Ten thousand new law enforcers. Adults Only

All across the country thousands of people are being trained to catch criminals in the act. They are being armed with digital cameras and video surveliance equiptment and by June there will be ten thousand of them out on our streets protecting the public.

So has Billy Liar decided to honour is pre election promise of getting tough on crime? Are these people going to be following burglars and muggers and catching them in the act? Will they be gathering evidence on illegal immigrants, drug dealers, car thieves and other New Labour voters?

Well actually no. They are being trained for a far more important job. Something far more important than gun crime, mugging, burglary, car jacking, people smuggling, illegal immigration, anti social behaviour or any other of the growth industries that have sprung up under this government.

These brave new officials in Tony Blairs brave new Britain will be there to make sure that the new no smoking ban is enforced properly! That's right, councils across the land are busy spending tax payers money hand over fist training people to go around pubs spying on people and handing out fixed penalty notices to people who dare to use in public something that they have not only obtained completely legally but that they have also paid a huge amount of tax for!

It has to be the most profitable business the world has ever see. Just look at this for a business model.

1)Encourage the use of and allow companies to market something that is not only bad for peoples health but is also highly addictive. Put a small tax on it and wait until half the population is addicted to it.

2)Start leaking details to the public about it maybe not being that good for you. Ban advertising and encourage people not to use by doubling the tax. Claim a nice chunk of the companies who are producing the products huge profits and a donation to your company.

3)Make it illegal to use in public, take tax on it when it's sold, tax people, sorry fine people when they do use it, ban people who use it from getting the health care they have paid ten times over for then claim a nice chunk of the companies who are producing the products huge profits.

Now if they banned it completely, or stopped making money out of it, I wouldn't have a problem. But by continuing to allow the sale of tobacco and continuing to take huge amounts of taxes from it while at the same time persecuting them same taxpayers is nothing less than state sponsered discrimination and violates the human rights of around 15 million people. Here is a fit bird.