The Graduates

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Welsh Farmer

A Welsh man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After
several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial
insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not
wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know
when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop
standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when
they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion
that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.
So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the
woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they
are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't
take, and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to
the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them
back, and goes to bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.
"Try again" he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive
them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon
returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look
out of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are
lying in the grass.
"No," she says, "they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is
beeping the horn."

Just a taster. Adults Only

Haven't had a lot of time for updates lately but I'm hoping to make up for it over the Easter weekend. Hoping for some jokes, some comment, some bikes, some cars and of course plenty of crumpet. So here is a little taste of what's to come. A babe in a short skirt leaning on a car. See all the pics here.

Lia. Adults Only

This bird has been on here before I think. But here she is again in a short skirt. I don't remember nineteen year olds looking like this when I was young. In fact I'm finding it hard to remember being nineteen! See all the pics here.

Alison in a short skirt. Adults Only

Finding galleries of birds in short skirts is turning out to be a lot easier than finding ones of them in bikinis. So here is another one. Let me know when you get bored with them. See all the pics here.

Nissan's new advertising campaign. adults Only

In a bid to sell more cars to teenage boys and old men Nissan have enlisted the help of porn star Alison Angel. I am reliably informed, by a little voice in my head I get after too many beers, that this is going to be their new advertising campaign. Be one of the first to see it here.

This set has it all. Adults Only

Well, here we go, a set of pics that kills a few birds with one stone. Not as many as the flu will kill if this lunatic government is on it's usual form but then not even I can be that incompetent.

Any way here we have a bird, a custom truck and a pair of the dodgy sort of socks that one of our regular perverts, sorry, visitors, likes. And she's wearing a short skirt! See all the pics here.

Good Morning. Adults Only

Yes it's Saturday morning again which means it's update time again. I know a few of you, the homosexuals and women mainly, are getting a bit worried because all I seem to be doing lately is posting pics of women but I've been a bit busy so I have had to leave the chat out for a while. But don't worry, it will be back.

In the mean time why not try a woman? You never know you might like it! Especially all you babes out there. Make it your mission for april to try another woman. And don't forget to send us the pics!

Anyway here is another babe in a short skirt to feast your eyes on. She should have been babe of the week last week but I couldn't find the link. So here she is this week. Lust after her here.

Seanna. Adults Only

I seem to have an endless supply of babes in short skirts. I hope you don't get bored with them. This cutie is Seanna. Take a close up look here.

Blonde in a Mini Dress. Adults Only

This hot eighteen year old from Canada is Princess Blue Eyes. Here she is in a very short pink dress. Take a look at this fantastic photo shoot here.

Another Popular Request. Adults Only

This is another babe one of the regular visitors asked for more of, the very lovely Nextdoor Nikki. So here she is, Nextdoor Nikki in a very short skirt. See all the great pics here.

Megan in a Mini. Adults Only

Here we have another cutie in a very short denim mini skirt. This time it is the lovely Megan. Take a good look at her lovely body in this full photo gallery.

Yes Sir. Adults Only

This is what I like to see, a bird who can take orders, and obey them! She is also wearing a short skirt which is why she is here. See the full gallery here.

Another short skirt

Yes, here we have another babe in a short skirt. This time Clara poses for you in a short denim skirt. See all the photographs here.

Sweet Amy

This lovely nineteen year old in the denim mini skirt is Amy. Take a look at all of her pics here.

More of Naomi

This gorgeous blonde proved very popular when I posted a pic of her in a bikini. So here she is again, this time stripping out of a school uniform. See the full gallery here.

Babe of the week. Adults Only

This weeks babe of the week is Sandra from Russia. Not because she is that special but because I am tired and going to bed and as she is also wearing a short skirt she fits into this months theme. Now I'm off to bed thinking about fitting into her theme! See all her bits here.

Girl and a gun. Adults Only

Can you imagine if England was the same as the States and we had a gun counter in every supermarket? I bet things would be a bit different. Imagine it, ordinary people with guns, not just the criminals!

I know that the argument is that if guns were easily available then we would end up like the States with huge crime problems. But we have that anyway, it's caused by pathetic judges and crap politicians refusing to lock criminals away and a refusal to deal with the scum dealing heroin and crack cocaine.

Anyway, it's just a thought, and an excuse to show a half naked bird with a gun. See all the pics here.

This months theme. Adults Only

Well it's April already and another month means another theme. Last month we all drooled over all those gorgeous babes in their bikini's. This month it's going to be short skirts. So, all through the month of April I will be featuring hot bodied babes in short skirts. To see the first of these babes click here.

Anna again. Adults Only

Back by popular request we have that hot eighteen year old Ukranian babe Anna. Enjoy all the pics here.

Just to Celebrate

Just to celebrate being back in action I thought I would show some gorgeous babes. After all, with no babe of the week last week you must be gagging for some. So here is the lovely Milli. See all the pics here.

Apologies

Hi all. Sorry for the disruption in service, had a few problems with my pc and wasn't able to update last week. But everything is fine now and hopefully normal service is resumed.

Bikini Babe Lucia. Adults Only

Here is yet another bikini babe to get you in the mood for summer. This time it's nineteen year old Lucia spilling out of that tiny bini top. See all the pics here.

The things they do. Adults Only

Here are a few pics of American college girls getting drunk and having fun. See the full gallery here.

Wendy Cutie. Adults Only

Here is another cute eighteen year old featured here for no other reason than I like her. See her strip and play with a toy in this full hardcore gallery.

One last time. Adults Only

And, for the last time this morning, we have another gallery of the lovely Sarah Sexton. See all of this gallery here.

Here she is again. Adults Only

This is the second Sarah sexton gallery, this weeks babe of the week. See all the pics from this gallery here.

Babe of the week. Adults Only

This cute babe is the gorgeous Sarah Sexton and she is this weeks babe of the week. I couldn't decide which of her galleries I liked the most so this is the first of a few I am putting on. See all the pics in this gallery here.

Blonde in a Bikini. Adults Only

Keeping to this months bikini theme here we have a blonde in a bikini. See all of the pics here.

Not a beach in sight.

Well you might have known it couldn't last. All those posts and no pics of women! It must be at least an hour since I last pit a babe on here! Anyway, you might see a few more over the next couple of hours as I've been on the customised Rothmans again. Plus two of the light bulbs have gone above the computer and I'm too wrecked to change them. Also I have just about worn out most of the letters on my keyboard and now I'm getting old my eyes are pretty much shagged as well.

Which all means I can't see me doing much typing tonight. So you will have to put up with naked and half naked women. Sorry. I will try to put some cars and bikes in as well but don't hold your breath.

Anyway, without a beach in sight here is a babe in a bikini. See all the pics here.

Drunk and a blonde

After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, ''You wanna hear a blonde joke?'' The person replies, ''I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?''
The man thinks for a while and replies, ''Not if I have to explain it three times.''

Perfume

One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi."
The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."

So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."

Prisonor of War

About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic."
"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."'

"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Guilders for every week he stayed."

"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."

"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."

"What is that, my son?"

"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

The Wonder Bra

Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?

A. Because when you take it off, you wonder where her tits went!

The Model Lodger

Doris and Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a lodger in their terrace house.
After a few days, a young attractive woman applied for the room and explained that she was a model working in a near-by city center studio for a few weeks and that she would like the room from Mondays to Thursdays, but would pay for the whole week.

Doris showed her the house and they agreed to start straight away.

"There's just one problem," explained the model. "Because of my job, I have to have a bath every night, and I notice you don't have a bath."

"That's not a problem," replied Doris. "We have a tin bath out in the yard and we bring it into the living room in front of the fire and fill it with hot water."

"What about your husband? asked the model.

"Oh, he plays darts most weekdays, so he will be out in the evenings," replied Doris.

"Good," said the model. "Now that that's been settled, I'll go to the studio and see you tonight."

That evening, Fred dutifully went to his darts match while Doris prepared the bath for the model. After stripping off, the model stepped into the bath. Doris was amazed to see that she had no pubic hair.

The model noticed Doris' staring eyes, so she smiled and explained that it is part of her job to shave herself, especially when modeling swimmer or underclothes.

Later when Fred returned, Doris related this oddity and he does not believe her.

"It's true, I tell you!" said Doris. "Look, if you don't believe me, tomorrow night I'll leave the curtains slightly open and you can peek in and see for yourself."

The next night, Fred left as usual and Doris prepared the bath for the model. As the model stepped naked into the bath, Doris stood behind her.

Doris looked towards the curtains and pointed towards the model's naked pubic area. Then she lifted up her skirt and wearing no panties, pointed to her own hairy mass.

Later Fred returned and they retired to bed.

"Well, do you believe me now?" she asked Fred. "Yes, he replied. "I've never seen anything like it in my life. But why did you lift up your skirt and show yourself?"

"Just to show you the difference," answered Doris. "But I guess you've seen me millions of times."

"Yes, said Fred, I have - but the rest of the dart team hadn't."

50 Dollar bet

This guy who works at a pickle factory comes home and hands his wife 50 dollars. She asked him what it was from and he told her that he won it in a bet -- the guys at the factory bet him 50 dollars that he wouldn't stick his dick in the pickle slicer.
The wife was surprised and said she wanted to make sure he was still intact. He pulled down his pants and, indeed, it was all there, unharmed.
“But what about the pickle slicer,” asked the wife, perplexed. “Oh, she liked it too,” answered the husband.

Wednesdays Budget: My Predictions

Well its that time of year again, the day when a scotsman stands up in parliament and tell the English how much more money he is going to take from them. Yes it's budget day. So I have decided to make some predictions.

If you are single it will cost you more money. If you drive it will cost you more money. If you are drink it will cost you more money. If you smoke it will cost you more money. If you are employed it will cost you more money. If you live in the South of England it will cost you more money.

If you are an illegal immigrant you will be better off. If you are a benefits scrounger with lots of kids you will be better off. If you are an unmarried mother you will be better off. If you are a career woman whose husband already earns a good wage you will be better off. If you are Scottish, Welsh, Irish or live in Northern England you will be better off. If you are a criminal you will be better off.

If you are a New Labour voter you should be ashamed of yourself. But you won't be, because you will also be an unmarried mother, long term unemployed, Scotish, Welsh, Irish, live in the North of England, be a career woman whose husband already earns a good wage or a criminal.

Beach Babe. Adults Only

This blonde babe posing on the beach is Sonya, from Russia would you believe. She is wearing half a bikini so as far as I'm concerned thats good enough to feature her. See all the pics here.

Who?

Last month the minger of the month was worlds worse TV presenter Davina Macall. Now, thanks to her awful new chat show, the BBC has had it's worst ever week night viewing figures. Just who is she shagging to keep being given huge amounts of tax payers money to host complete and utter and crap?

Babe of the week. Adults Only

This weeks babe is hot brunette Linde Lush. See more of this long legged, big boobed babe here in the full gallery.

British Bikini Babe. Adults Only

Here is hot British teen Naomi again, this time in a tiny bikini. See more of this hot babe here.

Great British Pussy. Adults Only

Well we had a couple of French slappers earlier so just to even things up a bit here is a fine looking English bird. See all the pics here.

Babe in a black bikini. Adults Only

Well here is another one of those babes in a bikini I promised you. This is Lucia. Take a much closer look here.

More from France. Adults Only

Now I don't know about you but there are a few things that immediately spring to mind when I think of France, the Eiffel Tower, smelly cheese, sweaty armpits, women with moustaches and the ability to surrender at the drop of a hat are a few that spring to mind. But they do produce the odd shagable piece of crumpet like this one. Probably a half breed. Take a look at the full gallery here.

Sorry. Adults Only

Sorry, haven't had much time to update this week and don't have a lot now so I guess you will just have to put up with a couple of pics of babes for now. Here is the first, Mia from France, proving that the only good thing to come out of France isn't just the tunnel.

Nikki it is. Adults Only

Well, nothing better came up so this weeks babe of the week is Nikki. It's hard work trying to pick the babe of the week and do all my other stuff as well so I've had an idea. Why doesn't one of you check out the pics on here and on my other sites each week then mail me on a Friday telling me which one is your favourite? A little bit of audience participation. Anyway see all of Nikki here.

Nextdoor Nikki. Adults Only

Well she don't live next door to me I can assure you. I'd have been arrested by now if she did. This is Nextdoor Nikki. She may be babe of the week yet but I still have half hour to go yet so maybe someone else will take my fancy. Anyway take a look, great full screen shots and the body is quite tempting. See more of Nikki here.

Blonde Luba in a bikini

Well we just had a brunette and that is as good a reason as any to now have a blonde. So here we have Luba in a bikini. See her both in and out of it here in the full gallery.

Bikini Babe Eloise. Adults Only

Here we have Eloise in a bikini. So why have I put her on here? If you had been paying attention you would know. See all of the gallery here.