What would have happened here?

Robert Lee Brock, a Virginia prison inmate, decided to take a new approach to the legal system. After filing a number of unsuccessful lawsuits against the prison system, Brock sued himself. He claimed his civil rights and religious beliefs were violated when he allowed himself to get drunk. After all, it was inebriation that created his cycle of committing crimes and being incarcerated. He demanded $5 million from himself. However, since he didn’t earn an income behind bars, he felt the state should pay. Needless to say, the case was thrown out.

But that was in America, where they don't have the ludicrous Human Rights act that Billy Liar signed us up to when he was in charge. Over here Cherie Blair would probably end up representing him, at the tax payers expense of course. She would have argued that not enough had been done to stop him drinking and causing these problems therefore society would have been negligant and contributed to him being in prison.

The government would have settled out of court, he would have got paid, she would have got paid and the taxpayer would have got shafted as usual. Next time I am coming back as a lawyer.