Naked Pairs Gold Medal. Adults Only

So here are our last alternative olypians. These are the winners of the gold medal in the Naked Pairs event. See their full entry here.

Naked Pairs Silver Medal. Adults Only

These two babes are the silver medal winners in the Naked Pairs event. See their full entry here.

Naked Pairs Bronze Medal. Adults Only

Today was the last day of the real Olympics so also the last day of ours. Our final event was the naked pairs and here we have the bronze medal winners.

See their entry here.

The Journey of man

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but had no direction. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big tits.

Just an example. Adults Only

Here we have an example of the quality of crumpet that we now feature on our sister site Simply Cute. This Eastern European babe is Rusya and she is one fine looking woman!

To see more of Rusya click here.

Or click here to visit Simply Cute

While we are on the subject

While we are on the subject of Pete Townshend and child molesters I have a question for Pete Townshend.

Just when is that book going to be published?

Garry Glitter arrested!

Gary Glitter has just been arrested trying to swim into the country via the Thames Estuary. They found him out of breath bobbing up and down on a small buoy. They belive he was heading for Richmond to join up with Pete Townshend to form a new band called Kiddy and the Fiddlers.

My row with Clacton parking office continues.

A while back I posted the letter I sent to Clacton parking office. I then got back the reply on the right.

I have now responded to this letter and here is my reply in full.

Dear Mrs Davies

Thank you for your letter dated 23rd July 2008

Firstly I must point out that I have already made you a reasonable offer of £10 per month, an offer that you accepted when you cashed the first cheque.

As you have already accepted my offer of £10 a month I fail to understand why I should provide you with personal financial details. Should these details prove necessary I will of course provide them, once I receive the correct form with the data protection statement required by law when requesting this sort of private and personal information.

I haven’t enclosed a cheque for the next payment because nowhere in your previous letters does it state who I make the cheque payable to. I left the last one blank but have since been advised that it is not safe to send a cheque through the post like this as anybody could cash it. Once you have notified me as to who I make the cheque payable to, or given me details so I can set up a direct debit through the bank, I will make the next and subsequent payment.

I should also point out that as somebody with a terminal illness I value my time very highly and don’t feel I should have to waste it pointing out legal requirements and requesting information that somebody in your position should know and supply automatically.

Therefore if I have to engage in anymore correspondence, other than making the £10 a month payment you accepted, then I will have no alternative but to charge you for my time and efforts.

Yours sincerely.

Peter McClarnon

Britney Spears is at it again.

Yes, celebrity slapper Britney Spears is showing her knickers again. this time Britney flashes her pink panties in a couple of upskirt photos. So come on all you weirdo's who spend your time looking for half wits like Britney Spears flashing. This is the place for you!

Skimpiest School Uniform. Gold Medal. Adults Only

The Gold medal winner in the skimpiest school uniform event is nineteen year old blonde Tera. See her winning entry here.

Skimpiest School Uniform. Silver Medal. Adults Only

Our skimpiest school uniform silver medal winner is brunette Krissy. See her second place entry here.

Skimpiest School Uniform. Bronze Medal. Adults Only

Bronze medal winner in the skimpiest school uniform competition is redhead Kate. See her third place entry here.

Can Gordon sink any lower?

The governemt have decided to make it easier for pensioners to claim help they are entitled to by simplyfying the process of claiming for pension credits and other benefits. Great you might think. Except that at the same time they have decided to reduce the time limit for back claims from a year to three months.

So anybody who didn't understand the system, was missinformed by incompetent staff or just didn't realise they were entitled to benefits will now lose out.

Once again this heartless government has found a way to save a few quid by stealing it from those who need it most.

This government are scum and if you are a Labour supporter then that makes you scum as well.

Two American Tourists

Two American tourists were walking through London when they came across a dog licking it's own bum.

"Whats that dog doing?" one of them asked.

"Don't worry" said the other. "It's just bitten a Labour voter and is trying to get the taste out of it's mouth"

As you all know.

As you all know Castonya and I have lung cancer. This means we can't work and have to live on benefits. This, according to the staff at the different benefits agencies we have to deal with, automatically makes us second class citizens and scroungers.

A perfect example is our sick certificate from the doctors. We have to provide a new one every three months and if it is even a day late our benefits are stopped. As they obviously expect us to suddenly get well again I have asked them on several occasions if they could send the miracle cure for cancer they have found to my doctors but to date they haven't replied.

Contrast this to somebody else I know. He is off sick with a bad back and recently went to see a doctor from the benefits agency. He was asked a few questions then told to come back in 2011. He doesn't need to get sick certificates, see his doctor or anything.

So if you are going to get ill under this government make sure you get the right illness. Get a bad back or bad kneees or something but whatever you do don't get something as trivial as cancer. Because if you do you will spend half your life being hassled by the people who are supposed to be helping you.

Wanted for Mass Murder.

Have you seen this man? He is wanted for Mass Murder. As leader of the Labour party he is preciding over the systematic murder of countless English people.

Because of his and Labour's incompetence almost five thousand people a year die in our filthy hospitals. Because of his tax and waste policies countless pensioners will freeze to death in their own homes this winter.

Because of Labours failure to deal with crime hundreds of people are dying on our streets, shot or stabbed to death by scum that any decent government would have locked up years ago. Then even more die, killed by thugs released early from prison to make room for council tax protesters.

Many more die on our roads, killed by tiredness caused by sitting in artificially created traffic jams, created purely as an excuse to raise taxes to ease the congestion they created. Then there are the others killed by the extra pollution these government made traffic jams cause.

When you add on those killed by stress because they just cannot cope with the god awful society they now have to live in and the soldiers killed as this unelected fool trys to force democracy on others then this man becomes the biggest serial killer this country has ever seen.

Anybody who voted Labour should be ashamed of themselves because the blood is well and truly on your hands as well.

What a bunch of clowns. Adults Only

Last night England's so called football team played a friendly against the Czech Republic at Wembley. And, as usual, they were hopeless. As usual the manager will get the blame but we keep changing the manager but whoever is in charge the result is the same. A team that just cannot play football or just can't be bothered to play football.

The players we had on the pitch all have three things in common. They all play for topclass football clubs. They all earn obscene amounts of money for doing very little and they are all incapable of playing in an England shirt.

So surely it is now time for a change? We could start with the manager. An England team needs an English manager not an Italian tax dodger. Harry Redknapp would be the perfect choice. He may not have won any major competitions but the results he acheives at small clubs with very little money speak for themselves.

Then we should kick out the so called stars. Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard, John Terry etc should all be told that their England careers are over and they should be replaced with people who want to play for England and whose minds are on the game and not on how they are going to spend the huge amounts of money they earn.

Until this overpaid, lazy, self centered bunch of parasites are shown the door then the England football team will never win anything.

Here is a bird.

Dear Castonya

Dear Castonya

My name is Maggie, I am a nineteen year old student and I need some advice. I have beeen giving my boyfriend oral sex for a while now but have never actually finished him off with my mouth. I intend to do so on the bank holiday weekend and have a question.

Basically what do I do with the result? Should I spit or should I swallow? Hope you can help.

Maggie.


Dear Maggie

Well I know you girls agonise over things like this for hours but the truth is that it really doesn't matter. Once the guy finishes what you do with the product is of no interest to him whatsoever. All he is interested in is the service you provided.

But there is one thing you should always remember. Never try to kiss him afterwards!

Hope that helps.

Castonya

A blonde and a car. Adults Only

The blonde is Alison Angel. The car? Who knows but from what you can see it looks pretty good.

See if you can work out what it is here.

One of the best upskirts you will see anywhere! Adults Only

This brunette, who lets face it isn't too terrible to kook at anyway, is on here not for this pic but for one in the gallery that I can't show here without getting closed down! I am talking about one of the best upskirt pics you will see anywhere. She then puts on a bit of a show with a toy. But it's worth taking a look just for the upskirt pic.

Take a look here.

Summer on a Suzuki. Adults Only

No I don't mean that this years summer has got on it's bike and left, although it certainly seems like it! This blonde in the tight jeans is called Summer and as you can see the bike is a Suzuki. So you get Summer on a Suzuki!

Take a look at both her and the bike here.

While Wolf was away.

While Mr Wolf was away we decided to get our own back and raided his place and got this picture of his computer set up. Why all those big guns? Is it the same as what they say about having a big car?

More help for selfish bitches.

This joke of a government is now going to change the law and make companies pay women for a year when they are off having a baby. Why?

No doubt the feminists are pleased, but only because they are as stupid as the selfish cows who think that they should be able to have babies and keep their careers.

When a woman has a baby there is only one job that matters. Bringing up the child they have given birth to. Everything else takes second place. And the only way to do that properly is to stay at home and look after it yourself.

Rather than encourage these heartless, selfish bitches to dump their kids on somebody else while they persue their careers the government should penalise them. Any woman with kids who works full time should pay tax at double the normal rate. Because until these stupid women realise that their kids are their own responsibility and not everybody else's then their children will continue to grow up as selfish as their mothers, with no respect for anybody else and expecting everybody to do everything for them.

Once a woman has a child her place is in the home bringing that child up. It worked for thousands of years and is one of the main reason human beings became civilised. It is also no coincidence that since these moronic career woman decided to shirk their responsibilities that society has become more violent, children more badly behaved and crime has gone through the roof.

I dont get this at Tesco's! Adults Only

I usually get KYP washed at Tesco's or Sainsbury's while I am doing my shopping. But I don't get service like this! Maybe I should look further afield.

To see what a car wash should be like then click here.

Non Nude Bikini. Gold Medal

And here we have the gold medal winner in the non nude bikini event. Take a much better look at her winning entry here in the full gallery.

Non Nude Bikini. Silver Medal

Here we have the silver medal winner in the non nude bikini event. Take a better look at her entry here.

Non Nude Bikini. Bronze Medal

Here we have the bronze medal winner of the non nude bikini event. See more of this lovely brunette here.

An older bird. Adults Only

Well all these young birds are great to look at but lets face it we are all getting older and our chances of getting hold of one are not that high. So I figured why not feature an older bird now and again and try and keep some perspective on things. So here is old biddy Leticia.

Enjoy her here.

Wolf is back.

Mr Wolf is now home from Wales and says he will never make that mistake again. He has also broken into my sisters place and sneaked out a pic of her boyfriend Tim's computer set up. You all know Tim. He used to be paranoid but then the bastards got him. Anyway this is his PC.

Sometimes I just dispair.

I have just got an e-mail, from a bird, telling me that I made a mistake and posted two pictures of my computer set up instead of one of mine and one of Castonya's.

What planet are these people on? Castonya and I share the same head! Which means that we share the same body! Which, unsurprisingly, means we also share the same computer!

What did she think we do? When I have control of the head I use my PC then when Castonya takes over I pack it away in a box and he gets his out? What part of Schizophrenia does she not understand?

Naked Beach Babe. Gold Medal. Adults Only

This gorgeous blonde playing in the sand won the Gold medal hands down. See why here in her full naked beach babe gallery.

Naked Beach Babe. Silver Medal. Adults Only

And here we have the silver medal winner getting naked in the sand. See her full entry here.

Naked Beach Babe. Bronze Medal. Adults Only

Well at the boring olmpics they have the beach volleyball. Here at PMT we have something far more interesting. The naked beach babe. Here is the bronze medal winner getting naked in the sun.

This is just like old times. Adults Only

This just like old times, sitting here updating the site, Castonya safely locked away in his box. I just had a food break. Had them new Korean meatballs. You should try them, they are the dogs bollocks.

Now I have a fully customised Rothman to enjoy while I decide if I should carry on updating, go and play golf or just watch some porn.

Anyway while I make my mind up here is a bird to look at.

This one is at it as well! Adults Only

Two in one night! Yes, this bird has exactly the same party trick as the one below! You did start below right? You do know how to read a blog? You start at the bottom? Just checking.

Take a look here if you want but once again it is hardcore.

I cant believe she is doing that! Adults Only

Well while I have control of the head I thought that I would help Castonya out and judge a few catergories in the alternative olympics. And in one of the first galleries I looked at I found this bird doing this! I couldn't believe my eyes! Her name is Leslie and she isn't that special but she could certainly liven up a party!

Take a look here if you dare but be warned it's hardcore!

A public health announcement. Adults Only

As somebody with cancer I feel I should make a special plea to all of you smokers out there. Don't buy them in this country, buy them in Corfu!

They are £25 to £30 a carton cheaper there than here and you can legally bring 16 cartons back with you so you get the holiday in the sun for free! You can still go in May or October for less than £200!

Then when you smoke them you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you perfectly legally screwed the government and had a week eating, drinking and having fun instead of giving them the tax!

They also won't then be able to then use this tax to provide free health care to the non smokers and non drinkers who contribute far less taxes yet clog up our hospitals being treated for self inflicted injuries that could easily have been avoided if they had just of had a drink and a fag and chilled out.

Here is a fit nineteen year old.

Well done you scousers.

Okay this is a bit complicated so pay attention. Carlsberg sponser Liverpool football club. Liverpool football supporters hate the Sun because they falsly reported bad stuff about Liverpool when there was a disaster a good few years back and ninety odd Liverpool fans were killed. Then Carlsberg decided to do a promotion the Sun offering free coupons for a free pint over the bank holiday weekend. So Liverpool fans went beserk and apparantly it is now cancelled. Well done you thick scousers, you just made the Sun's day!

Both the Sun and Carlsberg were doing this to gain publicity for their products. And that is exactly what they got! But instead of it costing them a lot of money in giving away pints, printing coupons and exchanging them etc they got it for free! And all thanks to you dickheads!

But I have to ask. Are you going to be boycotting and abusing your captain, Steven Gerrard, who, for a large sum of money, had his autobiography serialised in the News of the World, a newspaper owned by the Sun? Just how far are you going take this grudge? Will you all abuse Danish players because Carlsberg is made in Denmark? Will the protestants among you be abusing Torres because he is Spanish and the Spanish lead the Inquisition?

And what if Carsberg were to stop sponsering your team of failures? How would you pay the ref for needlessly sending of opposition players in Champions League games? How would you pay them to disallow perfextly good goals by the opposition and allow dodgy goals by your team? Maybe you could get the benefits agency to sponser you? After all they already keep 25% of the population of Liverpool in beer, fags and Sky Sports subscriptions.

This year Liverpool is laughingly the city of culture. The only culture in Liverpool seems to be the mold growing between the ears of Liverpool football suporters.

A post card from Wolf.

Mr Wolf has been away for a couple of days. Idiot went to Wales! Of all the places he could have gone he chose Wales! Didn't he read Castonya's travel guide?

Anyway he has kindly sent a post card so I figured I would share it with you all.

Black panties. Gold Medal. Adults Only

Winner of the gold medal in the black panties event was the very lovely Olivia. See her full free winning entry here.

Black panties. Silver Medal. Adults Only

Second place in the black panties event went to brunette babe Rose. Take a look at her in those transparent panties in her full free photo gallery.

Black panties. Bronze Medal. Adults Only

Third place in the black panties event was Carolyn. See the full free set of photographs here.

Bloody Wolf and his camera!

After years of doing nothing Mr Wolf has suddenly gone mad with his camera. he has even infiltrated our sanctuary and taken these photo's of mine and Peter's computer set ups. So now you can all see the conditions we have to work in.

Red Fishnets. Gold Medal. Adults Only

And the winner of the Gold medal is Rachel. Take a look at this fit babe's entry here in her full free photo gallery.

Red Fishnets. Silver Medal. Adults Only

The silver medal in this class went to Zolda. See her full set of pics here.

Red Fishnets. Bronze Medal. Adults Only

Here we have the third place contestant in the red fishnets competition. See the full entry here.

The Sleazy Chair!

Official site photographer Mr Wolf has just been on an undercover mission and posing as a baby oil salesman has managed to get the very first excusive picture of Mr Sleazy's computer set up. So here it is for you all to have a look at.

This advert has been banned. Adults Only

This advert, by a French sweet company advertising a new brand of lollipop, has just been banned.

To see why take a look here.

Salome, for one reason only. Adults Only

This bird is on here for one reason only. Her name is Salome and she is an Arab. And putting up a whole gallery of pics of an Arab bird getting her kit off is a sure fire way of upsetting the muslim followers of the cult of islam.

So if you really want to upset one of the lunatic fringe then take a look here.

He is getting there!

A little while back we despatched the official site photographer, Mr Wolf, to Brands Hatch to get some exclusive pics of a motor racing event. And he nearly got it right!

Yes he remembered the camera this time, and it even had fresh batteries so it worked as well! But unfortunately he forgot his wallet so all the pics were from outside looking in.

But hey, he is getting there. He even managed to get a shot of a car in one of the pics!