PMT Exclusive!

With the use of some rather nifty spy equiptment PMT for Men has managed to eavesdrop on a private conversation between John Reid and Tony Blair. At the risk of prosecution I have decided to publish it in full.

"Hi Billy, How's it going? You look a bit worried."

"Money problems I'm afraid John. The wide mouth frog thinks we need some extra income for when I chuck it in and we won't have the taxpayers to fund our lifestyle. Now the cash for honours scheme has gone tits up I am at a loss to know what to do next. And why do you call me Billy?"

"Everyone calls you Billy, after that kid in the book who lives in a fantasy world and can never tell the truth. Billy Liar."

"Oh I see, rather flattering really."

"Well honest comparison anyway. But enough of that. I can see your problem. You have already been caught out taking donations a few times, there is a chance you might get your collar felt for the honours scam and pretty soon you are going to have to start paying your own way. But I just might have the solution."

"I hope so, there will be a drink in it for you of course. Plus my support if you decide to run for leader when I hand over."

"God no! I wan't to have a chance, the drink will do nicely thank you!"

"Whatever. So what is this scheme them, a defence contract to one of my friends? Some support abroad somewhere so a friend gets a contract? "

"No no. They have all been done before, you have milked them dry. No what I have in mind is perfect. An extension of your magnificant human rights scam. You know the one where you passed the law then handed your wife almost the entire legal aid budget in legal fees?"

"How could I forget? That was the highlight of my political career. The perfect policy!"

"Well what I have in mind improves on it, as well as having the added advantage of making it look as if you are cracking down on crime."

"I like it already! Tell me more."

"Well what we do is pass a law allowing us to ban suspected criminals from using cash points, using mobile phones, getting access to their cash etc. We won't need any evidence or a court order or anything, we will just go ahead and do it."

"But will that not be an infringement fo their human rights?"

"Exactly! We infringe their human rights and your wife gets paid to represent them! These people have fortunes, they can pay cash in hand then when she gets the a huge chunk of compensation Cherie gets a percentage. It's perfect!"

"I like it! How soon can we bring it in?"