Greedy Truckers?

I have just been on the MSN forums, something I do now and again just to remind me how ignorant the average person is.

The people thay are slagging off at the moment are the Shell truck drivers. Because they want a pay rise but already earn £32,000 a year people are saying they are greedy. But what about the company that is refusing to pay them, Shell.

If they were to give the truckers the pay rise they want it would cost them less than an hours profit! This company earns billions, and they earn it because people like the truck drivers do all the hard work.

If Shell were to not only give them more money but reduce their hours to 36 hours a week and employ more drivers to do the extra work and boosting the economy by creating employment then it would cost them two hours profit.

These huge conglomorates like Shell need to start showing some social responsibility and go back to full employment at a decent wage and putting something back into the societies that are giving them their huge profits. The affect on society would be huge and the impact on their profits minimal.

To acuse the truck drivers of being greedy when the company refusing to give them more spends millions a year on acountants to avoid paying taxes back into the country that gives them their profits is beyond belief. To acuse the truckers of being greedy when the company refusing to give them more money earns more per minute than a trucker earns in his lifetime is beyond belief.

Anyone acusing the truckers of being greedy is saying that Shell need the money more than they do and anybody who thinks that is a complete moron.

We have the government we deserve.

During the week gormless Gordon told us that even though there is going to be a tanker drivers strike there would be no shortage of petrol. The result? Huge queues at the pumps as everybody stocks up on petrol!

Why? Quite simply because nobody now believes a word of what any politician says!

We have become so used to MP's, especially Labour MP's, lying to us everytime they open their mouths that if they say something we automatically believe the opposite. We have become conditioned to their lies and to their corruption. Most of feel they serve no useful purpose whatsover and are just a huge financial drain.

Just look at the situation at Labour. Many Labour MP's are voting for policies they don't agree with because a man who was never elected tells them to! They no longer represent the people of this country. They now represent themselves and have only one agenda. To get themselves relelected and stay on the gravy train.

To keep themselves in these cushy jobs all the main parties now court the minority groups, gays, immigrants, greens, muslims, etc and give them anything they want, quite often at the expense of against the wishes of and against the values of the majority, white,straight, English, Christian population.

They do this because we let them. They court and cater for minority groups because they know these people will go out and vote. They give us nothing because most of us majority are too lazy to get off their bums and vote or are just too bloody ignorant to realise that the only way things can change is if they vote.

If the white, straight, English, Christian majority bothered to vote then we would once more hold the upper hand and it would be our wishes, our needs and our beliefs they would have to respect.

But until we do that we are stuck with government we deserve.

A message to ITV. Adults Only

To all of you advertising bods at ITV who came up with their ridiculous new advertsising campaign I have a message.

This is how summer really feels!

Does anyone else find this disgusting?

The clown in charge of ruining this country, Gormless Gordon wasn't elected. The only people who voted for him were the idiots in his constituency. He also refuses to let us have the referendum on the EU that Billy Liar promised us.

Yet this unelected prat who quite obviously doesn't know the meaning of the word democracy or simply doesn't believe in it is in charge of our troops who are in Afghanistan and Iraq trying to force our brand of democracy on the population there.

Does anybody else find this disgusting?

A Banquet of hypocrisy

This week world leaders sat down to a seven course meal to discuss the world food shortage. Robert Mugabwe turned up and was quite rightly branded a hypocrit because he is currently starving a large percentage of the population of his country.

But what about gormless Gordon and the other EU leaders? They all agreed to a piece of legislation meaning that every country in the EU has to add 2.5% biofuel to their petrol and diesel.

Because of this ruling wheat growers all over the world are now selling their crops to be used as fuel rather than as food. This has created a world wide shortage, pushed the prive of wheat up and as a result has left millions of people all over the world with not enough food.

Unless this legislation is dumped immediately then gormless Gordon and the elected leaders of the other EU countries will be responsible for killing far more people than Mugabwe has.

Skinny dipping.

An elderly man in Texas had owned a large farm for several years. He had a beautiful large pond at the back of the property next to the road, and he'd fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and he'd planted some nice flowers and fruit trees next to the pond. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to look it over, as he hadn't been down there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard splashing and female voices shouting and laughing with glee.. As he came closer he saw that 5 young women had parked their car at the side of the road, climbed the fence and were skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went hurriedly splashing to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're naked and we're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned and yelled back, "I didn't come down here to
watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed the alligator."

Kyp has had her first bath!

Well Peter let me have the keys again today and on the way home from shopping I decided to stop for a pint. When I parked the river was still pretty low. Twenty minutes later this happened!

Everything is cool, just some damp carpets, but Peter says I will never get the keys again!

Another French babe. Adults Only

Finding hot French babes to put on here is proving more difficult than I thought. It seems hot crumpet is yet another thing the French can't do!

You see France is a lovely country to go camping in. It has great scenery, fantastic camp sites and wonderful rivers and lakes. But unfortunately it also has the French. And the French really are useless at just about everything.

Their food is awful, the wine not much better and they speak in that god awful language.

But anyway, here is another bird I found. But it was a long search.

Gina from France. Adults Only

This lovely French blonde is Gina. See a whole lot more of her here in this great gallery.

We are off to France. Adults Only

On the 16th we are taking Kyp to France just to give her a proper run. We will be camping in the Loire valley, near a place named Blois. So to get us in the mood I have decided to feature a few French birds.

See this French brunette here.

The Ten Commandments.

God went to the Arabs and said,
'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'

The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'
And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'

'Can you give us an example?'

'Thou shall not kill.'

'Not kill? We're not interested.'

So He went to the Africans and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Africans wanted an example, and the Lord said,
'Honor thy Father and Mother.'

'Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested.'

Then He went to the Mexicans and said,
'I have Commandments.'

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.'

'Not steal? We're not interested.'

Then He went to the French and said,
'I have Commandments.'

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'

'Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'

Finally, He went to the Jews and said,
'I have Commandments.'

'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'

'They're free.'

'We'll take 10.'



There, that should offend just about everybody.

We have our new car!

We finally took delivery of our new car on Friday! She is a 1.4 Vauxhall Corsa automatic that is great fun to drive! Bright Silver she is and we have named her Kyp.

So far Peter has hogged the drivers seat but he did let me have a little go in her on Saturday. I drove her down the M3 at ninety, went round a roundabout three times just to hear the tyres squeal then drove home with all the windows open and Freebird playing at 140 watts.

So he took the keys off of me! Boring git!

Yet another new site! Simply Strippers!

The latest site in our portfolio is now available to you. Introducing Simply Strippers! Stripping is the ancient art of removing clothes in an erotic manner and at Simply Strippers we have some of the finest babes in the world removing their clothes just for you!

The Thai Bride. Adults Only

An Englishman marries his Thai girlfriend and they go straight to a hotel to consumate the marriage. When he has finished he is lying there but she just wont leave him alone. She spends her whole time fondling his willy!

"Do you really like it that much?" he asks her, feelling very pleased with himself.

"Not really" she replies. "I just miss the one I used to have."

Here is a bird.

Erzat Englishman wins at Monaco.

For a change the Monace Grand Prix wasn't just the usual borefest. Because it rained we actually got a race today. Unfortunately it was won by erzat Englishman Lewis Hamilton.

This piece of dirt is typical of everything that is wrong with this country. He has already earnt more money than he can ever hope to spend in his entire life time yet now lives in Switzerland so he doesn't have to pay tax in this country.

The poor in England are taxed more heavily than just about anywhere else in the world yet the people who could ease that tax burden, the super rich like scum Hamilton, refuse to pay their way. They are quite happy to get rich on the backs of the poor who pay their wages by supporting them yet when it comes to giving something back they don't want to know.

There should be a law that states that anyone living outside the country for a year and who doesn't pay their taxes in this country has their British Passport taken away and are forced to take citizenship in whichever tax haven they have fled to.

Lewis Hamilton gave up any right he had to call himself English when he spat in the faces of the poor by moving to Switzerland just to save himself money that he could never hope to spend anyway.

All I wanted was a form stamped. Adults Only

As Mitsubishi were finding it difficult to do the only thing they exist for, provide a new car, I cancelled my order for a Colt and went to Vauxhall instead. Everything was fine. The Vauxhall Dealer, Now Motors in Kew, were brilliant. Motability were really helpful and all was going well. But then I had to get a form stamped by Twickenham Job Centre which was where it all went wrong.

When you first sign up to the Motability scheme you have to get a form stamped authorising the DLA to pay part of your disability living allowance to Motability. You are then given a "safe date" a date from when you are allowed to take delivery of the car. Because I had already signed up my safe date was May 7th but because I had a new agreement my customer reference number had changed so the paperwork was changed to reflect this and my local Job Centre, Twickenham, had to stamp the form. Something that should take seconds to do.

Firstly you can't just walk in and have the form stamped, you have to make an appointment. I believe the reason for this is that if they fill their days with ten minute appointment slots to do something that takes thirty seconds they don't actually have to do very much work.

So Friday morning I went down to have my form stamped. The rudest woman I have ever had to deal with in my life, and remember I worked for British Rail at Wimbledon Station and drove a cab for years, was assigned to stamp my form. You took one look at it and refused to sign it saying I have to have a new safe date.

So I explained that Motability were already being paid my DLA, that a new safe date wasn't needed and that all she need do is stamp the form.

"Don't tell me how to do my job" she snapped. "If I decide not to deal with you then nobody here will deal with you"

So then she rings the DLA and, because I already have a safe date they quite obviously won't issue another one.

"Well I can't stamp the form without a safe date" she tells me as she puts down the phone.

I explain that the safe date is already printed on the form, all she has to do is stamp it! But she insists that it can't be done so I ask her what happens now only for her to tell me she doesn't know and it is not her job to find out.

By now I have the serious hump and leave before I end up telling this rude arrogant stuck up bitch exactly what I think of her. I went back to the Vauxhall dealer, they got onto Motability and the DLA and the answer is the same. All that the Job Centre need to do is stamp the form. So the DLA tell me to go back to Twickenham.

So off I go back to Twickenham Job Centre. I explain to the man at the reception desk that I need my form stamped and he tells me I have to make another appointment. I tell him that is not good enough, that it was one of their staff who had got it wrong and I need my form stamped now. He tells me I have to make another appointment. I tell him I want to see a manager. He says I can't. So I demand to see a manager. Eventually he agrees but not until the security guard has threatened to throw me out! After I laughed in this security guards face and explained to him that I was having a private conversation with the receptionist and if he butted in again I would break him in half they finally agreed to let me see a manager, when one eventually became available.

Now the soppy little idiot of a security guard was now crapping himself because a nine stone man with lung cancer had just threatened him so while I sat down to wait he ran away with his tail between his legs and a grown up version turned up to replace him. While this full size man kept an eye on me I sat and waited. And waited. And waited.

Then I had an idea. I went up to the security guard and told him that I would need my medication soon and I wasn't prepared to leave until somebody had stamped my form. I suggested he contact a doctor immediately and get some oxygen on stand by for when I eventually collapsed because I hadn't had my meds.

The result was amazing! A manager appeared almost immediately, looked at my form, picked up a rubber stamp and stamped my form! Just like the ignorant bitch I was saddled with in the first place should have done!

Thanks to this arrogant bitch's attitude problem it nearly three hours to get a form stamped. I was threatened by the wimpiest security guard I have ever seen and generally treated like a piece of dirt.

But they are not going to get away with it. I have already complained to the DLA, the DWP and my MP and even if it takes me the rest of my life I will make sure that the scum who work in Job Centres learn that they are supposed to be there to help people not intimidate them.

Here is a bird.

A little bird

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of crap is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep crap, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Psalm 129

A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand
slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember
Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, 'Go forth and seek , further up , you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.

Travel Guide 1. Wales

Well I have decided to start with Wales simply because Peter has just been having a rant about the Welsh. It is also pretty close which is a big bonus because it makes it easy to get out of when you can't take any more. Because believe me, if you do go to Wales you won't want to stay long.

Well where do we start? The Welsh will tell you the scenery is spectacular and that it is a beautiful place. Maybe it is but it never stops raining long enough to find out. I would describe the scenery as bleak and depressing. even the sheep, which seem to be everywhere, are a dirty off white colour, as if they are covered in coal dust or something. Of course it isn't coal dust because the coal mining industry virtually dissapeared years ago when the miners tried to hold the rest of us to ransom and eventually priced themselves out of work.

As for the weather. Well there is a reason they have so many sheep in Wales. Sheep eat grass and there is plenty of grass. And there is plenty of grass because it never stops raining. The weather in Wales can be summed up in one word. Awful.

The Welsh also have some odd customs. Worrying sheep, for example, is almost their national sport. If you go out in your wellies and aproach a sheep be prepared for it to turn and run, especially if you are a man. They also think they can sing but, as anybody who has ever heard their attempts at singing will testify, they can't. Their singing is quite possibly the only thing worse than their awful accent.

They also have their own nonsensical language that doesn't have any vowels but because 1% of them can actually understand it they use huge amounts of English tax payers money to have all their roadsigns and stuff in Welsh as well as their official language, English.

The North of Wales is probably the worst part. Especially in the summer when it seems to be full of scousers, bought up next to the Mersey, all staring in amazement at rivers that are not dark brown and don't have turds floating along the surface.

The food is bland. The weather is crap, the natives rude, ignorant and unsociable, the scenery is bleak and their idea of a fit bird is that fat bint Charlotte Church. In short this suburb of England has absolutely nothing going for it as a holiday destination and is somewhere best avoided.

I have booked my holiday. Adults Only

Now I know I will definitely have my new car I have booked my holiday. Castonya and I are off to France with our mate Piotr on 16th June. We are going camping in the Loire Valley.

It is an absolute bargain. Seven nights in a tent with proper beds, fridge, cooker etc, our own barbeque outside, free canoe hire and three swimming pools is £231 all in, including the ferry crossing! Including the fuel it will cost us less than £150 each for the week!

Here is a fit bird.

Mitsubishi are useless! Adults Only

After waiting patiently for four weeks, the time I was told it would take to deliver my new car, I rang the dealer today. Apparantly Mitsubishi have some problems and the car wouldn't be available until the end of July. That would be three months since I ordered it!

So I cancelled it. After all if it takes three months build the the thing and ship it from Holland how long would it take to get spare parts for it should it ever need any?

So I went straight down my local Vauxhall dealer and ordered a new Corsa. This will be delivered in about ten to twelve days. It is not as economical but a lot quieter, more comfortable and far better looking. And I can actually get one which is a big improvement on the Mitsubishi!

Here is a fit bird.

Thank you Peter

Well Peter has just put me in charge of our new Travel Guides! Cool, I have never been in charge before. Hope it doesn't go to my head like that gormless Gordon bloke. Or that chancer before him, Billy Liar was it? You know the bloke anyway. The socialist with the six houses and the gobby wife.

I will obviously do my best to make these guides as unbiased and truthful as possible but I will of course be open to bribes, just like the government. Unfortunately, unlike our government, I don't have access to unlimited amounts of tax payers money so I won't be able to visit all these places so will really be basing my observations on what other people have said but then that is exactly how the government makes decisions anyway. After all none of our MP's have ever done a days work in their lives but they tell us what we should be doing.

So I am looking forward to this. Thanks Peter. You can count on me!

Travel Guides.

Apparantly, according to the papers last week, us Brits are pretty poor at geography and most of us can't even point out our foreign holiday destinations on a map let alone know anything about where we are going.

Well the map part is simple. Just go to Multimap or another site like it. But if you want to know more about your destination then just come here. We have decided we will help out and over time Castonya will tell you everything you need to know about foreign countries and their cultures. So watch for this tag; Travel Guides.

They will only be occasional but I am sure you will find them very useful.

The Welsh need a lesson in respect.

On Saturday we had the FA cup final and Cardiff were playing. Which was cool. They deserved to be there. Now the FA cup is an English competition and Cardiff, although a Welsh team, choose to play in it. Every year before the game the British National Anthen is played, God Save the Queen. Now as this is the British National Anthem and not the English anthem this should have sufficed.

But somebody somewhere decided it would be polite or something to play the Welsh anthem as well. So some English supporters booed while it was being played. Mainly because of the god awful noise the so called singer was making. She proved once and for all that the Welsh cannot sing and their attempts are on par with their previous attempts to run a coal mining industry! So when the British anthem was played the Welsh section of the crowd decided to boo! Yes they booed the British National Anthem!

Now last time I looked at the amount of English taxpayers money the Welsh are quite happily pocketing Wales was part of Great Britain. A minor part I admit but a part just the same. But it seems that they are not happy with that. They want to use their ancient language, they want their own government and they want to be independant.

Fine. get on with it. Start by not taking any more of our taxes. Give up your free prescriptions, payed for by the English even though we don't get them. Set up your own health system, education system etc. Police your own borders and set up your own anti terrorist forces. Be independant but do it without our money. While you are getting started we can use some of the billions of pounds we would save by not having you lot poncing off of us to set up our own customs patrols along the Welsh border to stop the hundreds of thousands of starving refugees pouring out of the valleys.

But until that happens you are part of Great Britain, like it or not and when the British National Anthem is played don't disrespect it. Because it is your anthem as well.

Minorities trying to cash in again!

Hopefully something like this can only happen in America, the land of the lawyer, but it seems some black Africans are trying to fill their pockets because of the slave trade and are sueing Lloyds!

The suit, filed in Manhattan’s federal court, seeks just over £1 billion in punitive damages from Lloyd’s, tobacco firm RJ Reynolds and banking group FleetBoston. The suit also seeks unspecified actual damages.

Apparantly they are going to use DNA to prove where they come from but why it should matter is beyond me. Everyone throughout the world knows that the slave trade was wrong. But taking into acount all the following generations there are now millions of descendants of slaves scattered all over the world. Are they all entitled to compensation?

And who is sueing the black Africans who participated in the slave trade? Who is sueing the Arabs who made huge profits from it? What about the Egyptians? Is anybody sueing them for keeping the Israelites as slaves?

Lets face some facts here. Slavery was already well established as a very profitable trade before the white man ever set foot in Africa. We just provided another lucrative market. The leaders of the stronger African tribes could now sell their slaves to the European traders as well as the Arab traders they were already selling to.

If some of the descendants of slaves are not prepared to look to the future rather than the past then why not concentrate on bringing the founders of this barbaric trade to count rather than the next link in the chain? Is it because there is no money to be made in sueing poor black Africans who just happen to be descended from these powerful tribes that started the trade?

Until that happens then any attempt to extract money form any company or corporation who profited from this trade is just an excuse to line the plaintives pockets.

Sometimes. Adults Only

Sometimes when there is a photo of a tasty bit of stuff there is a reason for it. But not very often. Usually they are there just to give us something to look at. Be honest, it's what fit birds are for. To look at.

This is one of those times. This very nice eastern European babe is here just because she looks good.

See how good here.

Meet the staff. Adults Only

Well I am hoping that we are going to be having some new faces looking in on us so I figured it might be a good idea to explain what the site is all about. Which is easier said than done!

Okay firstly lets us introduce ourselves. I am Peter and the guy who was writing earlier is Castonya. We both live in the same head and it's not really powerful enough to let us both out at the same time. So you get one or the other of us. You can usually tell which one of us it is by reading the posts but if you are not sure then look at the labels. We both label our own posts as does our other occasional contributer, Mr Slezy.

Castonya and I have lung cancer, in remission at the moment we think/hope. We also have COPD and Emphazema. We don't do things by halves! Mr Slezy also has COPD but is usually out of breath because he spends half his life looking at porn and using vast quantities of baby oil. We also have a site photographer but the only time he ever had to go out and take any pics he forget his camera so you wont hear much of him.

We have been described as sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, disrespectful to islam, capitalistic, chauvanistic and a whole load of other things that also make us feel very proud. About the only description of our site that we don't agree with is that the search engines say it is adult content. Just because we put pics of fit birds next to the posts doesn't make us an adult site. The Sun does it and that isn't considered adult so why should we be? The only thing you will find here that you won't find in The Sun is the truth.

We are not allowed by law to ban women from coming here. But if we were they would be banned. The same goes for the sexually challenged and the Welsh. But if you belong to one of these groups and insist on coming here then don't blame me if you get offended. But luckily our main hate is socialism, socialists and the god awful mess the socialist scum in charge have made of our country.

So socialists and anybody who ever voted Labour are definitely not welcome. So go somewhere else, preferably a shrink to get help.

Here is a bird.

Lilly Allen Topless.

Lilly who? I hear you ask. Don't worry, I don't know who she is either. But apparantly she sings or something and is supposed to be a celebrity. And we all know what topless celebrities mean don't we? yes, perverts looking for topless pictures of them!

So, in a blatant attempt to get more people coming to the site here we have Lilly Allen topless. That is Lilly Allen flashing her boobs in some sunbathing pics.

I'd do anything.

Google was just watching Andrew LLoyd Webbers's latest free advert on the BBC, I'd do anything. It was down to five and even though the punters, sorry, viewers vote somebody out every week it doesn't actually matter because Andrew LLoyd Webber decides anyway!

Now this isn't as bad as it sounds because if anyone is going to decide which one of two fit birds is going to get kicked out Andrew Lloyd Webber is certainly qualified. He even looks like a dirty old man!

But tonight he told the bird, some foreign bint who can't even spell her own name, Irish I think she was, that she had been kicked out because she was too young. Now I thought ageism was illegal nowdays and that you can't turn someone down for a job, any job, because of their age.

So love, do yourself a favour, find yourself a lawyer and sue him! Apparantly Cherie Blair is skint and could do with a new client and some publicity.

Welcoming Wordpress Viewers.

PMT for men has spread it's wings! As well as being published on Blogger we are now available on Wordpress. So you have a choice of which version you view!

PMT for Men on Blogger.

or

PMT for Men on Wordpress.

So to all you new Wordpress viewers, welcome, I hope you enjoy the site. A little later I will explain what it is all about!

A women in distress.

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them were hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling.... about women drivers; the woman says, 'So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days'. Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.’

The woman continues, 'and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'

The woman replies, 'No, I think I'll just wait for the police....'

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Never Trust A Women in distress!

Are women are slacking in their chores?

I read recently in a newspaper that a new survey out reveals women push an iron 215 miles in their lifetime, and men cover a total of 73. Apparently, the average woman only spends 1 hour and 14 minutes pressing clothes and only covers about 120 yards per week.

Come on girls your slacking! What do you think lads? They should be doing at least 2 hours and 200 yards. After all, us men spend more time giving our right arms some exercise with a pint in the local pub and have to walk further to get to it than that.

It also says that half of the men have ruined garments and a quarter still get their mums to do it for them (which I think is the preferred method, as it frees up the girlfriend/wife for an extra couple of hours in the bedroom). So, I’m sure everyone is in agreement when I say that women should stick to the ironing (they are better at it) and leave things like the driving to the men (they are better at it).

Bob the next door neighbour

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob ,the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says ,

'I'll give you £800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks ,
'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour, ' she replies.

'Great ,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?'

WARNING To All TESCOS Shoppers (please read very carefully)

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get groceries has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works.

Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start wiping your windscreen with a rag and Windowlene , with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Tescos.

You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen April 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th & 24th. Also May 1st, 4th, twice on the 6th, three times just yesterday, and very likely this coming weekend. So tell your friends to be careful.

Come on Slezy

I’m sorry there have been no posts from me lately. (Yes, I’ve had Castonya on my back, moaning as usual) It’s because I’ve been ill. Does anyone notice a pattern here? For those that haven’t noticed, we are all sick on this site.

You see, I am addicted to sex and couldn’t get any. But, I’m on the mend after a vigorous course in Self help. Anyway, I was thinking that I’m one of them
‘Sexually challenged’ that Peter and Castonya keep on about.
I mean having sexual intercourse in my life is Certainly a challenge!

An example; The last female that had the pleasure of my company told me of a secret that she like all other women looked for eight qualities in a man. Brave,Intelligent, Gentle, Polite, Energetic, Non-alcoholic, Industrious, and Self-organised. In short, B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S.

Well, I’ve got all them qualities, but she like all the others was
only around for a week or two. I know I’m doing something wrong. So, any ideas?
Am I missing something?

What do you two think? Do I qualify as ‘sexual challenged’ and if so, How much benefit will I get and does it stack with other benefits? I’m sure there’s something in the human rights act somewhere that
will cover it.

Right, I better get and find some humourous stuff before Peter carries out his threat and stops adding more sites full of gorgeous girls for us to ogle at.

Just for Wolf. Adults Only

Here we have a lovely brunette cutie just for Wolf. I wont tell you why I think he will like her but I am pretty sure he will. Her name is Nicky and she is an Eastern European babe.

Lust over her great body here.

If you work at customs at Heathrow

If you work at customs at Heathrow then take some advice and take the 4th and 25th of September off. Because believe me body searching my mum and Mary will not be a lot of fun!

Booking flights!

This week I had to book flights for google to go to Canada with her sister Mary in September. To get the best deal I went to a flight search engine and then looked up the cheapest and went direct to their websites. See, if you actually book through one of these search sites you are paying them commision usually.

For example, the cheapest I found Air Canada flights were £880. But when I went to Air Canada's site it was £840. So use the flight search sites to find who is the cheapest then book direct! Just a tip there, nothing to do with the story!

Anyway she wanted to fly with Air Canada or BA and as Air Canada were cheaper we tried to book it. So I went to their website and got the prices but because my mum has had a couple of illnesses and may need oxygen on standby on the flight I couldn't book online so rang them instead. Big mistake!

After being passed around five differnt people, where I had to explain everything each time, we got the oxygen sorted. An extra £150, even if she didn't use it. So then I hand the phone over to my mum and she tries to pay. Firstly they want to charge an extra £20 because we are booking by phone and not online. So I go back on the phone and point out that it says quite clearly on their website that if you cannot complete your booking online for any reason then you wont get charged the extra.

"But that means if there is a technical problem" she tells me.

"Well I don't know about you but I consider there not even being a box to tick to add the charge for oxygen a pretty big technical problem" I told her.

And eventually the charge was dropped.

"Your Joking!" is the next thing I hear my mum say.

Over half an hour we had been on the phone to these idiots and when she went to pay they don't take Maestro! This is Nat Wests only debit card, held by around nine million people and they don't take it!

So off we went to British Airways. Who were brilliant! It was all sorted withen ten minutes including arranging a wheel chair each end for my mum. It was £50 dearer but she got her insurance cheaper through them and the flight times were better as well.

The only thing I didn't like with BA was that next to how much luggage can you take it said whatever you like but remember that you are never going to see it again!

Did you hear?

Did you hear about the bloke whose wife left him?

Everytime she asked him to take her somewhere expensive he took her to a petrol station!

Well there I was!

I was sitting here thinking shall I go and annoy people on the site for an hour or not when I got e-mail from Ivan The Terrible. He sent this and sick as it might be I just had to laugh. Cheers Ivan.

Why is the West sending aid to China?

Okay the earthquake in China is a disaster and everything should be done to help the people there. But why are Western Countries donating money?

We keep being told that China is the fastest growing economy in the World. They are now up amongst the richest countries. In order to acheive this they are completely ruining the economies of many countries in the West.

They are flooding the USA and Europe with fake goods, an industry their government turns a blind eye to. Because of the slave labour they employ in their sweat shops they are also able to manufacture goods far cheaper than we can in the West and our undermining our own manufacturing industries.

Why can't they use this wealth to fund the aid effort? Why should taxpayers in the West fund it?

I spoke to Sleazy last week.

I spoke to Mr Sleazy last week, Friday I think it was. he said he was about to post some stuff on the site. But as yet it hasn't arrived!

Now come on Sleazy, I know that the old Telewest Broadband has been slow and generally crap since Virgin Media got hold of it and ruined it but a week to upload a post! That is ridiculous!

A brunette and a corvette. Adults Only

This knickerless brunette babe spreading herself over the red Corvette is Adri.

Power up your grease gun here.

Two babes and some great cars. Adults Only

Here is something we haven't had for a while. A couple of fit birds getting their kit off and posing on some hot cars.

Take a look here.

2000 Free galleries in one place!

Yes, we have extended our portfolio once more and have now put every gallery ever featured on any of our partner sites all on one great site Simply Babes UK.

The other sites will continue to run for the people who just want to browse that particular catergory. But they will also all be added to Simply Babes UK as well so that they can all be found in one place. That is 2000 free galleries already and more added every week. It even has RSS feeds so when your favourite sites update their galleries the links will immediately be in place.

Take a look then tell your friends. Simply Babes UK is simply the best place to find babes on the Internet.

Kaydin in Corfu. Adults Only

Just had news from Corfu. It seems Kaydin has settled in well at Angels Pool and is proving popular with both the residents and tourists in Paleokastritsa. She has sent us the pics to show us just how nice the weather is.

See the full gallery here.

Lindsey Marshal Topless. Adults Only

Well, as promised yesterday, here is another bird out enjoying the sun. This time it is Lindsey Marshal getting her bits out for us. See this full topless teen gallery here.

Like watching paint dry. Adults Only

Did you see the Formula 1 yesterday? Did you stay awake? Yesterday it was from Istanbul and proved once and for all that the only thing good to ever have come out of Turkey was the kebab.

The highlight of yesterdays bore fest was Lewis Hamiltons brilliant strategy! After getting to second by the first corner he went on a three stop strategy that worked so well that after almost two hundred miles of racing he ended up second! Brilliant!

Meanwhile, at Monza in Italy, the World Superbike boys showed what motor racing should be about. There was action on every lap of both races with neither race being decided until the last corner.

Maybe the people in charge of F1 should take note?

Here is a bird.

It's not just the birds. Adults Only

It is not just the birds that this weather brings out. You also get the fair weather bikers out as well and during the next few months you will get to see all manor of weird and wonderful machinery tearing up and down our roads.

Just like this one! See the full babe and a bike gallery here.

Hasn't the weather been great? Adults Only

Hasn't the weather been great lately? Blue skies, nice and sunny and warm as well. And as usual it brought the birds out. To celebrate summer finally being on it's way here is the first of some birds getting their kit off outdoors.

See this cutie stripping for you here.