No, I am not. I'm supposed to be racing. Practising actually. Le Mans, in a 1976 Ford GT 40. A lovely car to look at but a real pain to drive! I'm used to anti lock brakes, traction control, adjustable shocks, air dams, all the essentials.
What I've got is a 600BHP unguided missile with drum brakes at the back, a top speed of over 200mph and a suspension bought from Kwik Fit. I'm supposed to guide this thing around the track as fast as possible. It's not easy.
Then we come to the track, Le Mans, about 100 miles long with enough corners to make the Pakistani's a serious rival to Tescos. Well maybe not 100 miles but you know what I mean, 5 minute laps! I'm supposed to learn that? Are they having a laugh?
Against the computer then maybe eventually I could get there. But I'm supposed to be racing real people on the Internet on Sunday and I can't even get round a lap without crashing at the moment.
So I thought, I'm going to be last anyway so sod it lets update the website. So you all got lucky tonight!
Now here is a bird.
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