If you want to get visitors to a web site you have to have key words. These are the words that when people type them into a search engine bring epople to your site. Depending on your key words you get a different sort of visitor. So I have put together a list of keywords and the sort of people who will visit you if you use them.
Minger: Cherie Blair fans.
Diving: Chelsea and Portugese football fans.
Liars: Tony Blair, Ken Livingstone and New Labour fans.
Fraudulent: People looking for the Labour party mainifesto.
Personal Freedom: Security forces from all over the world.
Gutter Press: Sun and Mirror readers.
Marijuana: One time visitors because they will never remember your site address again.
Rucksacks: muslims
Slave Trade: Eastern Europeans looking for work.
Big Brother: Saddo's with no friends.
Celebrity Upskirt: Saddo's with credit cards.
Sheep: Welshmen
Bargain: Scotsmen
Unemployed: John Prescott.
Skool Gurls: Anyone who learnt English under New Labour's education policy.
Finally, whatever you do, don't mention, fat, Macdonalds, Nuclear war, Iran, oil, racism, arrogant, obnoxious or friendly fire. Because once the yanks turn up you can never get rid of them again.
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