Castonya's night out.

After being pretty ill for the past few weeks I decided that now we were feeling a bit better Peter and I should have a night out. However the miserable git wasn’t interested so I decided to go on my own. I decided to go up the West End but the first thing I needed was transport to and from the station so I asked Abdul next door if he could do me a couple of cab rides. Well he was busy but, kind bloke that he is, he offered to lend me his camel.

Yes it’s true, he has a camel! It lives in the spare bedroom along with his brother and his wife and kids. I was a bit worried at first because I wasn’t sure if riding a camel was legal but I figured that if his license to ride a camel in the Sahara Desert also covered him to drive a cab in London then my English driving license must cover me to ride a camel. So I jumped on and got myself down to the station.

I had a great time, had a few beers in a few different pubs and even found one with an English barmaid! I knew she was English because she couldn’t read or write, got my change wrong three times, was a size 20 and had tit’s the size of a Labour Politicians ego.

When I’d finally had enough to drink I got on the train home and noticed that the blonde in the mini skirt who just happened to be sitting opposite me wasn’t wearing any knickers. Obviously I had a good look and was amazed when her lips suddenly pursed and her pussy blew me a kiss! Three times this happened and I couldn’t help myself, I had to say something.

“It must like you” she told me, “Why don’t you try putting a finger in?”

“You’re not trying to say it whistles as well!” I laughed.

But it did! We left three people on the platform at Putney and some poor bird got her knockers caught in the sliding doors and ended up at Barnes!

Anyway I got back to my local station, went to the car park to get the camel and it was gone! Somebody had nicked it! So I called the police and got the usual recorded announcement that all their officers were busy handing out tickets for smoking in public so wouldn’t be able to come out. It included a number to ring and get a crime number for insurance purposes so when I got home I rang it.

“So what is the camel’s name?” the Asian in the call centre asked.

“No idea” I answered.

“Colour?”

“No idea” I admitted.

“How many humps?”

“Not sure” I told her.

“Sex?”

“Female” I told her, definitely Female.”

“So you don’t know the camels name, you don’t know what colour it is and you haven’t a clue how many humps it has. Why are you so certain it is female?”

“Easy” I told her. “When I rode it down to the station people kept pointing and saying look at the c**t on the camel!”

And at least I didn’t end the night with the hump!