All I wanted was a form stamped. Adults Only

As Mitsubishi were finding it difficult to do the only thing they exist for, provide a new car, I cancelled my order for a Colt and went to Vauxhall instead. Everything was fine. The Vauxhall Dealer, Now Motors in Kew, were brilliant. Motability were really helpful and all was going well. But then I had to get a form stamped by Twickenham Job Centre which was where it all went wrong.

When you first sign up to the Motability scheme you have to get a form stamped authorising the DLA to pay part of your disability living allowance to Motability. You are then given a "safe date" a date from when you are allowed to take delivery of the car. Because I had already signed up my safe date was May 7th but because I had a new agreement my customer reference number had changed so the paperwork was changed to reflect this and my local Job Centre, Twickenham, had to stamp the form. Something that should take seconds to do.

Firstly you can't just walk in and have the form stamped, you have to make an appointment. I believe the reason for this is that if they fill their days with ten minute appointment slots to do something that takes thirty seconds they don't actually have to do very much work.

So Friday morning I went down to have my form stamped. The rudest woman I have ever had to deal with in my life, and remember I worked for British Rail at Wimbledon Station and drove a cab for years, was assigned to stamp my form. You took one look at it and refused to sign it saying I have to have a new safe date.

So I explained that Motability were already being paid my DLA, that a new safe date wasn't needed and that all she need do is stamp the form.

"Don't tell me how to do my job" she snapped. "If I decide not to deal with you then nobody here will deal with you"

So then she rings the DLA and, because I already have a safe date they quite obviously won't issue another one.

"Well I can't stamp the form without a safe date" she tells me as she puts down the phone.

I explain that the safe date is already printed on the form, all she has to do is stamp it! But she insists that it can't be done so I ask her what happens now only for her to tell me she doesn't know and it is not her job to find out.

By now I have the serious hump and leave before I end up telling this rude arrogant stuck up bitch exactly what I think of her. I went back to the Vauxhall dealer, they got onto Motability and the DLA and the answer is the same. All that the Job Centre need to do is stamp the form. So the DLA tell me to go back to Twickenham.

So off I go back to Twickenham Job Centre. I explain to the man at the reception desk that I need my form stamped and he tells me I have to make another appointment. I tell him that is not good enough, that it was one of their staff who had got it wrong and I need my form stamped now. He tells me I have to make another appointment. I tell him I want to see a manager. He says I can't. So I demand to see a manager. Eventually he agrees but not until the security guard has threatened to throw me out! After I laughed in this security guards face and explained to him that I was having a private conversation with the receptionist and if he butted in again I would break him in half they finally agreed to let me see a manager, when one eventually became available.

Now the soppy little idiot of a security guard was now crapping himself because a nine stone man with lung cancer had just threatened him so while I sat down to wait he ran away with his tail between his legs and a grown up version turned up to replace him. While this full size man kept an eye on me I sat and waited. And waited. And waited.

Then I had an idea. I went up to the security guard and told him that I would need my medication soon and I wasn't prepared to leave until somebody had stamped my form. I suggested he contact a doctor immediately and get some oxygen on stand by for when I eventually collapsed because I hadn't had my meds.

The result was amazing! A manager appeared almost immediately, looked at my form, picked up a rubber stamp and stamped my form! Just like the ignorant bitch I was saddled with in the first place should have done!

Thanks to this arrogant bitch's attitude problem it nearly three hours to get a form stamped. I was threatened by the wimpiest security guard I have ever seen and generally treated like a piece of dirt.

But they are not going to get away with it. I have already complained to the DLA, the DWP and my MP and even if it takes me the rest of my life I will make sure that the scum who work in Job Centres learn that they are supposed to be there to help people not intimidate them.

Here is a bird.