An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about?" Asked the barman?
"Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I,of course went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway to make a long story short,I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house.
We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"
"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky **stard. Was she pretty?
"Dunno'...Never found the head!"
Here is a bird
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