I am starting my own Political Party

As Peter has decided he wants to be elected I have decided that I am going to start my own political party. I have thought very carefully about it and have come up with a cunning plan.

Most of my MP's will be straight out of university and will never have done a days work in their lives. Most of them will have studied law and will know exactly how to make things appear straight and honest even when they are not. they will be experts in manipulating facts and figures and will know exactly how to appear good in the eyes of the press.

They will all be fairly well off, will never have known what it is like to be poor and will have nothing at all in common with my target voters, the poor. They will all have private health insurance and wont have to suffer the NHS except when there is a photo opportunity. Their kids will all go to private schools and most of them will actually be from another country so any rules they enforce in England won't actually apply to them.

I will use every problem the country faces as an excuse to raise taxes, the revenue from which I will send to the countries my MP's hail from to ensure that they get elected.

I wont bother educating the children of the poor, sorting out public transport, the health service, dealing with crime or controlling illegal immigration. But I will make it legal for homosexuals to bugger sixteen year old boys in public toilets.

Motorists will be treated as criminals and I will use the phoney global warming scam as a scare mongering tool and as an excuse to once again raise taxes. I will introduce on the spot fines for everything and make it so that only the poor need obey the law.

I will promise the earth in my election manifesto then once I am elected I will completely ignore it and go back on my promises. I will fiddle with all the constituency boundaries and make it very difficult for any other party to oppose me and get elected.

Crime will go up, the prisons will be full, taxes will be at an all time high, kids will leave school unable to read and write. A stay in hospital will have a good chance of becoming a death sentance and the rich will get richer and the poor will get poorer.

My main agenda will be lining my pockets and getting myself re-elected so I can become even richer. Racism against the English will become the norm and minorities will be given precedence over the indigenous population.

I am going to call this party New Labour. Do you think people will be stupid enough to fall for it?