athletic who also has the ability to con a referee. Some clubs, Manchester United in particular, base their entire teams around someone with this ability and over the past years have won many trophies purely on their players ability to dive in the penalty area and convince the officials they have been fouled.

Does he have a good imagination as well? If so the advertising industry is another good career choice for a compulsive liar. This self serving industry exists for the sole purpose of parting honest hard working people from their money in order to line their own pockets. If your son has the gift of presenting something in a false light and inventing false claims about it this could be the career for him. If he also has no morals at all and considers it acceptable to take a huge salary for promoting a product while the people who actually make it live in poverty then I suggest he gets in touch with a company such as Nike.

Combining a sporting career with a career in advertising is especially lucrative. Not only can you earn a huge salary, up to £75,000 a week, it is also possible to earn several million pounds a year you could never possibly spend promoting products you would never use yourself. Providing you don't have any morals at all this is a great career choice.

Can young Tony keep a straight face when he is lying? If so the legal profession could be a good choice. The Human Rights industry in particular is always on the look out for people with very few morals who can lie convincingly enough to fleece the public and obtain obscene amounts of compensation for criminals. As this industry is funded by legal aid, provided from a bottomless pit known as Tax Payers Money, the rewards are huge.

Then there is the Road Safety industry. With new technologies evolving everyday the opportunities for a good liar are almost unlimited. Take speed cameras for example. The potential for making money from these safety devices has still to be fully tapped. Some people estimate that by the year 2004 these cameras will be raking in millions of pounds a year. This industry is desperately seeking people who can convince the public that because one person is killed by a speeding motorist for roughly every 12,000 million miles driven in the UK that we need cameras every 100 yards.

Of course, if young Tony has an exceptional talent for deception then the ultimate career choice must be Politics. Politicians are people who have mastered the art of lying and deception and have no use for morals whatsoever. They also name their own wages, set their own expenses and if they fall foul of the law simply change it to suit their own needs.

It can also be a very demanding job. Thinking up excuses for taking peoples hard earned money from them in taxes is not as easy as it sounds. Thinking up a reasonable sounding excuse for the majority of people having to retire into poverty while you yourself have used their money to make sure your future is secure can also be a bit tricky. A politician however does have a whole army of people employed by tax payers to think up reasons for them which does make the job a bit easier.

All in all though being a politician, especially an MP, is the ideal choice for someone morally corrupt with a talent for deception. The wages are good, the expense account even better and best of all if you get caught out lying it doesn't matter. You also get given countless freebies, especially useful if you have an ambitious wife who is a bit frugal with money. If Tony can convince people he is lying just because his lips are moving then this is the career for him. I would suggest he contacts the labour party. I have it on good authority they will be looking for a new leader soon.

Deirdre.

The Daily Mirror

A few weeks ago I published a post saying it was the first time I had ever agreed with the Daily Mirror. Since then I have had a couple of e-mails asking why I do not usually agree with them. So I thought I would try and explain.

You see you have to understand how the Daily Mirror came into existence in the first place. Back in the old days the poor in this country used to have a job for life, cheap rented accommodation, were taxed fairly, enjoyed a smoke and a drink and in general were a happy bunch. Crime was quite low and it was mainly the rich, or banks, post offices etc who suffered the consequences of crime.

Well one day, a bunch of socialists were sitting in their mansion drinking champagne and one of them remarked on what a disgrace it was.

“Poor people shouldn’t enjoy themselves!” he remarked. “If they get used to having a good life, they will start wanting an education and so forth. They will start getting ideas above their station. They will start to think they can be like us! I am all for everyone being equal and all that but surely this doesn’t apply to the poor?”

And so the Labour party was born. Using their association with the Trade Union movement these work shy layabouts quickly planned a strategy for putting the situation right. They decided to get the unions to demand unrealistic pay and conditions and set about getting themselves elected into government so they could introduce high taxes. They figured that if half the poor were out of work and the other half were taxed unmercifully then the poor would soon be just where they wanted them. Destitute.

However their main priority was getting their message across. They needed people to vote for them so their plan would work Of course nobody with any sort of education was going to vote for them and the poor were still badly educated so they needed the poor to vote for them. But how do you convince the people you are going to suppress that it’s a good idea? Well, in true socialist style they decided to tell them lies.

In order to do this they needed to communicate with the poor and they thought long and hard and consumed several cases of champagne before one of them had a brain wave.

“The poor spend so much money enjoying themselves that they cannot afford toilet paper” he told his friends. “They use newspaper. So why don’t we publish our own newspaper, then when they are sitting on the toilet they can read what we have to say”

And so the Daily Mirror was born. A piece of socialist propaganda, full of blatant lies and half truths and only just about suitable to wipe your arse with.

Tony Blair going to hell?

Lately there have been some strong rumours that Tony Blairs total disregard for the people of this country will result in him “going to hell” when he dies.

Quite understandably this has upset a large proportion of the current residents. They are worried it might have a detrimental effect on property prices and lower the tone of the neighbourhood.

Not everyone is unhappy though. Fred West, Adolf Hitler and some others are said to be delighted at the prospect. They are hoping Cherie Blair will join Tony there and get their sentences quashed under the Human Rights Act.

Apologies to regular visitors. Adults Only

I'd just like to stop a minute and apolgise in advance to my regular readers. Because this site is now starting to get a lot more visitors I am going to be going back through the archives and republishing some stuff from way back.

Now I know that some of you will have seen it before but most of the people coming here won't have. And basically thats how things work in a democratic society, the wants and needs of the majority take precedence over the wants and needs of the minority.

Now if only somebody could explain that to Barmy Ken Livingstone and Billy Liar!

And her is busty eighteen year old Lana getting her tits out.

Just when you thought. Adults Only

Just when you thought that Billy liar couldn't debase polotics any further what happens? He gets pulled in by the ploice for questioning over the cash for honours scandal.

Not that he would ever get nicked for it, despite being in it up to his neck. Everbody responsible for any prosecutions in this case has been appointed to their job by him, and not because they are qualified but because they are friends of his or have done him favours in the past.

In Billy Liars brave new Britain that is the way things work. Just look at when he got pulled in. The same day that the headlines were all about the Pricess Doggie, sorry diana, enquiry. Then two hours later he was off out of the country thus avoiding any embarrasing questions from the press.

This piece of scum thoroughly deserves to be locked away for a long time but because of the way he has corrupted the criminal justice system in this country it will never happen.

Here is a bird.

Just about sums it up

This advert tells you everything you need to know about the average BMW driver.

Kate Moss Topless

Just as the upskirt shots of Britney Spears without her knickers got me loads of visitors so did the ones of Kate Moss showing her pussy.

So here we have celebrity junkie Kate Moss again, this time in some topless pics. So come on all you celebrity watchers, come and take a look at Kate Moss topless, then when you have finished, get a life!

Jordan Knickerless upskirt

Well when I featured all of those pics of Britney Spears flashing her kebab in the knickerless upskirt photo's i got five times as many visitors than normal. Yes five times! Just goes to show how many sad gits there are out there.

So when I came across these photo's of Jordan without any knickers I figured I would have to put them on here, just to try and keep these people coming back.

So, as a treat for all you sad gits who browse the Internet just to find celebrities flashing their bits here we have Jordon with no knickers flashing her bare pussy and showinh her tatoo.

After all that. Adults Only

Well after all that holiday stuff I figure I should get back to what you are all really here for, the crumpet!

So here is eighteen year old blonde Vera getting her kit off for you. Perve over her here.

The Paleo Inn

Now this is the Hotel we stayed in. great place. Small, only 24 rooms, spotlessly clean and with a great pool.

When we arrived at just before midnight we were starving so went straight to the bar and ordered a pizza. When we went down for breakfast in the morning we found out that they actually stop doing food at six thirty in the evening!

Thats the sort of place Paleokastritsa was, everyone was just so friendly and helpful.

The great holiday rip off

Well I enjoyed my week in Paleokastritsa so much I want to go back. The weather is fantastic, the scenery beautiful, the food and drink dirt cheap, two sixteen ounce steaks and a litre of red wine £15, six tequila sunrises about £10. The people were friendly, completely mad but friendly and all in all it was just a completely relaxing holiday.

But having looked after my mates animals, sorry children, once, his bird wont do it again. So sod it I thought, I will go on my own. Same place, middle of May before it gets too hot and too crowded.

Except that I can't, or not unless I want to pay a fortune anyway. Basically they wont take bookings for somebody on their own for a package holiday, you have to book flights and hotel seperately. Which means that for two people the price is £540, or £270 each, for one person it is over £600!

So, if anyone fancies a week in Paleokastritsa in May get in touch!

Picture the scene.

So there we are, stoned out of our heads right out in the ocean, past the shelter of the bay, when we see two sodding great boats coming towards us at some ridiculous speed. and we are in a pedalo!

We quickly peddle out of the way, because if you catch the wake of a big boat in a pedalo you tend to get a bit of a wild ride!

So we get out of the way. then the boats turn toward us. So we pedal even faster. And the boats turn towards us. So we peddle the other way. And the boats turn towards us again!

We are now seriously bricking it. we are stoned, right out at see, and directly in the path of two huge boats that are getting closer every second.

Once more we turn way and once more the boats head towards us. Finally, with about 20 foot to spare the boats vere off. Then some guy comes running down the length of the boat waving is hands in the air and shouting.

"Hello boys, see you in the bar tonight!"

Yes, it was the part owner of the bar we had been drinking in, who thought it was hilarious to scare the shit out of us like that!

But if we were scared how did the eighty or so people on the boat feel, heading into the bay at god knows what speed with the man who was supposed to be driving, hanging off the back with a joint in his hand waving at two hippies on a pedalo!

Paleokastritsa

Ok, that was just a sample of some of the scenery on view at the beach. Here is what it looks like if you can drag your eyes away from the crumpet.

At last, some holiday snaps!

One thing about doing this without any chemicals is that I have finally got around to putting my holiday pics onto the computer, which means I get to bore you all with them.

For those of you who don't know I went to Corfu in October, a great place called Paleocastritsa. The only thing I can compare this beautiful place with is Cornwall, but with great weather and people who speak English!

Here are some examples of the wonderful scenery.

A bit different. Adults Only

This update this morning is a bit different than usual. I am completely straight! No beer, no customised cigarettes, a completely clear head. It feels wierd! I am not used to doing this without any chemicl enhancements! It's not that I haven't got any it's just that I have to drive in about five hours so have to stay straight. Anyway, here is a bird for you.

In case. Adults Only

In case you hadn't noticed here is a reminder that it is Christmas next week. Yes thats right, the annual borefest is with us again already. Sod all on TV, screaming kids everywhere, too much booze, too much food and endless waffle from news readers and newspapers about if it is going to snow or not. As if anyone except the media luvvies really cares!

As far as I am concerned Christmas is just an over comercialised piece of crap. However, it does have one redeeming feature. It upsets the muslim fanatics, they hate it that we have the cheek to celebrate our own festivals in our own country. And anything that upsets them cant be all bad.

Anyway, as it is Christmas I figured I should at least try and get into the spirit of things. So here are four birds in Christmas outfits. Unwrap them here.

If you have arrived here looking for Britany Spears

If you have arrived here looking for Britany Spears without her knickers, Britany Spears without any panties, Britany Spears flashing her shaven pubes, Britany Spears flashing her pussy or any other way you sad gits search for Britany Spears showing all then just scroll down the page, the pics are there.

The same applies if you are looking for kate Moss flashing, Emma Bunton flashing, Anna Friel flashing or any other celebrity with her bits out.

Then when you have had your cheap frill add this site to your favourites because it is your lucky day and you have stumbled across one of the best free sites on the internet.

Some more honest adverts.

Here, courtesy of Ivan the Terrible, are some more honest adverts. I call him Ivan the Terrible because until recently he was teaching bus drivers how to drive. and there is only one way to describe the average bus drivers driving. Terrible!

Actually there is more than one way to describe their driving. Crap, dangerous, awful, diabolical, shit, etc all spring to mind. And by some strange coincidence one of our regular viewers is responsible for this.

So Ivan, thanks for these, but how about an apology or something for the danger that the people you taught constantly put us all in?

Cute Bum. Adults Only

Well this is a lovely little bum and it belongs to a lovely little eighteen year old named Fiona. If you are interested in what the rest of her looks like then take a look here. I think you might like it.

A little bit more. Adults Only

Now that last gallery of Alison Angel was a bit of a rarity because she actually kept her knickers on. This set shows you a bit more. In fact this is Alison how she usually is, minus her knickers and showing all. See the pics here.

Alison. Adults Only

This is another blonde bird who usually proves quite popular, the lovely Alison Angel. Now I must say she doesn't look as good as she used to when I first started putting her galleries on here.

She was eighteen then and now she is knocking on a bit, twenty at least, and the years are starting to tell a little. But she is still quite shagable so here she is. Enjoy Alison here.

For the third time. Adults Only

And here she is again, looking stunning in a tight black mini dress and nothing else. This time she is here just to demonstrate the sort of sexy bird you will find on our sister site, Simply Babes. To see the full gallery click here, or to visit Simply Babes click here.

Here she is again. Adults Only

Here she is again. this time this lovely nineteen year old blonde is posing with a couple of very expensive cars. See all of this high quality photo set by clicking here.

Lia. Adults Only

No I didn't make a mistake and leave out the R. I am not talking about Tony Blair. This rather fit bird in the wet bikini is Lia, a lovely nineteen year old blonde. She is on here for two reasons.

Firstly, because I have been showing pics of Britany Spears with no knickers we are getting a lot more visitors. Okay it's true they are a bit pathetic, browsing the Internet looking for pics of celebrities flashing, but they do have one big advantage over you regular readers.

They are not tight gits like you, they spend money! Some of them might even realise that searching for celebs showing a little bit of flesh is really quite sad when there are fit birds like this willing to get their kit off and show all.

The second reason is because I like her. So to see the full set of Lia sliding out of her wet bikini then click here.

Britany Spears flashes with no knickers. All the pics!

This will be the last pic of Britany Spears flashing her kebab on this site. I have got a few of the sad gits here now but if they want to see more they will have to look on my other site.

So, to see the rest of the photo's of Britany spears without any knickers, including the photo of Britany Spears, legs apart with no knickers revealling her shaved pussy, the take a look at Simply Upskirt.