Well I do get quite a few more visitors than I used to and I am expecting a few more, when the pervs turn up looking for Jemima Khan without her knickers and when Ian and Lorraine pass on the e-mails I sent them with the link to this site on the bottom. So I figured that it might be an idea to let them know what is actually going on here, and that it's not just all an excuse to post pictures of fit birds.
Now that is easier said than done, and a hell of a lot easier said than typed, considering I have been doing this since before my hair went grey and I still don't know whats going on. But there are a few general guidelines that will help you make the most of your stay.
Firstly start at the bottom, because thats where I start. Just scroll down, find the relevant date then work your way up. Don't ask me why, it's just how blogs work. Anyway it's none of your business, just do as you are told. Trust me, I'm a regular kind of guy.
Secondly read the words. Yes I know it's tempting just to look at the pics of the crumpet but the words are just as good. Believe me, I've read them!
Thirdly, if you are a hairdresser, BMW driver, New Labour supporter or any other sort of Homosexual then of course you can come in. I believe it's illegal for me to say otherwise. But be warned, this is not exactly a politically correct site and the only pink we like to see I can't really see you being interested in.
Fourthly, Lesbians are most welcome. Especially the exhorbistionist types that like to let somebody watch them, and take the occasional photograth, join in etc. In fact, in a pole taken amongst regular viewers it turned out that most of the middle aged men here have actually been closet lesbians all their lives.
Fifthly, the minority of women who are not lesbians are of course free to join us, once more it would be illegal for me to say otherwise. However you too may not emjoy the experience. Unless of course you think like we do, that women should be seen and not heard and should spend the majority of their time between the kitchen and the bedroom. For those women still here after that, "Hi, my name is Pete, welcome to my dating agency."
Finally, at last, and about bloody time, my fingers ache from typing now, just enjoy yourselves. I think I enjoy doing it, apart from the typing, the thinking of what to type, the pissing about publishing the pictures and the e-mail complaints. And if all else fails, get a box of tissues and look at the pictures.
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