I am ashamed.

Okay, well you all know I dont often screw up, if you ignore the past 45 years anyway. But I think I have big time tonight.

I just let one of the nicest women I have ever met know that I have a website. And come on, you,ve all been here long enough, you know what she will think. Racist, sexist, biggot, yes I have been called them all. And in some circumstances justifiably. I get the hump, I vent my feelings on here. Mostly because I have always been shy and don't really have the confidence to talk to people. So I write on here and hope that people who know me actually work it out for themselves what I am really like.

And when I say nice I mean nice. She is pretty, intelligent, has amazing taste in music, and I so enjoy her company. She only wan't to be friends, not looking for a boyfriend, which, believe it or not, is cool. Of course I would like her to be more but If she doesn't want that then I'm cool with friends. This is real life, you don't meet special people that often.

And she is special,. Any women that can make her own way in the sort of sexist society that I advocate on here has to be special.

But I'm ashamed. Ashamed of some of the things I say on this site. Ashamed that I run a website that 50,000 people have visited yet I was scared to tell her about it.

Should I be? I don't honestly know. A lot of what I say on here is done with the purpose of causing offence. A lot of what I say is from the heart. All I do know for certain is that that this site has had 50,000 hits. If I am proud of that or not I'm not sure. But the fact that she has made me question it says a hell of a lot about her.

And if I had the choice? Her friendship or this site? Well I guess you would all have to find somewhere else to go.