Another fine mess. Adults Only

A couple of years back the drug of choice in our Prisons used to be marijuana. The prisoners used to smoke it to help them get through the day and it had the added bonus of keeping them docile and making it easier for the prison officers to control them.

Then the newspapers got on the case and decided it was a huge problem. There was no evidence to suggest it was a problem but the one thing you can guarantee with the press in this country is that facts are irrelavant as long as there is a sensational headline to be had.

So to solve this mythical problem and appease the idiots in the press the government, never ones to miss a bandwagon when they see one, decided to introduce compulsory drug testing for all prisoners. And it worked! The marijuana "problem" in our prisons dissapeared!

You see marijuana stays in your blood stream for at least a month and can be detected up to three months after you have smoked it meaning that any prisoner who smoked it was guaranteed to be caught.

So now our prisoners all take heroin intead! Because heroin is gone from your system in a couple of days it is much less likely that they will be caught. And now instead of a fairly docile prison polulation our prison officers have to deal with jumkies desperate for their next fix, more overdoses and people completely out of their minds from the effects of this drug.

Then when they are released we have even more junkies roaming our streets, trying to hook more people on the drug to pay for their own habit and robbing and mugging the rest of us and creating even more crime.

So in a bid to increase their profits our wonderful newspapers have actually created a huge problem that impacts on society far more than prisoners smoking marijuana ever did! And our weak willed government let them do it! What a farce!

Here is a bird.