So many answers!

I see in my absence C has been philosophising about relationships between men and women - can we be just friends, etc? I would like to say YES unequivocally! But as C has recognised life is not that simple. But here are some answers and perhaps more questions.

Most women like men's company but do not necessarily want to "shag" all of them. Surely that can be true for men too? I see no problem with the concept of "shag buddies" but the reality is different. Sex with a male friend you only see very occasionally can be ok and hassle-free. There is no commitment, no expectation, no arrangements about going to the cinema next week, no holidays to plan,..

But sex with a friend with whom you have regular contact - a true "buddy" who knows your schedule better than you do, who you do go to the cinema with, and plan events with, that is completely different. Sleeping together, sex or not, is an intimate act. Inevitably, unless a "Harry met Sally" moment happens, one of you ends up wanting more out of the relationship than the other.

The what if's beg more questions. They work both ways though chaps. The number of times us girls "educate" and help blokes to open their hearts, find their feminine side, choose gifts for other women,...to suddenly be attending their weddings. And thinking hang on, that could have been me.

But I think true friends can handle all of that emotional stuff as long as they're honest with each other and talk about it. Surely if you care about someone you would rather keep them in your life than let another bloke or bird get in the way.

For fun, I am going to contest C's use of language re his "take" on when women and men are in a relationship: "men are quite happy to let them have male friends,..." We are not dogs on a leash to be let off at our owner's whim! No woman or man owns another - they choose to come together to form a partnership but retain their individual characters.

As for the perfection/fussy question - absolute bollocks!

Women rarely have realistic ideals. Yes they have pin up thoughts [Jamie, Bryan, Bolo, talking personally...] but that's not what happens re who we fall in love with or decide to date seriously. We actually care most about personality and compatibility - someone who makes us laugh, whose company we enjoy, with whom we have chemistry. Yes there has to be a fancy factor, a spark but if that comes without the rest then there's nothing of substance.

It's not a matter of lowering standards, it's all to do with getting the ingredients that work for both of you. And sometimes they need a bit of shaking and stirring to come to the fore.

Here's a couple who had chemistry.